Help Me!!! - Love Forum

StupidMan · #1 (**permalink**) 09-07-08, 04:45 PM

Hi all, first of all, i would like to share my stories.

i have been working in a company for few months.. I am so stressed because of low pay, and its my first job. My girlfriend is a twins. Both girls. her twins also got a boyfren. All the 4 of us jump into working in the same period as all of us are at the same age. Sadly, my salary is low, i cant imagine what kind of future i will be having.. I am so pessimist at that time. As my girl friend are twins, i notice that there is a background challenge that my party cant lose to another party. And indeed, her sister's and the Boyfriend's salary were up high.. at the same time, in my company, there comes a girl like me.. but i truly dont love her at all.. i am sincere to my girlfriend.. But i dont want my girlfriend to suffer with me in the future.. so i made an act.. I broke my girlfriend, and spread the words that i like the girl in my company...

Everybody hated me.. her family hated me to the core.. her friend looks down on me.. But 1 day her friend come to talk to me, and i reveal the truth, as i am really in torture too... when i finish talk her friend, she wakes me up. And i turned back already!! but things went to late.. its been 2 weeks since i broke her up, and she just cant get back to my sde anymore.. She dont trust me, she dont have the confidence in me...

But deep inside, we still love each other. Everybody were trying to separate her with me.. But all i can do was accompany her for lunch everyday whenever she could although our working location is different, but i rushed to there everyday.. I want to prove that I am true to her.. But she changed already… She is not the one that rely on me anymore.. But its ok, I am confident that I can win her back into new relationship. But my bad habit was I am too pessimist and keep thinking bad things.. At the moment, there is a guy that is getting close to her. But she did say that she don’t want old relationship yet she don’t want to start new relationship at the moment. But she still care me.. As time goes by, we went to attend a fren’s wedding party. That was my first time drunk and she didn’t even come to talk to me or care me.. Maybe because of her frens that Is separating her or maybe she just don’t want…

One day, I saw a guy come and pick her up, and I call her, I ask “you have a guy courting you is it?” she reply yes. Then I was so heartbroken, and I attempt suicide.. But fail and end up lying on hospital for 1 day. That day, she didn’t come and visit me, not even a call for me. Her family change her number.. But my relative manage to call her. My relative told me, she cries that day and saying that I am so selfish, if I die, what will she do??

Just when I wanted to let go of everything, she say such words and revive me again. But now I am out of hospital, I cant contact her at all. So I just can only email her.. she told me that don’t misunderstand about the guy.. she still want to be friend with me.. She say she don’t know she can accept me or not, and her family can accept me or not.. She don’t even know what to do with me. So at the moment, we just contact secretly via email.

So, please tell me, what must I do? I don’t want to give up. I love her so much!!! But everybody keep saying, I must let her go, I am making her suffering… because her family is keeping her very strict.. everybody is watching on her very tight..

And judging by her words, does she still love me?? I am so confuse, don’t even know what to do.. yet my bad habit is thinking bad things, and keep making me doing mistakes.. that’s why none of my friend are willing to help, as they see that I am not worthy for her.. And her family also hated me.. But I always wanted to try, and I believe love can melt down all kind of ice.

Cain · #2 (**permalink**) 09-07-08, 04:51 PM

You might be able to get better pay when you learn how to speak English.

StupidMan · #3 (**permalink**) 09-07-08, 05:11 PM

Sorry if my english was terrible.. but i really need help.. must i let go or must i persevere?

Cain · #4 (**permalink**) 10-07-08, 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StupidMan

Sorry if my english was terrible.. but i really need help.. must i let go or must i persevere?

Well, first of all, you need to stop making stupid decisions. If she felt that being with you wasn't the right thing to do, SHE would have made that decision. She didn't need you to do it for her. You need to realize that money isn't important so much when someone is in love.

