Pretext?

[GrkScorp]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkDwarf

She texted me recently, I replied and then said I had to go. I thought that might fall into the above?

It's a good start.., but just to be clear.., here is how the theory goes:

Human Conditioning:

Step I: I am getting pleasure from (source)
Step II: (source) is gone
Step III: I realize that I am no longer getting pleasure (when source is gone)
Step IV: I want (source) back (to get pleasure again)
Step V: I have accepted this (source) as able to give me pleasure (I like it)

Note: This is why I deliberately stated eariler.., that simply being "unavailable" or "disinterested".., etc.., will not get you anywhere..

If she texts you.., and you tell her that you're busy now.., and that you'll call her back.., then what exactly do you think you're doing? You're not creating any feel-good feelings.., all you're doing.., is just being unavailable.., but there's nothing there for her to miss.., so in effect.., you do nothing when you do this..

However: Imagine if when she text you.., you picked up your phone and called her back.., talked for a little bit.., beyond "fluff-talk".., and it was a fun.., funny.., interesting.., conversation.., and THEN.., YOU had to go.., "bye".., the dynamic all of a sudden changes..

This is what we mean when we talk about "leaving at a high point".., in order to do that though.., you must first create a high-point.., resist the temptation to push the high-point or carry on the conversation.., and then just go..., (seriously.., as hard as it is for you to just pull away.., that's how much more she'll wish you didn't pull away.., and want to continue the conversation later.., and keep thinking about it..)

Also.., when you "leave" at a high-point.., the last memory you left in her mind.., was a really positive memory.., (high point).., of YOU.., and in just minutes.., and then again a couple of hours.., that memory is going to be stored.., learned.., and YOU will be associated with those really positive emotions.., feelings.., & thoughts..., (so.., don't just LEAVE.., but do so.., AFTER a high-point.., which means.., you must first create a high-point.., or else all you're doing is giving up a perfectly good chance to increase the attraction she feels for you)

Fluff-talk:

"Yeah.., haha.., so I went into McDonalds.., and they gave me the wrong order.., ugh.., I didn't care.., i'm still hear finishing up the 6th burger.., just me with my fat tummy.., not going to give up good food.., mmm" (barf.., BORING)

"So.., what are you doing now? Oh.., just watching tv? What are you watching? Oh yeah? I used to watch that show.." (nice one Romeo)

High-points:

"I've been looking at this comedy club.., I'm just bored.., so I wanted to come up with a routine or something and just go up for 5 minutes"

Her: blah blah

"I've only come up with one thing so far.., i've been talking with the guys lately.., about fettishes...., i'm not as bad as a couple of the other guys.., I just have two things that a girl can do to drive me wild.., oral.., and talking dirty.., yup.., that's it.., oral fixation.., and talking dirty.., and not just one or the other.., no.., I want both.., so I know my next girlfriend has to be a ventriloquist"

Her: haha!

"Anyway.., i'll tell you the rest some other time.., I have to go.., call me a little bit later actually.., bye"

Best,

GrkScorp

[Gigabitch]

Gaahhh! When I was 18, I had this mad crush on this guy. He liked me and so did his two friends. He decided to let them take a shot at me first, even though he knew he was the one I wanted so he could let them feel that he was a good "bros before ho's" kind of guy.
Well, it pissed me off. I had to deal with two inept clowns trying to get a date with me. I don't know if they did rock, paper, scissors or what to see who went first.
It was unbelievably insulting to me. I felt like a carnival prize, and it made it very clear to me that this guy thought I wasn't worth staking a claim for. If he had really wanted me, I reasoned, he would have just gone for it.

Please don't for a moment think this girl won't notice when you just give up and wander away. She'll think you lost her in a bet or something.

[DarkDwarf]

Hmm. I don't know though. I have this feeling that she likes my friend more than she likes me. It's just one of those gut feelings.

Hell, I think he might even be going lazertagging with her this weekend.

