Does The Necklace Mean Something?

[fragglerock84]

Okay well, I'm a 19 year old girl and there is this guy that I like and I wrote him a letter telling him that I like him and maybe we could go out for coffee or out to lunch to talk and get to know each other a little better. He called me and said he wanted to be 'friends for now.' I was okay but a little devastated. But before I got the nerve to ask him out there were times when he come over to our group and while he would readily flirt and give my friends hugs he would either ignore me or lightly tap me on the shoulders or on the small of my back. Then after we came back for our Christmas break he got all of his gal pals a mini pouch with their names on it, but got me a beaded necklace. And one of my friends told me supposedly that he asked her had i worn it yet. So does this mean he likes me or giving me mixed signals because i'm thinking about returning it because i'm really frustrated.

*I do feel really bad about even thinking this. But for me since I'm still hurting from the rejection I don't feel right keeping it. Secondly, being that he is a really flirtatious guy by nature and he keeps ignoring me I figure if I give it back he won't be hurt and will find someone else to give the necklace to. So does he like me and am I wrong to want to give it back?

*Secondly, I've known this guy since like 5th grade, but through the years we've only seen each other periodically. Meaning one year I'll seen all the time, then another year I won't see him at all. So, we aren't even really close...more like casual acquaintances. (I asked him to Homecoming as friends b/c I didn't want him to know how much I liked him at the time and at least once during the dance we held hands. Although I'm not sure if that means he was being nice or if that was a little bit of attraction.)

Look I know a lot of you will probably say just talk to him, but i have this friend who is very fliratious and everytime I try to get my crush alone to talk, there she goes throwing herself on him again so I guess giving back the necklace would be to get his attention on me.

[dragoon]

It's hard for me to tell from what you've said, but I'd think giving the necklace back wouldn't be a good idea. He may be insulted by it, or it could just give a strong message that you're now really not interested. And to be brutally honest, it seems like it would suggest "you won't do what I want? then forget you".

He gave you the necklace before the letter? Maybe the letter just shocked him. I dunno, it's hard to say. I do think him giving everyone else pouches and you a necklace possibly says something. But I also wouldn't put too much weight into it, just incase he has no intentions behind it (maybe he just happened to think the necklace would look particularly good on you).

Try flirting with him a little bit. Surely you can get him alone somehow?

[fragglerock84]

Oh no! See that's my whole problem...if I did decided to give it back I'm wondering if there is a good way to give it back without him thinking that I'm being mean, but rather I just don't feel right having it (I feel this way b/c we are not close friends, if he was a close friend I wouldn't feel this way)

I mean how would you cope with a flirtatious friend?
Secondly, he gave me the necklace after I wrote the letter.

[dragoon]

It's hard to say, this is a situation that doesn't translate too well into forums like this and I'd hate to give really misleading advice. But, maybe the necklace was his way of saying "actually I am interested." Is he shy?

[fragglerock84]

You know I'm not sure, um...like i said before around my friends, especially the flirtatious one I can't stand (she's an attention seeker and alreay has a bf), he very outgoing and flirtatious...but ever since the letter he'd talk to everyone but me, yet he'd touch me on the small of my back! I dunno is ignoring one of the ways you can tell a shy guy likes you? Any more info you need?

[RainyDaze19]

I confronted a guy and told him I liked him, he told me he wanted to be 'friends for now' too. He was really flirtatious and I was under the impression that I liked him. He did act kinda 'cold' towards me after that although he'd make some small talk every now and then, but I acted like I didn't care and I made friends with loads of other cool guys. Now, he's been staring at me all the time or any guy I happen to be talking to, he's so much friendlier and seems much more comfortable in my presence, doing little favors for me, he even interrupted my conversation with another guy at one time.
The problem is: a close mutual friend told me that he's got a girlfriend living abroad.

Do you think he's reacting the way he does towards you because he's already in a relationship, so he doesn't want anyone to know, even if he's actually interested in you? You better investigate on this.
Also, as in my case, he's probably a commitment phobe, and u probably scared him when u gave him that letter. My advice:
Now he knows how u feel about him, if he really has feelings for u, he'll come around to telling u someday.
Meanwhile, don't feed his ego by showing him that u are romantically interested in him from now on. Just be his friend and stay on good terms with him, be more open as a person, and act like you can't care less what he thinks about u.
Show him how much u're enjoying life and other ppl's company (esp. other guys). I'm not telling u to play mind games here, just telling you to focus on everything else BESIDES him and have fun.
He'll come running to u soon after, I promise...