All you can do right now is wait. Don't chase her because you'll push her away. If you still love her and will get jealous if she dates someone else, don't talk to her much. If she's going to come back to you, she's going to do it because she wants to... not because you convinced her.

luvispower · #5 (**permalink**) 10-07-08, 02:16 AM

stupidman can i ask, are u a malaysian? just curious cuz i am one.haha.

my advice is find a job with a better pay, then u can overcome your negative thinking and the same problem will not happen again.

Darkest Heaven · #6 (**permalink**) 10-07-08, 04:55 AM

She doesn't want to deal with your BS, and doesn't want to carry the guilt if you end up killing yourself, so, she's playing the friends card. Chances are she's lying about your number being blocked to keep minimum contact with you.

StupidMan · #7 (**permalink**) 10-07-08, 09:12 AM

Mr.Darkest heavn, i dont quite understand about your last sentence... and also, she is playing friendly card for what? does that mean she still love me?
The thing is that, her ear is very soft.. everybody just mumble a little at her ear, she will act accordingly... that really irritate me...

I am indonesian chinese...

Mishanya · #8 (**permalink**) 10-07-08, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StupidMan

Sorry if my english was terrible.. but i really need help.. must i let go or must i persevere?

You should leave. You've cause her enough heartache. She wants you as a friend because obviously she values you as a person. But she doesn't trust you. Make it easier for her and just let her be.

StupidMan · #9 (**permalink**) 10-07-08, 09:56 AM

Ms.Mishanya, but i love her so much.. i wanted to take responsible of everything.. i am the one hurt her, so i must be the one to heal her... i dont know why i cant leave her.... its hard... i realy cant find a way to be her friend u see.. but she wanted me to be friend, and i can see that she isnt giving up, so why must i?? i mean, i already did the stupid thing by breaking her up before.. now if i let her go again, isnt it the same with the stupid thing i have done? i wanted to persevere and believe that i can, believe that love contain greatest power...
isnt it should be like this?

Cain · #10 (**permalink**) 10-07-08, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StupidMan

Ms.Mishanya, but i love her so much.. i wanted to take responsible of everything.. i am the one hurt her, so i must be the one to heal her... i dont know why i cant leave her.... its hard... i realy cant find a way to be her friend u see.. but she wanted me to be friend, and i can see that she isnt giving up, so why must i?? i mean, i already did the stupid thing by breaking her up before.. now if i let her go again, isnt it the same with the stupid thing i have done? i wanted to persevere and believe that i can, believe that love contain greatest power...
isnt it should be like this?

Dude, you screwed up. She doesn't want to be with you. Drop it and move on.

StupidMan · #11 (**permalink**) 10-07-08, 10:05 AM

must i really do that?? its reallly hard. i am just too stupid before..

Cain · #12 (**permalink**) 10-07-08, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StupidMan

must i really do that?? its reallly hard. i am just too stupid before..

Do you really think that pushing this is going to make her want you again? Your mindset is wrong. You screwed it up and she doesn't need you to make her better. Walk away.

Mishanya · #13 (**permalink**) 10-07-08, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StupidMan

but i love her so much.. i wanted to persevere and believe that i can, believe that love contain greatest power...
isnt it should be like this?

Look at it this way. If you love her it means you care about her and you want her to be happy and leave a happy life, right?

It looks like at this point in time her happiness doesn't involve a romantic relationships with you. She only wants you as a friend. So if you really love her, you will grant her her wish and let her find happiness without you.

StupidMan · #14 (**permalink**) 10-07-08, 10:39 AM

forgot to say.. i am not wanting to go back to old relationship. What i mean is a new brand a courting her again... a new relationship...

So, Mr.cain or everyone, stil must i let go? without trying?

Cain · #15 (**permalink**) 10-07-08, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StupidMan

forgot to say.. i am not wanting to go back to old relationship. What i mean is a new brand a courting her again... a new relationship...

So, Mr.cain or everyone, stil must i let go? without trying?

Duh? It's obvious you can't get into the old relationship because it's already over. But she doesn't want a new relationship with you either. Take this as a lesson and learn from it.