[DarkDwarf]

Alright, I just talked to a friend of mine and hers who honestly thinks that she is just playing all of the guys that like her. What am I supposed to think about this?

[GrkScorp]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkDwarf

Alright, I just talked to a friend of mine and hers who honestly thinks that she is just playing all of the guys that like her. What am I supposed to think about this?

Don't trust her friend.., common.., do you really think you're the only one comming on a forum to get advice on things? Better yet.., do you really think you're the only one who is going to employ some group-tactics?

For all you know.., a number of things could be going on:

- Her friend likes you and is telling you this to throw you off
- Her friend likes your friend.., and is telling you so it'll reach his ears
- Her friend is just a jealous nottie who doesn't like the attention her hottie friend gets.., and because of her jealousy.., just wants to throw all of you off.., for no other reason that to take away all the attention her hottie friend is getting

Honestly.., there are so many reasons why it could be happening.., something you could tell perfectly by listening to her voice and reading her body-language & facial expressions when she told you that information.., and also.., rationalizing the context it fell under.., and the exact reason becomes crystal clear..

What ISN'T the case.., is that her friend is really playing all of you guys.., think about that for a second.., who's friend is she? Is she your friend.., or is it HER friend? Who do you think she has loyalty to? You or her? Well then.., what do you think would it take for her to find the motivation to crack and tell you this information about her friend? She must have been in some major argument with her friend and is better friends with you.., OR.., the information is false..

It's not that big of a deal to start taking a small mental leap and start rationalizing these things a bit more.., if you're perceptive enough.., you have an orgy of data to work with.., and you more than have the right mental hardware to process all of that data to valuable information you can then use to maintain a strategic informational advantage.. (in other words.., just be on top of things)

Best,

GrkScorp

[GrkScorp]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkDwarf

Hmm. I don't know though. I have this feeling that she likes my friend more than she likes me. It's just one of those gut feelings.

Hell, I think he might even be going lazertagging with her this weekend.

Look.., if you really want to blow his chances.., you can.., in the most subtle ways.., but that would mean that YOU don't really value your friendship with him as much as you value this random girl.., end of story.., and is that really the YOU.., you want to live with at the end of the day?

Sure.., you can destroy any attraction she feels for him.., doom him to utter failure.., and probably end up getting her to grow really attracted to you.., and end up dating her.., and you can more than cover your ass about it.., by planning before the fact.., and use very subtle means to go about it.., to make it almost impossible for a guy like your friend to see what just happened under the table.., but at the end of the day.., your personal identity just took a hit.., you're now as low as he is.., that would make you not only a hypocrite for casting blame on your friend for the dirty & unfair tactics he used.., but it would make you the type of guy to put a girl above your friends.., you don't want to be that kind of person do you?

Best,

GrkScorp

[DarkDwarf]

Alright, thanks for the advice again everyone. I don't know how far it will get me this time, but I'll give it a shot! If all else fails, I learned a whole hell of a lot because of this thread.

[DarkDwarf]

So... she ended up dating some guy who doesn't go to the school that we go to. Supposedly nobody, including her friends, saw it coming.

Anyway, to be completely honest, I know I ought to feel bad about it, but I really stopped talking to her in the past couple weeks. I still feel a bit shocked, but I'm not hung up on it really. The summer is in two weeks and I'm sure I'll find something this summer. If not, there are plenty of fish in the sea. I personally feel like I've cheated you guys out of your advice, as nothing ever happened, but I'm posative (sp?) that I will pull it into other areas of my life.

Thanks guys!

[Cain]

Kill her. That's the only option.

[Gigabitch]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cain

Kill her. That's the only option.

Yeeeeaaaahhh. OR you could go with the whole "no biggie" approach.

Your call.

[Cain]

No, not an option. Kill her.

[DarkDwarf]

Yeah, "no biggie" is looking best here. I'll keep "Kill her" as plan B though!