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Old 18-05-08, 08:26 AM
Off2College Off2College is offline
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how do I meet Jewish women
Ok, I admit, I'm an Asian male and I have a thing for Jewish women. I have heard Jewish culture does not favor exogamy, but I've met plenty of non-practicing Jews at my colleges, so I'm sure I can find some Jewish women willing to date.

I like Jewish women for their appearance and background, i.e. Jewish women I've met are hardworking. I heard Jewish culture is sort of like Asian culture. Not surprisingly, many attend the Ivy League. The first girl I had a crush on in college was Jewish.

Question is, where can I find Jewish women besides at the Hillel or JCC? But also as importantly, how do I approach one? Like, I mean, I don't even know what Hannuka is and all. What are their expectations in men?

Also, I would not convert if I ended up in a long-term relationship. Is this a major problem?

Help appreciated
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Old 18-05-08, 08:47 AM
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I'm Jewish, so maybe I can help.

Jewish women who cluster together in a way that would make it easy for you to meet them in large numbers usually do so at Jewish events. If they are gathering at Jewish events, odds are they are pretty attached to their religion. If they are attached to their religion, they might date you, but wouldn't marry you unless you agree to raise the kids Jewish.

What they expect of men will vary, as it does with any woman, but you can bet the vast majority will expect you to be educated.

I suggest you take a Jewish studies class at your university. There will certainly be Jewish females there, and you can also learn about Judaism and Hanukkah.

Stay away from the Jewish online dating sites. Women who go there are interested in dating Jewish men.

For the record, Jewish culture and Asian culture share many similar values, and the perception of Asians in the Jewish world is positive. The emphasis on higher education in both cultures is similar. Also, every self-respecting Jew goes to eat Chinese food on Christmas day.
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Old 18-05-08, 08:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vashti View Post
For the record, Jewish culture and Asian culture share many similar values, and every self-respecting Jew goes to eat Chinese food on Christmas day.
I always wonder why Jewish people eat Chinese food on Christmas day.
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Old 18-05-08, 09:03 AM
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I always wonder why Jewish people eat Chinese food on Christmas day.
Traditionally, it's been the only place open on Christmas day. (Chinese people don't celebrate Christmas, either.)

Now that more places are open, it is just a custom - along with seeing a movie.
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Old 18-05-08, 09:33 AM
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Well, I attend colleges that have very strong Jewish communities. But the problem I have is that every Jewish girl I've hit on so far are only into Jewish guys. They are big on religion... I'm not sure, but I'm guessing Jewish women have more obligation to pass on the religion since Judaism is matrilineal eh?

Vashti, do you think it is easy to find non-practicing Jewish women, or are the majority practicing?
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Old 18-05-08, 10:09 AM
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Well, Judaism is not just a religion, but also a cultural identity. This means that even the non-religious may be deeply attached to their culture, assuming they grew up exposed to it. In fact, this is absolutely the case for a large number of Jews. People tend to be more comfortable with people who are like themselves.

Never say never, though. Plenty of Jews are dating and marrying non-Jews.
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Old 18-05-08, 10:21 AM
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If I met a Jewish lady anything like Vashti I'd marry her. Plus, everyone wants to marry a Eurasian guy .
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Old 18-05-08, 10:32 AM
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Of course we do!

I really like the new subtitle, Kiechi. Congrats.
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Old 18-05-08, 10:52 AM
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Of course we do!

I really like the new subtitle, Kiechi. Congrats.
Tov, toda!

Home always sorts my head out.

(Sorry for going off-topic College!)
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Old 18-05-08, 11:51 AM
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No prob. Thanks to all, especially Vashti, for the advice. I'll keep my eye out for Jewish girls.
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Old 18-05-08, 12:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Off2College View Post
I have heard Jewish culture does not favor exogamy, but I've met plenty of non-practicing Jews at my colleges, so I'm sure I can find some Jewish women willing to date.

I like Jewish women for their appearance and background, i.e. Jewish women I've met are hardworking.

Question is, where can I find Jewish women besides at the Hillel or JCC? But also as importantly, how do I approach one? Like, I mean, I don't even know what Hannuka is and all. What are their expectations in men?

