Don't Do The Crew

[MzMuppet]

Hi All,

I recently moved into a new house with about ten other people. I get on really well with most of them. The problem is that I found out that 3 of them have a small crush on me. nothing major. The one guy is really sweet and took me out for lunch the other day and now he wants to take me somewhere on the weekend, it's a surprise he says... it sounds so romantic and he's put so much effort in. The other guy has asked me to go to movies and the other one and I sit til all hours of the morning chatting.

The problem is that I don't want to get involved with someone who I live with, could cause potentials problems. I have a huge crush on one of the guys who stayed in the house, but has moved out now.

I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings in the process and it's awkward becuase they're all good friends. I don't want to lead anyone on and give them the wrong idea but I don't want to put off going out and having a good time in just in case they get the wrong idea.

How do I let them know this without bruising their egos, and how to get the guy I really want without pissing off the others and endangering the whole friendship thing we all have going.

I dunno what to do... PLEASE HELP!!

Thank you..

[sfalexi]

Wow. A girl asking HOW TO FRIEND-ZONE them!

lol. So many ways! (some used on me of course . . .)

Try starting conversations with them about other guys. "I met this guy at the mall that I thought was really cool and I gave him my number. I hope he calls!" "I saw this really cute guy at my job . . . as a guy, what would get YOUR attention? I wanna make this guy notice me so hopefully he'll ask me out." When you keep mentioning OTHER guys and not them, they'll realize that you don't hate them, but just view them as friends.

Give them as little attention as possible and turn down dinners and stuff. Don't be mean and cold, but when you come in the house, say hi, and that's it. And when he asks you for dinner on the weekend, act nervous and say, "No. I . . . have plans." That's a dead giveaway.

Just stay far away from him (once again not in a mean way). Like if he goes to hold your hand or put his arm around you, kinda shy away or gently push it off. Tell him you're not comfortable enough.

Tell him.

Flirt with guys in front of him (not IN FRONT of him, but if you go to a cafe or something, and see a cute guy, go up to the bathroom and on the way back flirt with him). Although that one's a little messed up since you're already out 'with him'.

Just a few off the top of my head.

Out of these, I would suggest using the first suggestion (talk to him ABOUT OTHER GUYS). It's the easiest letdown in the most non-offensive way.

Alexi

[Ironliftr3]

I agree with Alexi's first comment. Start talking about other guys you're interested in, or a date you have set up (hell, make it up if you have to!). Basically, treat them as if they were GIRL-friends.

[bluesummer]

I refuse to live with guy 'roommates' just for this reason. Its a whole lot of hormones under one roof.....you have to know somethings gonna happen somewhere.

I strongly suggest that you date NONE of them unless you are prepared to move out to do it, even if the guy you want to date DID move out already. The other guys will obviously figure out that you guys are together, there will be some bad feelings, maybe fights, bruised egos like you said....not the living situation you want to be in. I say next time, live with girls.

[MVPlaya]

Have sex with all three of them and then say you have a fear of commitments.

[MzMuppet]

hehe... I have no plans to shag ANYBODY in the nearby future. I was recently cheated on and as a result, have decided that I need to be sex-free for a while. well, til it gets unbearable that is.

This guy came wandering into my room last night and told me that he has planned this tour of london for the day and stuff.

firstly, it bugs me that he came into my room in his pyjamas (he did knock first, didn't know it was him) he's getting too familiar. secondly, the alarm bells were ringing but I couldn't bring myself to say no because he looked so happy about it.

I've always stayed with guys, since i left school (not boyfriends, just friends) and this has never happened before.

so you guys reckon I should be friendly but distant then. I'm new in London and don't have many friends here, so any chance I get to leave the house I'll jump at, I just think I may have jumped a little too quickly, giving the wrong impression.

I think I'll let the idea of getting together with the guy who moved out go, don't want to create an uncomfortable atmosphere in the house. there're plenty of fish in the sea right???

Thanks for the input, it's really cool to have some other opinions.