betrayal of "friends"

[Dioquardo]

Dear Readers:

I have some problems I am dealing with, and I really need the advice of some impartial third parties...

Recently, i went out with my boyfriend and some friends. At the end of the night, I went home and he went back with our two friends. Please note, they had been drinking.

Now, I want to add that my boyfriend has had some issues with the fact that ours is the first serious relationship that he has been in, and he has been struggling with wondering what it would be like to be with other people. We have been working on this.

Well, as it turns out, when he went home with our "friends," they had a threesome. I was torn apart. I won't dwell on how hurt I was. I love my boyfriend so much that I could not end the relationship with him. He claims to have overcome his prior concerns with wondering what it would be like to be with other people, and I think we are going to end up being better than ever.

However, I am having difficulty knowing that people that I didn't feel too close to that consider us to be friends would do that to me. I can certainly forgive with time, for to forgive is divine. But, I feel that I will not be able to hang out with them. All of them are pressing me to not be so stubborn and overcome it so we can hang out again... I just don't think that it is right.

I am not saying that I cannot forgive...but I just cannot see ourselves as all hanging out again. Something has happened that will prohibit our interactions for every being the same again. Is that wrong? I keep telling them that true friends would never have done something so disrespectful to me. It doesn't help that I didn't feel too close to them to begin with.

What do you all think? Is it ridiculous for them to want me to hang out with the people who have caused me so much pain, the same people who took advantage of the love of my life?

Thanks for your time and consideration!

[jane]

walk away from this... actually run away form this. This guy cant have the feelings you have for him. Regardless of the alchohol.. regardless of his feelings.. he doesnt love you they way you love him.

As for your so called friends... OBVIOUSLY.. they arent your friends. Friends dont do that to one another.

Sorry to be so blunt, but my X cheated on me with my best friend and you know what.. they are married now..

With friends like that.. who needs emines! Sorry..

[squirrley]

Ive got one issue with this whole thing...

why the hell would you abandon your friends but hang on to the boyfriend?

Its like this-your friends certainly arent your friends for doing that to you. But where does it say thats its okay that you can forgive HIM and not them. That shit makes no damn sense.

Granted friends will or should anyway always be there for you thorugh thick and thin(yours werent) and boyfriends will come and go...

Sounds like you got shafted from all of them...
Id get the hell away from them all INCLUDING YOUR LOVING BOYFRIEND.

Its fine to discuss possibly seeing other people for experince sake lets say-you end the relationship and move on...but your man disssed your ass in the worst possible way. And youre ok with taking him back and not your friends. Im sorry to be bold its not like me really-but that is ****ed up.

You should consider a whole new realm of circle of friends and certainly a new boyfriend.

[sfalexi]

Let's do a little roleplay here. Let's say you get a little tipsy and were drinking. Do you think now that you could just forget your boyfriend and go have sex with two other people at the same time? And then just act as though it's no big deal? If you don't think you'd be "ok" with doing that to your boyfriend, then what right does he have that to do with you?

Don't except this. You accepted it too quickly, too easily. He'll do it again. Sure right now he's satisfied cause he was with these two other women. What happens a month down the road when he's only been with you and starts noticing all the OTHER pretty girls walking down the street? He's gonna do the same thing. And come back to you with the same lines, "It won't happen again. I got it out of my system. Please forgive me. I love you."

What a loser. Leave 'em.

[Pretender]

Dioquardo I wish we were friends so I could take care of your problem for you. I would tell all of them to **** off. The fact that you even took your boyfriend back sickens me. How can you do that to yourself? Didn't you ever hear once a cheater always a cheater?

I don't know if you guys have kids or anything but say you do and you won't be as attractive as you are now. Do you honestly think he is going to stay with you and not cheat?

WHERE IS YOUR SELF RESPECT? GET RID OF HIM!