not in love

[clare_b]

my boyfriend and i have been together for a year. we're a great match. we share a lot of interests,chemistry is great, we practicly live together, do a lot of things together, hang out with mutual friends, we've met our families...looks like everything is perfect.

problem is he's never said he loved me. i have. when i ask is he at least in love with me. he says no. he's doing wonderful things to me,treating me like a princess,like a dream boyfriend. so i know you gonna say: acts count not words. but something is just not right... imagine hearing:i don't love you and i'm not in love with you! it hurts terribly. is he scared,lying,in denial,or what?!

we're in our late 20'. i'm sure he's not cheating. and he's been hurt by his ex a long ago,but i don't think he has feelings for her,though he said he did love and was in love,i'm the one who's the best for him. i'm not pressuring him to say anything,i just occasionaly ask because i want it to be serious. his answer is always the same. what is he doing with me then? should i be patient or dump him?

[starbuck]

It sounds like he is scared to say it. Perhaps he is afraid to trust this relationship fully out of fear of getting his heart broken again. Whatever the reason though, I think he should realize that it is emotionally irresponsible to hold back in this way, especially when you both have invested so much time in the relationship and met each other's families. You have every right to feel frustrated by his refusal to express what he probably feels.

If I were you, I'd have a hard time staying with someone if he continued to be emotionally elusive. Maybe he needs to know how close he is to losing you over this. His behavior is great, but communication and expression are also important. If you're not getting this part of the deal, then you have a right to feel like perhaps you should move on and find someone who will give you both the actions and the words.

[Charlie Boy II]

Maybe he doesn't want to say it because he doesn't love you. I've been in this position before, and my reaons for not telling the girl I loved her because I actually didn't.

Also people have different concepts of love. I used to think it was only appropriate to say it when you saw yourself spending the rest of your life with that person. Except it caused so many problems, I relaxed my own definition to mean somebody I cared a great deal about.

[Dasein]

Quote:

Originally Posted by clare_b

when i ask is he at least in love with me. he says no.

If I was in this situation I don't think I would stick around. If we are in love we want to hear it back to us right? He may be nice but what is a relationship with unrequited love?