MVP & L.O.V.E.

[MVPlaya]

Can't seem to do it.

If she's not

• extremely smart
• supermodel gorgeous
• great personality
• driven
• independent
• athletic

then I just won't grow attracted. I tend to just LJBF the girls or... more likely... LJBFB (Let's Just Be **** Buddies)

When I was younger, a cute figure, pretty eyes, and english proficiency tended to be enough. Lately women just don't do it for me at all. Curious too because its easier for me to get chicks now than ever. I'm perfectly content, but I'm not missing the (partial) irony here.

Anyone else on the same boat?

[Killerbabe]

Just wait until you fall in love.

[Killerbabe]

Hmm..on second though there, why do I get a picture of a snotty stuck-up highschool drama/prom queen pretentiously saying: "Oh my God, I'm so hot, you people are all out of my very-superior-league. Just to let you know, thank you, and oh, VOTE FOR ME!" when I read that post?

[MVPlaya]

I don't know, maybe your monitor reflected a glimpse of your face.

I was hoping to hear of someone with a similar situation so that I could see whether its because of:

1. a very outgoing lifestyle
2. extreme time consumption (work and/or school)
3. a phase you go through at a certain age
4. no reason
5. mix of the above

[Breezy18]

I kinda feel the same way, with the exception of "supermodel gorgeous". I mean, I have to face SOME form of reality. All those things in one package are pretty rare. In fact I don't know if I've EVER been really in love. I thought I was, but something was always missing. I think I'm just too picky. I guess I need all of it to continue being stimulated by him, on all levels. I just lose interest too quickly. I hate to think of myself as shallow. That's not it at all. I just know what I want and what I can tolerate. My past bf's have shown me that I cannot and WILL not settle. That's mainly why I am like I am, I guess. Yes......I see myself in a few decades, rocking in my rocker, with a shawl around my shoulders, calmly stroking one of my many cats. ick. Not pretty.

[KillaKatt]

I can relate...
When I first started dating i was going out with all different kinds of guys. Of course I was more interested in some than others, but it was all casual and fun, I was just having a good time.
I think things started to change (meaning I started to get more 'picky') because I was ready for something more serious.
Even if you're thinking that you are young and just want to mess around, maybe a part of you wants a solid relationship.
I used to have a list (similar to yours) of about 5 traits I looked for in a guy. I realize now that the list meant nothing. What I SHOULD have been focusing on and what I urge you to pay attention to is what I definitely DIDN'T want in a guy.
The truth is that a truly incredible "chick" as you put it, may or may not possess all of the traits you listed, but will possess amazing qualities that you never even THOUGHT of.
That's what happened to me whn I met my current boyfriend who managed to make my "ideal" seem ordinary. I'm confident that the same can happen for you. Basically I don't think you should kill all your standards, but I think you should put down your list and be open to new/different qualities that might just blow your mind

[MVPlaya]

Curious how only women empathize with my situation.

The qualities I wrote up there are not a checklist that I go through, they are simply a pattern I've noticed lately. Whereas a year ago I would still be attracted to girls on an emotional level, now I feel very... neutral. I neither like nor dislike attractive girls, they just are. I feel completely disinterested but not uninterested. The situation doesn't bother me because I don't expect or hope to find a real partner while in college, but it seems antithetical to how I used to feel.

[squirrley]

MVP? Youre growing up too! Now-the whole ideal woman for you has changed. No more bar whores...(whew thats a switch.) Youve played til your hearts content. Now you're looking for a partner, a true partner, not one of your **** buddies. Which I find a lot of respect for you now. Youre starting to find the real you too.

I bet as time goes on, you'll start to see women differently, and were not all bar flies. I cant imagine thats the type of woman you want to spend your life with?

Youre also changing...youre growing as a individual. This is a good thing buddy! As you do get older and have experiences you start to see what it is you want out of a woman. Hence the expectations of her. Your ideal mate. (not saying the "Mrs. Right" thing NOT going down that road). But youre starting to shape your priorities and looking towards your future.

hang in there-things will start to look better down the road-Im proud of ya!!!

[MVPlaya]

I've never wanted bar whores for a relationship. I've always had high standards for the women I dated. It was just that I when I met girls I would be attracted quickly and then my interest would drop/level off the more I learned about them. These days, instead of having a mindset of lets "see if she's relationship material" and then testing her out to verify (after which I would date her if she passed, **** her and never call again if she failed), I have a mindset of "I'm perfectly content, why would I want to fit you into my life"? I seem to get more joy from work than from girls. I still go out with my wingbuddies and have a fun time, but its strange because I'm not looking for a girl at all anymore.

[squirrley]

MAybe youre burnt out! The woman in your circles arent conduscive to your lifestyle anymore. You were such a HUGE partier MVP!!! You must be settling down some...

Ok-I know the bar whores arent your relationship material-you have more self respect than that-I think maybe youve just come to a cross roads where youre priorities are different in this time in your life. Need a break. I wouldnt look at it like its a bad thing here...youre evaluating your own life and your wants...and right now its not what you want. Dont sweat it. I think a lot of people go through it. I did. 5 long years. Men did NOTHING for me. I wanted to do it all myself. And I did. But you may down the road find the interest again and want the relationship with a woman, the right woman, and you'll know more about who that person is or what youre looking for in her.

Life can be complicated and confusing at times...but you do get over the little bumps in the road. And the big ones too.

Hey-Im glad youre back by the way!!!

[Killerbabe]

@ MVP

No, it's a flat-screen crystalline monitor, besides you should know by now that I'm far more sophisticated than a highschool drama queen (which I see plently here, in the States).

Anyway, I think that's a very childish/stuck up post. You're saying that you're not attracted to a girl unless she possesses all of the above stated "virtues" - so what IS the problem, specifically? I hardly believe that there are no beautiful, fit, intelligent, driven women in LA - besides, if you're so confident why don't you go for someone famous (there are several very pretty AND smart women in Hollywood)?..

PS - My boyfriend just walked into the room and read your post. He said in between smirking, "Yeah, I can already see that he's a BIG stud, especially that he shares his tactics on the LOVEforum".

(Sorry for editing your post, I though I hit the "quote" button instead. Where IS the quote button?!)

[MVPlaya]

Now where did I say there is a problem, I'm simply curious if anyone else feels the same way, and a few do. As for the beautiful women in L.A., there's plenty of them, but long distance relationships aren't my thing, I think a 5 hour commute is a pretty strong barrier to a relationship. And sadly, no matter where you live, just because well rounded (figuratively and literally) women live there too, doesn't mean you bump into them all the time.

You're probably right that there are a lot of girls who seem to be what I'm looking for, but I tend not to notice them. I can only see if they're hot, the funny, intelligent, driven, charismatic part takes a time to notice and I seem to be more content spending my time working. The general pattern that I'm seeing is that I've gone from extroverted "party all the time" carpe diem to a more introverted kick it with friends, make money, relax. A good time no longer means my favorite club, it means a quiet time with friends. Things seem to have mellowed out a lot and I'm wondering if thats just growing up, getting bored with it all, or being really overworked.

I'm glad you're still throwing temper tantrums, things haven't changed too much.

[squirrley]

at least not between you too...some things change and some things always stay the same!!!

[IceQueen]

Quote:

Lately women just don't do it for me at all.

How about guys?