Should I fight for her?

[scallop]

I've been seeing a girl for a few months now and I have fallen for her somewhat. However the problem is that she has a boyfriend of
2 and half years and she is finding it difficult to leave him. (no kids involved, they dont even live together)
When I first met her I had no idea she had a boyfriend and there was an instant chemistry between us and we got on really well. I had my
suspicions about a boyfriend but I never asked and she never volunteered it.
Anyway we went out a few times initially - not really a 'date' but we went to watch the football together several times as she really likes
football. This went on for a couple of months - lots of texting to each other until eventually we went out one night and ended up sleeping
together. This was when she then told me about her boyfriend and how she felt really guilty about what she had done as she had never done
this before.
However she said she didn't regret what we did and really enjoyed it and so we continued to see each other. We went out on another couple
of dates since but haven't slept together since due to the fact that we both agreed it not right at the moment - as i also felt a bit guilty about
the situation.
Anyway the situation came to a head last week on her birthday, she invited me along, spent most of the night with me and basically ignored her
boyfriend. She told me the next day she wanted to leave him and had made up her mind.
She went to tell him this a few days later and he took it really badly, begged her and she basically couldnt go through with it because
of how upset he got and she didnt realise how much she meant to him. She says that it wasn't the right time to do it and she wants to wait
a while longer.
I was pretty p1ssed off about this and she wouldnt commit to doing it, and up to now I have put no pressure on her at all - I want her to make
her own mind up, but she has basically gone back on her word.
And so I haven't spoken to her since ( a few days ago) and not quite sure what to do.
I'm determined not to be taken for a ride here and so am not gonna hang around like a doormat in the background for much longer, however I
really like this girl and think she is worth fighting for.
What should I do? Should I act normal? Should I ignore her? Should I show her how much she means to me or should I move on?
Interested to here from some people (particulary females) who may have been in a similar situation. She says she has never done this before
and is finding it really difficult to cope with the situation.
Thanks.

[Mishanya]

What's there to think about? Do you really want to have a relationship with a cheater? Do you think she will think twice about doing the same to you?

[Mathias]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mishanya

What's there to think about? Do you really want to have a relationship with a cheater? Do you think she will think twice about doing the same to you?

Exactly.

What the hell are you doing with her?

[Cain]

I don't understand why people seriously consider this. If she's willing to cheat on him with you, she'll cheat on you with someone else. Do you really think you're going to be that guy that makes her never cheat again?

Secondly, stop being a prick. Do NOT mess with any girls that have BFs.

[okapa]

Well, you could have some fun, putting this from your prespective, but I don't think you'd be able to trust her if you two had a relationship.

At least I'd have some difficulty in believing her after this episode.

Have your fun and leave, don't get attached, that's my advice.

[Cain]

No, don't have your fun and leave. She's TAKEN.

It's that mind set that pisses me off about some guys... they know a woman is in a relationship but continues to try and get a fling out of it. It's the kind of thing that gets your ass beat.

[Bennyzilla]

You shouldn't deal with her. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. If she wasn't commited enough to her BF to not cheat and not commited enought to you to not break it off her her BF then why you think she can commit herself to anything other than her own selfish desires? I know it sounds very movielike, and that you hope she'll just break it off with him and come rushing to you and you'll drive off into the sunset, but in reality things like that don't happen often, if at all.

[bluesummer]

She is a selfish brat and a cheater. Why do you want to be with someone like that? Besides, if she does break up with him, you'll spend the rest of the relationship worrying if she's getting bored and seeing someone behind YOUR back. She is not learning any lessons here, besides she can cheat and use men and they will LET her. Don't allow yourself to be her doormat, my god.

You need to end it with her, and if you STILL want to date her (though I'm really not sure why), tell her she needs to make a decision one way or the other, and that you are definitely not okay with cheating.....because so far your position on all this makes it look like you are.

[tooxshort]

I agree with everyone here. She cheated on her boyfriend as a kick-off to your "relationship." And I know you're dying to believe that you're this special one-in-a-million guy, but real life doesn't play out like a movie; it doesn't end and roll credits once you get the girl.

I had an ex-girlfriend (of 3 years) who cheated on me and, 3 years later, she cheated the boyfriend she cheated on me with! You can't make a ho a housewife.

Oh, and when she tried to break it off with her current boyfriend, did she fail to mention that she was dating you on the side? Because that should've made the break-up A LOT easier on his end.

[Cain]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tooxshort

Oh, and when she tried to break it off with her current boyfriend, did she fail to mention that she was dating you on the side? Because that should've made the break-up A LOT easier on his end.

Yeah, I bet she definitely failed to mention that. If the guy had any self respect, he would never have begged for her to stay with him if he knew she was dating other guys behind his back.