Originally Posted by
okapa 
Grk, I got that, I think I understand, before even reading your post I talked to her and she apologized for everything and she told me she was going to talk to her parents and ask permission to go out sometimes, I was very careful as she started thinking that she would lose me, but all is fine now.
Hmm.., i'm sensing a lot of bad energy from the women after reading that..
Brace yourself for a lot of moral dogma.. and self-serving standards..
But.., not to belittle their point.., it's not just about you all the time.., yes.., you can play on her needs and wants.., her insecurities.., her fear of losing you.., etc.., if you want control and power.., get an attack dog.., be a manager.., but don't bring that into your dating life.., just because you "can".., doesn't mean you "should" do it.., that's why it's called a "gesture".., "even though I could easily bomb the sh*t out of your little nation.., I CHOSE not to.., instead.., let's talk.., like civilized & reasonable people"
The same way you may have some wants.., like for instance.., to date her.., she also has some wants.., believe me.., many many wants.., and one of them.., IS to feel loved and wanted.., not so she can disrespect that "gesture" you give to her.., not so she can take it as some way of exerting control and power over you.., relax.., no.., (control & power isn't a tool for you to have your needs and wants satisfied by the person you're dating.., when you have it.., and you put it on the side.., and never use it.., you have something more powerful.., respect).., but just so she can feel secure and special.. (both safe and good about herself)
I remember reading on some online group somewhere.., titled.., "Bollywood gave me unrealistic expectations of men".., about some fantasies women have (endless btw.., really.., but here are some of the ones that are interesting):
- Even though he knows your parents are a little conservative (will probably kill any boy that comes into their house who is interested in their daughter.., by means of a shotgun or sword fight).., he still comes over.., and when they threaten to disown you unless the two of you are married.., he offers to marry you.., just to fix things
- He comes over your house.., to ask for your parents permission.., to make sure they're alright with you dating her.., and after meeting him.., your parents love him
- He takes you back to his house.., to introduce you and let you meet his parents.., not his erm..
The point is.., she'll do it.., because she likes you.., because she doesn't want to lose you.., but you've also just killed one of her fantasies.., she doesn't want to sit there.., trying to convince her parents on if it's ok to see you or not (because that's an adversarial position.., in which her parents could easily tell her "no").., she would rather have you come in and ask her parents if it's ok (because that's a social-lockdown position.., in which it would be rude of her parents to react harshly.., so they are more likely to comply.., and less likely to say "no" if YOU come over and ask)
If it's too late.., and she's asked them or convinced them already.., then you should really appreciate how much she really likes you.., and see to it.., that you start making her happy.., and start returning the favor..
Best,
GrkScorp
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