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Old 06-05-08, 02:12 PM
moonriverlove moonriverlove is offline
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discode this guy pls!!!---dating but not for relationship?
I don't know whats going on in their minds but there are some men only dating but not for relationship? even though everything is perfect. This is really annoying

I am dating with this guy for more than 2 months.. still, no relationship. I talked to him once but it seemed that he tried to avoid this talking and never mentioned again..He said we were just dating!! I am not sure why he is not READY for relationship. Everything is perfect. He himself admitted that we had pretty strong chemistry! And he is not that kind of guy that slow-his last relationship took him 1 month to run into the relationship thing! The reason why no relationship he gave me is that because he probably will go to another city for graduate school, pretty much uncertain whether he could stay in this city..But it seems to me that this reason cannot hold water!! I am Asian and he is White..Because we are interracial relationship, which he is worried about????

Another problem is that we only kinda of seeing each other once per week, eating out and then enjoying a nice evening..during the week, he just text me once or twice..seldom call because he said he was not a call guy nor text guy..

I really have no clue with this. Very very confused!! When we meet , everything is perfect. He treats me very well, takes care of me, and we have long and interesting conversation..I feel that he likes me a lot , not just for sex!! But I am not sure.. feel insecure.. This whole thing are driving me crazy. Should I continue date with him and wait he is ready or just move on?? Or he will NEVER be Ready?
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Old 06-05-08, 02:26 PM
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2 Months should be plenty of time to make up ones mind about venturing into a relationship. It sounds like he doesn't want to be in a serious relationship at this stage because he might be moving to another city. Maybe he doesn't like the idea of a long distance relationship. Sounds like he enjoys your company, but not interested in it long term. If you are, you will probably have to look else where my friend.
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Old 07-05-08, 10:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moonriverlove View Post
Another problem is that we only kinda of seeing each other once per week
I think that is all. You are friends, you are not a couple. Couples try to see each other as much as they can.

Anyway, if you want an attempt of reason, understand this: Women sometimes tend to idealize relationships. They want to live everything's-perfect soap-operas. Life for men is somehow a little more complicated. There are men, like me, who believe that being with someone has —besides its glorious share of benefits— its share (or burden, if you want) of responsibility.

Perhaps, and only perhaps, that's his case too.

My two cents.
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Old 07-05-08, 10:57 PM
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Some men do not know how to start or maintain a relationship, and they are only good at dating long-term. If he is treating me like a date and I wanted a relationship then sex would not be involved. There is not much you can do in this situation but to decide if you want to continue as his date or not, because eventually this dating will end within a short period.
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Old 08-05-08, 12:31 AM
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You're probably one of many girls he's dating but not committed to. Count your blessings- at least he's not lying about it.
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Old 08-05-08, 12:46 PM
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This is really sad.. I haven't experienced such strong click for long time. And he feels the same too! I don't think he is dating many girls cuz he is a quite serious guy, not a player.. He just broke up with his previous long-term girl frd last year..very very serious, almost close to marriage...He said that's also one reason he is scared to rush into a relationship...

From all above, i think he is not a guy just to date for fun... but his behavior right now is confusing me...

It's like SATC... carrie wants a relationship but Big not.. Big just enjoys her company???? Sooooooo SADDDDDD!!!
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Old 08-05-08, 12:52 PM
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no way girl. the more you try to cling to the relationship thing the further away he'll run.

do you guys have sex? i say if he's getting that, he'll continue to perpetuate the illusion that things are so good between you guys and you get along so good.


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Old 08-05-08, 01:59 PM
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i hating to say..but yes.. oh my god..that's tooooo baddddd!!! But when we are together, everything is perfect.. He seems to very care about me, wants to know me more...not just for sex..

I am soooo tired of guessing what's in man's mind!!!
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Old 08-05-08, 02:04 PM
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why are you giving it up to a guy who doesn't want to be in a relationship with you?
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Old 08-05-08, 02:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moonriverlove View Post
I am dating with this guy for more than 2 months.. Should I continue date with him and wait he is ready or just move on?? Or he will NEVER be Ready?
Now.., when you say 2 months.., how many days.., or hours in those 2 months have the two of you actually been dating?

And beyond that.., what part of you (not physically) has he been able to see for himself.., to be able to fall in love with? Has 2 months been enough for him to fall in love with you? Have you shown him the kind of person you are? Has he been able to see the full picture of the kind of person you really are? Have you done anything during those 2 months to create some doubt in his mind? Are you sure he has a good and accurate idea of the kind of person you really are.., your character.., your personality.., your identity.., your interests.., everything? Have you shown how YOU feel about him?

If you feel that he has a good idea about all of that.., and that you haven't really done anything to create doubt in his mind.., and that you've both been spending plenty of time together to get to know eachother well enough.., then it would seem that he is not interested in a relationship..

Best,

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Old 09-05-08, 12:22 AM
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You have a choice, the way I see it, either:

a) accept it the way it is and enjoy it for what it is and not what it is not; or

b) break it off and move on, as it is causing you too much stress.
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Old 09-05-08, 05:09 AM
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Everything seems perfect because you spend so little time together.
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