"Reading" her

[SteveM]

Hey guys n' girls,
Another confused post from me

I'm just asking about how you just "know" a girl is interested if you know she isn't the type to make the first move?

I say it because I met a girl through "friends of friends" if you get me. There was a big gang of people where we were and she was hanging around there with her friends while I chatted with mine and I sort of noticed she stolen a few glances.

Anyway, later on she starts talking with "Hey aren't you ....". I smiled and say, "Yeah, how'd you know?" or something like that and she replied "I just heard about ya". We talked a little after that but nothing major.

Anyway, I met her at a party at the weekend again, she was dancing and stuff and my friends went over so I followed. The night went on, I still get the feeling she *might* see something there because she smiled and waved at me the second she saw me and seemed to move a little closer while she was dancing. Then whispering in her friends ear and stuff. It was the usual party atmosphere, no deep conversation or anything with the music blaring but we had a few words and a bit of fun while we were all in a big group. Later the group split up to get a drinks and stuff like that leaving my friend dancing with one girl while this girl just kinda came and stood near me. Her friend sort of motioned for me to dance with her then but she had a sort of distant look on her then. Anyway, the moment sort of passed then when everyone eventually came back and it sort of took a step back to where we were when we first got there.

What I'm thinking is does she like me because of things like her looking at me when she first saw me, then obviously someone told her who I was. Then theres stuff like the way she noticed me at the party and her friend motioning at me and stuff like that. I won't go into other things or I'd be here all night.

But I can't read people , I'm horrible at it. The more I think about it, I'm thinking do I just "think" these things happened and she likes me or do I just wish it.
I mean we didn't talk all THAT much but maybe she doesn't know what to say like me and she actually looked uninterested when I was about to get her to dance so I didn't but then again, I've been guilty of that kind of thing too when I'm nervous.

How do you tell which it is? I know I sound totally lame but I was pushing myself to get up the courage to ask for a phone number or something as we were all walking away but the whole gang was there and me being me, I was too nervous to ask infront of everyone. I'm new to all this and still find it hard to let someone know I like them.

Like I said, I could go on with the list of things but how do you know if somone is interesting or I'm just hoping, when they seem like me and don't make any move.

Oh, maybe I just need a kick up the arse to stop being so lame and just do something without putting so much negative thought into it or something.

[PandaCivic]

you got the advantage dude! you got ur friends to help you out! if you are shy and don't think you have the courage to go up to her and ask for her number just do what i do. go up to her and say, "hey i know someone that's interested in you and he wanted me to get your number for him." and once you say that, she'll ask who it is and then all you gotta say is "i can't tell you yet, because he wanted me to find out if you would be interested" and depending on her reaction, she might like you more or something but this will get you to talk to her more and eventually you can tell or let her figure out that this "guy" is you. or you can have a friend do the spying and you can plan from there. it's kinda devious but it works for the shy type. if you can risk embarassment and rejection for at least 5 minutes, just get the courage and ask her and pretend you're on a rollercoaster ride for that moment. it's a rush but it feels good. let us know!

[squirrley]

Oh no sorry I dont agree here with Panda. Obviously shes showing some interest...

next time youre at a party take initiative and talk to her casually. You just met. Get to know her a little first before asking for her number-if you were to ask for it right off the bat she might assume your a player. DONT want that! Dont send in your troops either...and dont play the "my friend was wondering" bs line.

Really if youre interested in her-start talking to her at the next party. At the end of the evening if you feel a connection on both parts then ask for her number in a casual way-"hey ya know it was great talking with you...do you mind if I call you sometime?" something like that.

This way youve established something with her-you got to talk to her...and she might not be reluctant to give you her number. Its so cheesy to just ask for a number for someone whom you dont even know...you gotta lay some ground work here guy!!!

Dont worry about rejection at this point-youll never know unless you try-and sounds like youre just starting with this whole asking girls out-do it the right way...

goodluck!

[SteveM]

Thanks both of you, that helped a lot.

I suppose the answer to everything is just "be a man" and just talk to her when I see her next time instead of being so insecure.

Sounds easier than it is when you're there but you just gotta force yourself to do something instead of regretting not doing anything.

Something to think about.