Bf & flirting issues!

[Fawn]

Wow, I haven't posted in here in a long time.

Anyways, heres my problem. Its the end of exam period for my bf. He is on the last exam (which is tomorrow) and its stressing him out like mad. The more he stresses, the more depressed he gets, which entails in me becoming depressed as well.

Now, I'm a big flirt. Always have been and he knows that. So he gets upset or depressed whenever I talk to a guy. He starts thinking "maybe she's cheating on me" and I'm not!!! Now we've only been going out a a bit over a month and a half. So it hasn't been a long relationship. I almost broke up with him once over the fact that I am getting so stressed out with him and my own school issues. I talked to him about the stress issues and the false claims of flirting/other guys.... Now that problem is slightly solved, but I won't know if anythings changed until after exams for him.

Now another problem is.... before my current bf I went out with this guy twice (had sex with him on 2nd date), then decided we'd rather be friends. So, I'm all fine with that. We talk all the time, but now he says he still really likes me. Now I do have feelings for him, I've always had. But its odd because I know were just friends (i have a bf, i will not cheat), and whenever he goes out on a date, I get really jealous. I haven't told him about this unexpected jealousy. I don't think its right, with me having someone and him not. But yet I still get jealous!! *is annoyed by fact of jealousy*

So just to sum it all up. I do care about my bf, but all this stress is driving me crazy? Then to add on to stress is from friend that likes me!! *dies* Why can't I just make a final decision in my head. I don't know what to do anymore!!!

[sfalexi]

Sounds like you need to say 'farewell' to your boyfriend (and the stress that comes along with it) and hook up with your friend.

I think that should solve all the problems.

Alexi

[squirrley]

Fawn oh Fawn dear!!!!

Ditch the stress...ie:ditch the boyfriend. Go out and have fun. Sounds like you still carry feelings or unresolved feelings for the other guy. Maybe you should straighten that out!! Or at least see if what youre feeling is true.

Get out of the wish washy mode...trust me you'll feel a ton better knowing for yourself girl!!!

[Fawn]

Oy! Why do I have so much trouble with decisions.... *ponders*....

I think my main stress is coming from school overall.... ugh... well.... keep the comments coming...

*burns all school books*

I do care for both of them. The current bf just finished exams today, and he's gone to his parents for 3-4 days. So, if I'm still not comfortable with whats going on between us after he comes back, he's dumped.... but then theres a problem with the other guy to, since he's pretty much an emotional reck to start with.... what men i choose....

I think if I do dump this one... I'm going on a dating spree for a while

[squirrley]

yea there ya go...wait and see what hes like when he comes back-a break might be good for you guys. And the dating spree? well have you had time to be by yourself yet? Id definetly stay away from the other guy Fawn-two people who have a lot going on could cause some real friction. Wait til YOU settle down with things and then go for someone...

[Fawn]

Well, before my current bf, I had a month or two of constant dating and "me time." It was great, but it made me feel that I really wanted to be in a relationship again. When I got into this one, it was great at the start, but then exams started for him and school got busier for me. Think it was just bad timing. lol.

The other guy is a great guy, we both have alot in common, he's younger then my current bf, but yeah, he's always had some problems. He's in exam time to so he's stressed to, which is the main reason why he's been messed up lately. I hate exams! lmao! Screws everyone up.

But yes, I agree, since exams are over maybe my bf will be back to his usual self. He's always been a kind person, and was great before the exams started. I can only have faith he'll return to his happy self. If not, yeah, bye bye. And yeah, I'll do some more "me time" if it comes to that.

[squirrley]

goodluck girl!!!

[Fawn]

Boys are confusing... lmao!!

[squirrley]

most are!

Well- find a guy whose got an instructional booklet with him included!!! GO to page 10 and that should help...lol

[Fawn]

Damn I lost the manual.... *goes in search*

[Killerbabe]

Hey Fawn,

You know dumping your boyfriend because he is stressing you out is... not a very mature decision. Because sooner or later you'll find someone else who'll make you happy but then that other peson will have a period in his lifewhen he'll be stressing out too.

And I totally feel for your boyfriend about the whole jealousy thing. Try to understand this, he is not exactly jealous because he thinks that you might or already have cheated on him, per se, but I feel that (being quite jealous myself) he's jealous of the little remnants of feeling you still have for your ex. Sounds selfish when you really like/love someone the thought of them not being totally possessed by you really hurts.

Sorry hun, but I feel that he DESERVES to know that you're not that preoccupied with him, because it's making him miserable. And it's not that he's afraid that you'll cheat on him. I think he deserves to find a person that will be totally dedicated to him (and there are people like that).

About the other guy. Well, I was in your shoes once - I was starting a relationship with this guy but I was still kind of into this other guy I've known before. However, when we broke up 5 months later (throughout those five months I've developed so much affection for him I totally forgot about the other guy) I was very heart-broken. And this other guy never even crossed my mind, even though I had a great opportunity to start a relationship with him. The grass is always greener on the other side. You never know what you have until it's gone.

[Kirsty]

Hey, I think a talk between you and your bf is needed! you both need to know where you stand with each other, let him know your getting stressed because he is, hopefully he'll also realize you have no intention of cheating. I'm a big believer in communication, people can get their wires crossed and communication solves a hell of a lot. I have to look at things from your bf's perspective, he's feeling stressed, not his fault, dont you think just dumping him, for it would be a bit unfair? He needs to sort his paranoia out, of course. but try working things out... before any rash decisions.
As for the other guy, you agreed to become friends right? well there must have been a reason for this, and nothing will have changed, so maybe friendships, only what that relasionships meant to be.. you also need to talk to him, and sort your jealosy out. At the end of the day this is gonna be your desision, but tred carefully, you dont wanna hurt anyone too much... (sorry if i'm brutal, I just like saying what I think) Good luck with whatever you do, and I hope i've helped a tiny bit!

[Fawn]

I've talked with both of them. They all know whats happening. I think I finally decided in my head that I do care alot about my bf, so I'm going to be with him. The stresses of exams are over, now its just my stress of school, but we both agreed to talk about everything and anything that bothers us.

The other guy has gone back home. So I won't see him for a month and a half. So now I can just focus on my boyfriend, which I intend on doing.

Its odd. Its as if my feelings are slowly coming out for him, as if my mind and my heart are telling me to take it slow, so I don't get hurt. But all in all, its going pretty good write now, so all I can do is keep things on track and go one day at a time...

[Kirsty]

yep thats the way to do it! I'm glad that things are becomming a bit clearer for you! good luck!!!