What If I'm Pregnant.....? - Love Forum

bluesummer · #1 (**permalink**) 12-04-08, 06:56 AM

So, I'm officially freaked out because I'm two weeks late for my monthly problem, and I'm not seeing any signs of it being on the way. I've been late before, but usually only a week, so this is starting to get me on edge.

My bf and I discussed this last night, rather calmly and maturely, and we're not coming to any conclusions until there is a definite outcome. I know that if I was, it would not affect our relationship, and he assured me of that.

It's got me to thinking though....what would I do if I was pregnant? In the few years before this, I would've had no second thoughts....I would've had an abortion. Now, I find myself questioning whether or not I would. On one hand, I'm 28 years old, in a stable relationship, and obviously not getting any younger. On the other hand, I still feel like I have so much to do, so many things to accomplish before having a child. I just went back to finish my degree, which is very important to me to complete, and I don't want to let anything get in the way of finishing it this time. Therefore, having a child would be 'inconvenient' for me right now. I don't know, is it selfish of me to think that way?

Now, there's a good possibility this will turn out to be nothing, but it has really got me thinking about things. It sort of hit me today that I am of that age....most of my friends have kids or have already finished their families. Is it maybe time to start considering this, and not being so selfish about what I need? Am I thinking selfishly?

vashti · #2 (**permalink**) 12-04-08, 07:25 AM

I think you are kind of old to be aborting unwanted babies, and I'd be worried about the lack of time investment you have in this relationship. After all, you aren't even divorced yet. Things may turn out great with this guy, but they may not. I don't usually think it's good to be thinking about long term until a relationship has been around for 1 1/2 - 2 years.

But that's just me. I tend to be pretty conservative with matters of the heart.

bluesummer · #3 (**permalink**) 12-04-08, 07:36 AM

I usually tend to be conservative that way, too Vash. That's why this is so much harder. This wasn't something I was even considering for another three years. I'm moving in (officially) with my bf next month, and I just wanted to take the time to enjoy each other and our life together before we considered anything further. This would really throw a monkey wrench into things for me, and I have a funny feeling he would want me to keep it....both of his brothers are in the process of having kids, and he likes to do what they're doing, soo......ugh.

So anyways on one hand, you're telling me I'm too old to have an abortion, yet my relationship is still too young to consider having a child.........kind of contradictory? What do you think would be the most damaging?

Btw, I found out from the court yesterday that my divorce is a done deal in two to four weeks. So that's really not an issue anymore.

vashti · #4 (**permalink**) 12-04-08, 07:46 AM

I think if you are pregnant (unless you are okay with abortion) then there aren't really any decisions left to make.

Are you comfortable with the idea of abortion?

bluesummer · #5 (**permalink**) 12-04-08, 07:57 AM

No, not really comfortable with it. It's easy to say "Sure, I'll just do it," but in the end, I think it would eat at my soul.

vashti · #6 (**permalink**) 12-04-08, 08:00 AM

It's good then that your boyfriend seems okay with the possibility of pregnancy, then.

I hope things work out for you.

bluesummer · #7 (**permalink**) 12-04-08, 08:22 AM

Let's just hope it's not the case. I was quite relieved though at how supportive he was of the whole idea. He didn't seem freaked out or upset at all.

Again, I'd like to think it's not going to happen right now. It's just good to know I have such a wonderful guy. Actually, I knew that already

misombra · #8 (**permalink**) 12-04-08, 08:26 AM

you're not using anything?

squirrley · #9 (**permalink**) 12-04-08, 10:37 AM

Bluesummer, if youre pregnant, he/she is there for a reason. I became pregnant at 18. I had my whole life planned and a child wasnt in the picture for another 12 years. I had Kyle. I didnt even think about abortion nor adoption, it just was. At 18 thats a pretty big decision, knowing the father wasnt ever going to be around and knowing I was going to be heading up a very long life as a single parent. But I did it, went to college and obtained my degrees.

Having a child doesnt put your life on hold, it makes you grow as an individual. You have a supporting b/f youre older wiser and will know what to do when the time comes to tell. Goodluck!

Mishanya · #10 (**permalink**) 12-04-08, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by misombra

you're not using anything?

+1

I wanted to give an advice, but Vash already said everything I wanted to say

bluesummer · #11 (**permalink**) 13-04-08, 12:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by misombra

you're not using anything?

Yeah, we use protection, but I'm not on the pill anymore. Haven't been in a long time.

We acknowledged from the get go that just using condoms put us at considerably more risk.......but at the same time, we both sort of had this 'c'est la vie' attitude. Not because we're reckless, but I think because neither of us are really horrified at the thought of having a child, given our ages.

Disclaimer: I am absolutely not justifying the use of condom-only sex. I've been on the pill for twelve years prior to this, and have always been responsible.

It's only been in the last year or so that I started thinking if I did get pregnant, it would be okay. And for the past couple of days since we've discussed this, he's been all smiley and beamy at me. I'm starting to think he WANTS this to happen.

Tiay · #12 (**permalink**) 13-04-08, 01:04 AM

yeah I agree that it is okay to just rely on one form of birth control when you've both decided that a pregnancy would not be the end of the world.

so.. in a way, it seems like you've kind of already decided. no?

sexyeyes83 · #13 (**permalink**) 13-04-08, 01:09 AM

if u r pregnant its not the end of the world.

I had my son at 18yrs, he is now 6yrs and the best thing that happened to me. He wasnt planned but I wouldnt change him for the world

misombra · #14 (**permalink**) 13-04-08, 02:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluesummer

Yeah, we use protection, but I'm not on the pill anymore. Haven't been in a long time.

We acknowledged from the get go that just using condoms put us at considerably more risk.......but at the same time, we both sort of had this 'c'est la vie' attitude. Not because we're reckless, but I think because neither of us are really horrified at the thought of having a child, given our ages.

Disclaimer: I am absolutely not justifying the use of condom-only sex. I've been on the pill for twelve years prior to this, and have always been responsible.

It's only been in the last year or so that I started thinking if I did get pregnant, it would be okay. And for the past couple of days since we've discussed this, he's been all smiley and beamy at me. I'm starting to think he WANTS this to happen.

so you're trying to get pregnant?

bluesummer · #15 (**permalink**) 13-04-08, 02:26 AM

Not trying, just not completely opposed to it if it happens.

I'm just having a minor freak out about it because I'm worried how it could affect my finishing school.

If I even am pregnant at all.