boyfriends exgirlfriend in nursing home

[that girl]

hello girls and guys, my boyfriend has an ex who is in a nursing home, she has been there for two years because of a stroke he some times cry about her being in there, he wants to bring her to his house to sit and look at tv like they use to do or take her for a ride, which is alright if there was not anyone in your life, any way i have to leave and go home when he does this. people tell him that is not good and that ithe needs to go on with his life, he insist in doing this and iam starting to feel like the other women at times. he tell me that im his one and only love but i feel like iam competing with a ghost or something. someone please give me so feedback.that girl.

[squirrley]

I dont know how much you want to hear or face-but youre looking for something I think you already know the answer to...

Heres my opinion only: First your boyfriend has NOT let go of her-if she hadnt had this stroke they may still be together. Im not saying he doesnt love you-obviously he does carry some feelings for you-but from an outside view here hes holding on to HER.

His friends are right-he shouldve let go of her a long time ago and moved on-but for whatever reasons has not been able to-hence youre in the second fiddle situation here and will be as long as you allow it. You either have to tell him this isnt working for you because of :list your reasons and hope he'll move on without her OR YOU make the decision yourself to end it. IF you cant be NUMBER 1 in his life-then you might reconsider just how important you are to him.

Isnt that a huge RED FLAG to you that he STILL brings her home???? He hasnt let go of her or them. Youre there for other reasons-personally I wouldnt have that-its fine to be understanding and compassionate but youre being walked on...and used.

I dont know what else to say in this-because Im NOT in your shoes...it must be difficult seeing you love him-but are you really truly happy?

[that girl]

yes i know i feel sort of strange about this, and i been hoping that he would let go and start living again but it seems that this will contiune until she die or who every comes first. I thought that i could bring some sunshine into his life but he only walks around like dark cloud. I do love him but it is getting kind of hard to do to the point that I don"t know what to say about this to him anymore. he says that he wnts to be with me forever, but I know that this will not workout if I have to keep going home so that he can bring her over.