Also, I would not convert if I ended up in a long-term relationship. Is this a major problem?
Hmm.., you're not Jewish.., or else i'd tell you to go sign up for the Birthright Israel trip.., that's really where you meet all your Jewish friends..

Hillel is a great bet.., however.., you do get very conservative and what's the word i'm looking for.., "less open-minded" Jewish women there.., if you're not Jewish.., your chances are pretty slim.., so that's not a good place to be looking..

Don't worry.., i'm not all for conservative Jewish women either.., mostly because our political views and definition of Jewish culture is in direct conflict.., and that's ok.., i'm no more "right" or "wrong" than they are.., but the person is ultimately more important.., and you can't have a relationship with someone you not only don't agree with.., but strongly disagree with..

Therefore.., you end up with Russian & Ukrainian women.., or German.., Italian.., and Greek women.., who are reformed.., and liberal.., still very hardworking.., and motivated..

These Jewish girls usually go out with:

- Other Jewish guys
- European non-Jewish guys
- White non-Jewish guys
- Hispanic guys

I have yet to see a Jewish girl with an Asian guy.., though I am certain that these girls would be open to the possibility and idea of going out with an Asian guy.., converting is not a big issue.., you don't have to convert.., under Judaic law.., if she is Jewish.., so are her children.., end of story.., and most reformed liberal Jewish women don't even really care about such things..

What they expect from a guy.., well.., everyone is different.., just because she's Jewish doesn't give you some insight on what she would expect from a guy.., you have to know her as a person to get that kind of information.., though as Vash pointed out.., because of the way you're raised.., you expect to be with someone who is just as:

- Motivated as you to succeed
- Hardworking and dedicated as you
- Educated and intelligent as you

I don't think you'll have any trouble meeting any of those expectations..

Now.., if you're asking about NYC JAPs.., just don't bother.., for some reason they are usually exclusively Russian or Ukrainian.., not even that attractive most of the time.., not even too educated.., hardworking.., or motivated themselves.., all they are.., are women with high expectations.., and and endless list of demands.., that want to date a younger version of their daddy.., they usually look something like this ---> and after they get married they look something like this --->

Where do you look for open-minded women who happen to be Jewish and open to the idea of dating an Asian guy? The same places you look for women who are hardworking.., motivated.., geared towards success.., and focused on education.., of any culture..

- Political Science (law school)
- Philosophy (law school)
- History (law school)
- Economics (business school/law school)
- Finance (business school)
- Accounting (business school/law school)
- Biology (medical school/dental/pharmacy/nursing)
- Chemistry (medical school/dental/pharmacy/nursing)
- Physics (medical school/dental/pharmacy/nursing/engineering)
- Mathematics (business school/engineering)
- Statistics (business school/actuarial science)
- Computer Science (business school/engineering)

These women are hardworking.., motivated.., take education seriously.., and are focused on their goals and success.., a major part of that is personal growth and development.., constantly pushing themselves to their limits.., they're always looking to be pushed harder.., for a challenge.., to be intellectually stimulated..

They don't want a "bullsh*t" class sitting on their transcript.., they won't even be able to sit through such a class.., If there is an insanely difficult class in a certain department.., be certain that you can expect to see a couple of these women there.., if there is a class that looks like a joke.., you won't see these women there unless they have to take this class for some requirement or a pre-requisite for some other class..

So your safe bets are classes under those departments and subjects which are pre-requisites for difficult.., challenging.., and advanced classes.. such as:

- Calculus I (mostly pre-engineering, pre-med, pre-business)
- Calculus II (mostly pre-engineering, pre-med, pre-business)
- Biology (pre-med)
- Chemistry (pre-med)
- Econometrics (I remember taking this.., PACKED with Asian & Jewish women.., because the courses afterwards where Microeconometrics, Macroeconometrics, and Time Series Analysis.., and the pre-req was Econometrics)
- Probability Theory (again.., packed with Asian and Jewish women.., because it was a pre-req for Stochastic Calculus and Mathematical Analysis)
- The entire Accounting major! (you have no idea how many Asian and Jewish women I met who were literally majoring in accounting "instead of taking just two courses in taxation" just so that they would know how to file their own taxes later on and not have to pay someone else to do it.., and to have a back-up and something to fall back on in case things didn't work out.., I remember one Jewish girl (Italian/Russian).., who came from the Eastman School of music.., a music conservatory..., took the major just to have something to fall back on in case she didn't make it with her music.., these are the kind of women you meet in these classes)

