Question on dating

[jaent00]

Hey all, I wanted to ask you alls opinion on something.

I have been divorced for two years. I've gone on quite a few "dates" but it was always one or two and there just wasn't anything left there.

Now I found a girl that I'm really into, we have gone out quite a bit sometimes with friends sometimes just the two of us. We always have fun and love being around each other. We talk probably 3 or 4 times a day.

Now with that said, the issue I'm running into is two fold. The first is that she understands that I was hurt previously and she's been extremely patient with me opening up about certain things but I am still having a hard time letting myself be completely vulnerable. I'm sure many of you have had the same feelings so any advice you could offer on moving past that would be great.

The second thing is that my best friend is really into her as well. He would never try to cross me but I know of things that have been said. Things like she is 7 years younger than me and only 3 younger then him so she'd be better off with him. I have a demanding job so can't just pick up and leave anytime like he could with his customer service job. You guys have any advice on how to approach him with the subject and what to say. I've already told him that she and I have talked about his feelings and they are not reciprocated by her. But he still will do what he can to show up where we are so he can talk to her and the like. She usually just turns to me and will be polite to him but not give him that much attention.

Anyway, that's about it. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

J

[sfalexi]

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Things like she is 7 years younger than me and only 3 younger then him so she'd be better off with him.

Well that's just bullshit. There's no "mathematical formula" to say who she'd be better off with.

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I have a demanding job so can't just pick up and leave anytime like he could with his customer service job.

Once again bullshit. Maybe he CAN do that, but that's not to say that you CAN'T have a great relaitonship with her.

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I've already told him that she and I have talked about his feelings and they are not reciprocated by her. But he still will do what he can to show up where we are so he can talk to her and the like.

Then I'd say he's not a friend. Cause a friend doesn't do shit like this. He respects your private life and you're relationships. And doesn't do this. I'd cross him off the friend list. And stop sympathizing with him and tell him good and hard, "She doesn't like you. Get over it and leave us alone."

Alexi

[Pretender]

"Then I'd say he's not a friend. Cause a friend doesn't do shit like this. He respects your private life and you're relationships. And doesn't do this. I'd cross him off the friend list. And stop sympathizing with him and tell him good and hard, "She doesn't like you. Get over it and leave us alone.""

Sfalexi very passionate you're turning me on!

We've all been hurt sometime in our life by someone special so everyone can give you advice on this one. You can't let the past hurt your current relationships. Just because someone messed with you in the past doesnt' mean this girl will do it to you now and you have to realize that because you are putting up an invisible wall between you. The girl can only wait so long for you man. Take a deep breath and let your guard down. Chances are you could be hurt again or you could fall in love with her and have the time of your life. We only live once and why waste it with insecurities that have no basis with the current love of our life!

And seriously forget your friend. It's your turn for love now go for it.

[Illusional]

look at things from this angle, it seems that you're very interested in this girl and so is your friend. now are you willing to let her loose the feelings that she has for you now because you're unable to give her the feelings that she wants in return? more so being that she has another option, your friend, she has nothing to lose.. but only your interest. now if you could change all this by opening up to her and forgetting about the past. as i have said before, i think the people in general tend to worry too much about the future that they get caught up in the present and forget that life is too short for anything. to be satisfied later in life, you're gonna have to only worry about NOW and forget tomorow or the past because it's either too far ahead or too far behind to think about. raverboy