lover's decreased sexual interest - Love Forum

Tracy21 · #1 (**permalink**) 04-04-04, 02:16 PM

I am 21 and in college. My boyfriend of a year and a half is 22. When we first started dating, he couldn't keep his hands off me. He wanted sex several times a week. It was great. However, over the last few months, his interest seemed to have completly dissipated. I'm lucky if he's in the mood for sex maybe once a month! It feels so odd, ME the FEMALE being the horney one. I find myself masturbating at least once a week. When we discussed his lack of interest in sex, he explained that it was simple due to stress. Since he is graduating this may, he has been studying more and going to all his classes. He's also said that sex just tires him out, when often he wants to study late into the night. Well that doesn't help me out! I love him dearly, but my sex life has just reached rock bottom! The worst part is since we only have it on average once per month, he usually comes very quickly-like under five minutes. He doesn't seem to realize that this doesn't make bring me to orgasm!!!

Does anyone have any suggestions how to make my boyfriend horney again? Or maybe I should just invest in a dildo? =/

sfalexi · #2 (**permalink**) 04-04-04, 02:24 PM

Invest in one if you want. Might be fun. As for the sex issue, studies have proven (I've read in several magazines) that couples that don't have sex often grow very apart. And the researchers recommend having sex routinely about once a week even if you aren't "in the mood". It'll help keep the relatoinship stronger than not having sex.

Also, it'll make sure he remembers how good it feels for after he graduates so you guys can have all that "celebration" time.

Alexi

PS - Shouldn't he have been "going to all his classes" throughout college? Not skipping and then waiting till a month before graduation to "go to all his classes"? Not to be judgemental, but shame on him!

Illusional · #3 (**permalink**) 04-04-04, 02:25 PM

wow is that what you really think of me?? nah nah j/k

hrmm.... your bf might be telling the truth about studying and all. that is the first option. second one is that he is using studying and graduation as an excuse not to have sex with you. i remember one of my ex's in a previous relationship. towards the ending part of it, i didn't really wanna have sex with her and i wasn't as attracted to her. like in your situation we used to have a lot of sex in the beginning but things quickly changed with a change of emotion. my suggestion is that you talk to your bf to really see if things are changing. take notice of hwo he treats you because with all the studying that he is doing, there is always time for friends, partying, and of course you. what i'm saying is that he will make time for the necessities in life and you shouuld make sure that you're still up there on his list. if not, then i'm sorry to say but it might be comming to a closure before you realize it.

ps.. you should go for the dildo because it will always be around when you're ready. and when you're done, it will never go limp hahahaha

raverboy

sfalexi · #4 (**permalink**) 04-04-04, 02:25 PM

Oh yeah. And talk to him about it.

Illusional · #5 (**permalink**) 04-04-04, 02:27 PM

hey, i'm gonna grad next semester and i still miss some classes. you don't need all of them to graduation. it's only a nasty myth. raverboy

sfalexi · #6 (**permalink**) 04-04-04, 02:44 PM

Yeah. I was just pokin' some fun in here. I graduate in the summer (because I missed too many History 114's in the fall semester.......and missed too many history 114's in the spring semester.......so summer's the next opportunity to take it!

)

Illusional · #7 (**permalink**) 04-04-04, 03:19 PM

haha... don't worry, one of my friends took the same math class hrmm..roughy around 4-5 times. sure in the beginning it's the same old stuff so you don't go to class, then before you know it, the new stuffs is pretty hard and you're not doing so great anymore. so he dropped the class and ending up retaking it. i guess it happens but 4-5 times?? c'mon now. raverboy

Tracy21 · #8 (**permalink**) 04-04-04, 04:16 PM

hehe thanks guys. overall he still treats me great. he's a wonderful, wonderful guy (and i've had my fair share of assholes). i just can't figure out what's going on in the bedroom. am i not sexy enough? maybe he has a hormone inbalance? maybe we're getting like an old married couple?? who knows. on the whole i don't feel we're growing apart, at least not yet. i actually feel lately we've become more affection, just definetly less sexual. oh well, guess i got to invest in that dildo!!!

squirrley · #9 (**permalink**) 04-04-04, 07:31 PM

girl start doing things to get him in the mood!

sexy wear for example, suprise him one night.
add some spice to it for sure.

hes probaby stressing from school. but YOU can help him along the way. Be aggressive with him! Tell him youve got to have him!

And if that doesnt work get the dildo.

Pretender · #10 (**permalink**) 04-04-04, 09:25 PM

it's unanimous invest in the dildo. Can't argue with the majority.!

Innova · #11 (**permalink**) 04-04-04, 10:48 PM

Hes not in the mood after a year lol. When I was with my ex, the longer our relationshhip grew..the more sex we had rofl, not the other way around.

Tease that man, make him want it.

Fawn · #12 (**permalink**) 05-04-04, 12:28 AM

Not to sound bad or anything, but this thread gets better and better.. rofl...

Anyways, everyones suggestionss sound good. It is most likely just stress. So, just tease him till he can't handle it anymore!!

sfalexi · #13 (**permalink**) 05-04-04, 01:24 AM

Quote:

overall he still treats me great. he's a wonderful, wonderful guy (and i've had my fair share of assholes)

Excellent. Congrats!

Quote:

am i not sexy enough? maybe he has a hormone inbalance? maybe we're getting like an old married couple??

Well, sometimes things DO get a little old. Doing the same thing, all the time. I can't vouch for how it works in sex (being a virgin), but even just fooling around in the same environment, doing the same things gets a little boring. Like Squirrel said, spice it up! Sexy wear, rent a porno and act out the scenes, be super aggresive one night, try a change of scenery. Take him out for a dinner and go to a hotel room for one night. Do it in the shower, throw him on a table or couch, do a little secretive "touching" in a car on the way back to the apartment telling him you can't wait to get there . . . have some fun with it all.

Alexi

Tracy21 · #14 (**permalink**) 05-04-04, 08:33 AM

i love it! thanks alexi! thanks everyone!

jerzygrl · #15 (**permalink**) 06-04-04, 05:11 AM

everyone has given awesome suggestions--

u guys missed one...

while ur man is just hanging out watching tv walk up to him and just go down on him. that might get him in the mood! lol

also-- if hes just too tired to perform that might help-- in addition to masturbating in front of him or renting a porno... the options are endless!!!!!!!!! have fun!