Now.., obviously.., don't do something stupid like register for Organic Chemistry just to meet these women.., just take a look at what classes are offered and ask yourself.., "are these interesting and meaningful classes.., or are they bullsh*t classes".., I can tell you now.., the worst classes to meet quality women are "English.., psychology.., or any other crap class that you think is going to be packed with chicks because it's easy".., even if you jump into a Jewish studies class.., and you happen to meet a Jewish girl there.., ask yourself this before hand.., "if she's in that class.., is this the type of girl who is most likely open to the idea of dating an Asian guy? then why did I bother taking this class?"

The anecdotal evidence I like to think about was a friend of mine who took a Woman's Studies class during his Freshman year.., just to meet "hot girls".., the class had about 80 seats.., and when the semester started.., he walked into a class.., with no girls.., only to meet the other 79 guys who registered for the same reason..

Just focus on your own personal growth.., challenge yourself and aim to learn as much as possible while you're still in college.., make sure that every class you're taking.., every credit on your transcript is meaningful and has added value to your life.., is useful to you somehow.., if you have an Accounting or Business course you want to take because you feel it's going to help you later on in life.., guess what.., chances are.., you're not the only one who registered for that class for that same exact reason.., if you want to take Calculus III or Linear Algebra because you're open to the possibility of Business school later on.., chances are you're not the only one thinking ahead.., chances are.., if you're taking the right classes for the right reasons.., you're going to meet the right women in these classes.., people just like you..

And when you do meet these people.., often all it takes.., is them seeing how motivated and hardworking you are.., just like them.., for them to feel that connection and comfort with you.., to finally find someone who shares the same attitude towards life as they do.., you just have to keep your eye open.., and be a little more socially open.., remember.., these people are taking these classes for the same reason you are.., and that reason does not include meeting people or potential relationship prospects.., so unless you keep your eye open and you start up an interaction.., don't expect things to "just happen"

Best,

GrkScorp
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Old 18-05-08, 01:04 PM
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Grk, I have some issues with the way you depict liberal/progressive/reform (not "reformed") Jewish women. Also, I know several progressive, post-college age white Jewish women with Asian partners, also black, hispanic, and arab partners. Haven't you ever belonged to a synagogue? Most of the college kids from our Reform synagogue are affiliated with Hillel, which is multi-denominational. It seems the people affiliated with Hillel are the kids who grew up in a synagogue (ANY synagogue) and had a positive experience with it. A significant number of them take at least SOME Jewish education classes. Maybe things are different back east...

I also disagree with the other list of classes you supposedly wouldn't find Jewish women in. They major in any and all subjects, just like anyone else.
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Old 18-05-08, 09:29 PM
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Grk, thanks for the extensive post, some information was definitely helpful. But I think you went a little far with the classes and majors in categorizing people. I don't think it is true that Jewish girls are set in taking those classes. Indeed, I attend a well-known business school, and I have only found a marginal number of Jewish women in the business classes you have listed. Or actually, I have attended two business schools, the last one was in NYC, and I noticed there were far more Jewish guys than Jewish girls in business.

That said, I appreciate some insights, like the kid is automatically Jewish.

But also, several posters suggest I take Judaism classes; I don't think I'm going to take any Jewish classes, because for one, I am not interested in the history of Judaism. I have read philosophical works on Judaism, but that's as far as my academic interests lie. I like learning more about how Jews live their lives, but I don't think I'll go as far as taking a class. Furthermore, like others have pointed out, girls in those classes are probably more traditional.
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Old 19-05-08, 12:33 AM
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Quote:
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I noticed there were far more Jewish guys than Jewish girls in business.
That's because top tier law schools and business schools are like bars and clubs.., sausage fest..

But aside from that.., it's no big deal.., hey.., get a diversity of input.., and take what you can from it.., it's the marketplace of ideas.., that's the most important thing.., just get ideas.., and take what you feel you want to take from it..

Oh.., and best of luck on finding what you're looking for

Best,

GrkScorp
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Old 19-05-08, 02:53 AM
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thx grk, you're awesome
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