across the ocean to far?

[dave123]

I have a friend, she is 23 and i am 24, i finished university last year and she is nurse, her job is very important to her and she wants to travel around america treating people. i live in Kent, England and she lives in chicago.

anyway we have known each other for about 6 years having met on the internet in an online chat room. we decided to keep in contact and chatted through every medium possible.
we have met a total of four times. our last meeting was in january, i was on business in chicago by coincidence..but only got to see her for a short time, we did get physical for the first time, but not too far.. made out which was amazing.

we decided that a long distance relationship is not possible, and we have our careers to think about.

but i have a problem, in that i can not stop thinking about her. i have not had these feelings for a woman before... nothing comes near. im thinking of her hour after hour, when im about to drift off.. its too much... i have fantasies of her.. and its not doing me any good... i think i write to much to her.. i need to back off. but what to do.. i have my career i have built up here a name for myself. i do not know if i could move to america.. i have poor health sometimes, so am worried about the health care over there...

now i just want at least one more moment with her,, she will find someone else soon, i know she will as she is very attractive and intellectual. we are very different types of people but get on so well.. but what to do, when your heart thumps hard when you think of her.. one more meeting, us being single is all i ask.. i will have no regrets then.. but gee what to do.. bleh.... its touch when you finally grasp the concept of love that was so distant and unknown before...

why are all the girls i meet in england just not as outgoing and fun! i like nerdy girls! but ones that are quite feminine.!!!

[Cain]

Firstly, healthcare in America is fantastic. So, if healthcare is all you're converned about, don't let it stop you from being with the woman you want to be with.

But if neither of you have plans to move to the other country, it definitely won't work.

[dave123]

excellent healthcare, but only if you can afford it.. thats the part im worrying about!!.. but anyway apart from that i should have said/. i was wondering if there have been any posts on here similar to this one! im sure there are but i can not find them.. could i be pointed to any if possible.. i want to find out about people that have made the move.. and see what they are thinking etc..

ahhhhhhhh

[Cain]

There are many companies here that have health insurance included in the benefits package. And if you two happened to get married, her being a nurse, she would have an excellent healthcare package for her and her family.

[dave123]

oh i did not know that its a family related thing! and that you get group health cover!! ohhh nice!

[Cain]

Most of the time, if a husband or wife has health insurance provided by his/her company, the immediate family is covered. So, if the husband has insurance from the company, his wife and children would be covered.

[Sherry Love]

You are thinking about moving to America but isn't it a little soon for your relationship?

You have first met her in a chat room and have gotten together for 4 or 5 times. You know you have feelings for her. But do you know if she has any feelings for you? If she does, then would it hurt for you two to get together for a few more times to see what feelings are there between you two?

It's a little too early for you to worry about moving to America and building up your name and all of that. You have to know if you two will have a future together. 4 dates are too few to know for sure. I have dated my husband for 6 years before I fully know that he is the one for me.

You said you have written to her a lot, but what exactly did you tell her? Did you say that you want to explore this relationship further? Or you just text message her to say hello and how are you, then waiting for her to return your messages?

Just a side note, may be I'm wrong, but is it possible that you can't forget her because she is so much different than the other women you used to meet? If you have met another woman who is also as going as she is, will you feel the same way?

Any way, take some time to see how this relationship goes. May be it's love, may be it's not. You have to find out before thinking about moving across the ocean and worrying head over heels about the health care in America.

Good luck,

[dave123]

i know it does sound crazy.. it really does... and your right it is because she is so different... oh well time wise we have spend yea only about 2 months together, so not very long, when i say move there i mean, spend a few months there and just see what its like. i know even that is not very long, but what else can be done if you find someone in another country that you feel things for... i will try and find someone here.. i know i have to.. but i want to spend more time with "her" as i know i will regret it if i do not...
we have gotten to the level of beyond friendship, becoming physical with each other, she initiated it to, she had wanted it for a long time she said.. and i had to, but i dont cross lines and take charge, which is one of my problems because, you cant get girls by being laid back, which is a surprise too to find someone that can take lead a bit.

i am 24 and have not had any sort of previous relationship, which too must be making her stick to my mind more, i just cant see that i will find someone like she is.. she is quite nerdy yet beautiful, funny, and intelligent, and she says im amazing.. aparently an amazingly good kisser to which was a surprise as i had not kissed anyone before her.... so yea i hear what your saying... i find people hard to trust.. and i would have to spend so long getting to know someone before i trust them. i have always told her everything, she is the one and only person on this earth that knows everything about me, and my weak points, my fears.

its just anoying is all. distance.... thats the bad that comes with getting to know people over the internet in other counties... i wish i could find other articles to read that people have written about their internet pals, and relationships that have taken off from them.. im sure there are hundreds!!!

[hodgo]

well. surprisingly i dont think your so crazy. cos well, i'm 17 and i'm flying to canada from australia all by myself in 4 weeks (28 days!!) to visit a boy whom i adore and have for 6 long years to find out whether he still has feelings for me so if you can hold out for a little longer i can tell you how it went and hopefully offer some advice. but for now i'd say go for it! you just want to go there for a few months to get to know her better, spend time with her and really figure out your next step so what better way to do it! you get to be with her and experience a new country.
so no, i dont think that across the ocean is too far cos hey i'm doing it and to be honest i can't wait no matter what the outcome is and i'm so glad i''ve found someone who would do the same as im doing cos i thought i was crazy!
my whole story is in this section its called really really scared if you want to look.

[tooxshort]

Hey, if it lifts your spirits, I'm married to someone living in another country ... however, she's moving here this summer ...

[dave123]

yea i would love to go there for a few months.. im waiting for her to phone so that i can say i want to go and spend more time with her! even a few weeks...a week if it came to it i would take what i can get...
i just really keep thinking she will find someone soon...

[Cain]

Quote:

Originally Posted by dave123

yea i would love to go there for a few months.. im waiting for her to phone so that i can say i want to go and spend more time with her! even a few weeks...a week if it came to it i would take what i can get...
i just really keep thinking she will find someone soon...

If you and her are meant to be, no one will come between you.