too self-sacrificing?

[starbuck]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gigabitch

Starbuck- stay strong! You're still high from the Big Surge of breakup energy- the danger point is still to come. Do yourself a favor and cut contact with this guy. He'll catch you in a weak moment and worm his way back in.

Stay here on LF. People here are very committed. You'll find the support you need here.

Thank you Giga, I have been enjoying the Love Forums. They've really helped me get my mind off this guy. I saw my shrink yesterday, and she said that I had a "lightness" about me that she hadn't seen since she's started seeing me.

And as of now, he's blocked from my AIM and msn, I took him off myspace and facebook, and his emails go right to the trash. I also told my friends that know him to refrain from telling me anything about him, even if i ask.

I was even thinking of photoshopping a picture of a sloth onto his face to remind me of how lazy he is. He could win a guiness book world record for laziness. Except you'd have to roll him over and stick the award in his back pocket

Plus a sloth is too cute for him

[misombra]

good for you starbuck. a brain injury is a serious thing. people lose part of their brain. but the other part is he damaging himself with all that pot smoking.

part of it was the accident, part of it was him. i know a person very well who had a brain injury from falling off a roof when she was a kid. she lives a normal, organized, non-problematic life. she can't read or write well but she still reads and works on it anyway.

people have challenges to overcome. he was too lazy to try. that simple thing destroys relationships.

[clearskies]

Just to mention a little story about someone I know. She asked for divorce and got it while leaving her rights behind and started to support on her own their two little kids. Why did she ask for divorce? Her husband who was a bit nervous guy had a bad car accident which affected on a part in his brain. He became increasingly jealous, nervous and turned mad to hit her every now and then. She did not bear with it and preferred to be a divorced woman with 2 kids.. what do you think of what she did?

After seeing your picture, I was curious what you are doing on here.

Well now that you're getting things straightened out, let me be a friend and remind you that you're a very beautiful woman, with a wonderful job and life, and you deserve much more.

Good luck with your next relationship

[IndiReloaded]

Quote:

Originally Posted by clearskies

Just to mention a little story about someone I know. She asked for divorce and got it while leaving her rights behind and started to support on her own their two little kids. Why did she ask for divorce? Her husband who was a bit nervous guy had a bad car accident which affected on a part in his brain. He became increasingly jealous, nervous and turned mad to hit her every now and then. She did not bear with it and preferred to be a divorced woman with 2 kids.. what do you think of what she did?

I think she protected herself & her kids and made a good decision.

[Frasbee]

Yes, you are too self-sacrificing.

He can survive without you.

[clearskies]

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndiReloaded

I think she protected herself & her kids and made a good decision.

I also see she was right to bring her kids on her own away from him. But just to mention, he spends on them and insists to see them. That is why I dont see him as the very bad guy.

[clearskies]

Quote:

Originally Posted by anachronistic

After seeing your picture, I was curious what you are doing on here.

I am not sure what do these words infer?

Is this forum for ugly, old peolple or teens only? I imagine it is open for all.

Idiots believe it is only for desperates, which i do not see it right. Although we waste a good amount of time on it which should have been saved for more work tasks, we are still here.

[starbuck]

Quote:

Originally Posted by anachronistic

After seeing your picture, I was curious what you are doing on here.

Well now that you're getting things straightened out, let me be a friend and remind you that you're a very beautiful woman, with a wonderful job and life, and you deserve much more.

Good luck with your next relationship

Thank you anachronistic. That is sweet of you. And to answer your question, I came here because I was in a bad relationship, completely in denial about it, wouldn't listen to my friends and family, and wanted to get an unbiased opinion about my situation. I was interested in seeing the POV of people who didn't know me. So I couldn't just rationalize that those folks were being overly protective of me.

I stuck around because I need a swift kick in the pants when it comes to relationships. I tend to be the "hopeless romantic" type who settles with men who aren't right for her, and I'm effing tired of this pattern. I know this is something that needs some serious fixing in my life. Seems like I'm a smart girl in every other way, but I flounder in relationships. I can dish out good advice, but can't take it myself, and I want this to stop. (If one of my best friends had been in a relationship like mine, I would have told her to dump him, too.)

And yes, I do deserve much more than a lazy stoner who tried to pull on my heartstrings instead of manning up and getting a job. I'm happy to say it's been one week since I broke it off with the sloth, and I have had absolutely NO contact with him. I also paid off any debt associated with supporting him for 4 months. So clean slate time!

[clearskies]

What i have seen from personal experience is that good people attract losers and twisty guys! Naive frank faithful loyal attract cheaters, jobless miser liars..
Starbuck, I share with you what you feel now. Wish you good luck in the future relationship. I do say that to myself too.

[Pears]

I like successful stories. It took a lot of strength and courage to break your relationship and you did it.

When dating someone, I have to make sure that he's happy with himself, respects himself, and can take care of himself in all ways. When you find someone like that, you generally have less problems.

[Pears]

Quote:

Originally Posted by clearskies

What i have seen from personal experience is that good people attract losers and twisty guys! Naive frank faithful loyal attract cheaters, jobless miser liars..

You make as much sense as a rock.

[clearskies]

I would like to add something related about a book I have read years ago, after which i subscribed to a forum, both carry the same name of 'Women Who Love Too Much' .
These are all about women who are in real need of love and starving for affections due to many reasons. Family and way of bringing are one of the top of the list that make her search for love anywhere. What is related here is that, this type of women, who are always sacrificing in these relationships, either fall for the wrong guy or attract losers. This book included a saying I will never forget beacuse it was completely opposite to what my ex was saying. The book denies and rejects the saying of partners (TwO) becoming OnE. The authors said they should still be two.

[starbuck]

Quote:

Originally Posted by clearskies

What i have seen from personal experience is that good people attract losers and twisty guys! Naive frank faithful loyal attract cheaters, jobless miser liars..
Starbuck, I share with you what you feel now. Wish you good luck in the future relationship. I do say that to myself too.

Actually, clearskies, not all my past relationships have been with jerks per se, just people who weren't right for me. My ex before the sloth was one of the sweetest guys on the planet, but still not right for me for various reasons.

That being said, I know that the answer to the problem is within me, and that these are patterns that I can fix.