Help

[Amanda]

Hello all,
I need some opinions here. I work with this guy that I am very attracted to, I know that he is also attracted to me cause some of the things he has said to me, and also his obvious body language towards me. I should tell you first of all that he is married and has a couple of kids. I will call him David.

Okay, the signs of body language, would be that he always makes sure that when he checks me out, that I see him, and then he will always look me straight in the eye and raise his eyebrows afterwards. And he always calls me a sweetheart or says that I'm awesome.

Now I normally wouldn't ever go after someone who is already legally bound to someone else, unless I knew he wasn't happy. And as a matter of fact, I have never been interested in any guy that was married or with someone else. Well you ask, how do I know if he is unhappy? Well another guy I work with told me that they went out one time, and David said he felt tied down. Also, he refers to his wife as "The wife" and not "My wife".

I know it's not right to try to get someone else's man, but I also can't help the way I feel. I know that I will be out numbered on this and everyone will tell me to stay away and find my own man. But I have done that. I have met men in bars and have taken them home just to pretend that I'm really with him. I even have asked if I could call them by another name. I just can't bring myself to forget about him, no matter what I do.

So let me know your thoughts - thanks

[IceQueen]

Is there anything you dislike about him? Do you know him, at all? Or did you just fall for him for his looks?

[busgirl]

WHEW.... girl i was empathetic till you said you meet guys at bars and take them home and pretend they're him. i know how you feel, ive crushed on a married man before. you cant control how you feel. but you CAN control how you act upon it. this man feels tied down because he IS tied down. somebody else feels the same way about him (or more) that you do, except she's his WIFE. imagine how she feels. i know thats easier said than done, but he obviously loved this woman enough to ask her to be with him forever. even if he did leave her and fall in love with you, who's to say that in a couple of years he wont feel "tied down" to you and refer to you as "the wife"? do you really want that kind of man? heres a cliche for ya: when a man marries his mistress, it leaves an opening in that position. and for Gods sake, quit sleeping with random men. especially men from bars.

[LightOn]

You can't forget about him because you can't have him. Instead of picturing other men as him, try picturing other men as being married to someone else. Like busgirl said, (who's to say that in a couple of years he wont feel "tied down" to you and refer to you as "the wife"?) Don't do to others husbands what you wouldn't want done to yours. If he leads you on, you don't have to take the bait...even if you want to. Take his marraige seriously even if he doesn't.

[Amanda]

Thanks so much for the replies ladies. I do appreciate and respect what you have to say. I was expecting you all to call me a dumb bitch.

IceQueen, no there is nothing I dislike about him. (at least not for now). And I have worked with him for almost a year now. His looks are nice, he's not a babe (looks kinda like William Peterson from CSI).

Busgirl, I don't know of any other way to deal with it, than to pretend other guys are him.

LightOn, if he drops the bait, that's what I'm afraid of that I will take it. It would be very hard to not to bite the bait.

[Pretender]

I say stay away from him because a guy that would cheat on his wife will MOST definetly cheat on his gf. Sometimes I wonder why these ladies think they are so special that the guy won't cheat ON them when he cheated WITH them. I don't like guys that can't control themselves. They are pigs. So if you want to roll in the mud go for it.