Saviour needed....

[ClueleZZ]

I'm in a relationship with a girl for quite a while. Everything is going fine, we love each other very much and I'm pretty sure with that. For about a week our relationship has become a long distance relationship, since I have to go back to Europe while she's living in Asia. A sad fact for us, but we're still hoping that this relationship will last.

I miss her a lot, sometimes the feeling is unbearable, but live must go on. I also have a lot of doubt in my mind.... I feel that I'm not needed by her, there is not much give and receive in this relationship, I feel more like I give and she receives (not matters but efforts). It was not the case in the begining of our relationship. Our efforts we're 50/50, but after few weeks her effort has lessened, now it's like 70/30, 80 from me and 20 from her. Does she feel that our relationship is secured so she doesn't do much anymore? (Once I asked her about her commitment in our relationship, she was upset, she felt dissapointed because she thought I doubted her love. We have resolved this matter) What is going on?

Another matter that buggles in my mind is that how long this relationship will last... She's a stubborn girl, an only child just like me (And you probably know how stubborn an only child can be), often I see a reflection of me in her. She rarely listens and doesn't say much about her while I'm a man with few words and not a good listener too. I'm afraid that this relationship doesn't last. I know to make it lasts we've got to have something in common, like interests. We do have some common interests (We are both in to graphics, she likes to draw comics and I'm in to computer graphics) but it is difficult to share it from 16000 Km's away. I'm trying to improve our communication, but I don't know wether it will work. Usually when we're on the phone we don't say much either, usually we talk only about stupid jokes, how much we love & miss each other and some peptalk, but nothing about ourselves. I'm trying to change that but it will need some time and I'm clueless here with what to do next.. what should I do? How can we enhance our relationship? Please give me an advice on this. Thanks.

[Justinfirelake]

First you need to post this in the dating forum.

Second if you love her never let her go you will regret it for the rest of your live.

[Justinfirelake]

But then this is just my perspective on the situation.

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Tricky. Well, I've pretty much been in every kind of failing relationship and I can tell you that there is a hope here, yet it is very small. Of course the best thing to do in any instance when you aren't happy is to let it be known. If you can't tell her all that you've written here then your communication has already failed. If she is offended or shocked just make sure she knows that what you have is important to her and you're just afraid to lose one of the greatest things you've known in this world. Lost oppurtunuties and missed chances are what true hell consists of. If you let things deteriorate there will always be the what if. Then again you may try your absolute best but in the end lose her. I've said it before, but love is a game best played with the heart. Follow your emotions and do what you feel is necessary and what is in your best interest. If unhappiness if what flourishes, it isn't a relationship, its a prison. This is just what I've learned in my experience with losing people close to you. Never let slide what ails you and be sure to assure happiness in the hearts and minds of both parties. Only then will any action be of any meaning. I hope that helps.

[Illusional]

well long distance relationships are always the hardest. being that communication will be the only thing that keeps the two of you together, you're definatlely going to have to improve this.

it seems that if she's not trying, i don't see why you would want to stay with her? why would you want someone that doesn't want to give you the same respect in return? however, if you previosly seen that she treated you with the same feeling that you longed for, then by all means keep trying. as for the communication, if she's not willing to open up, you're going to have to make the first move. tell her how you feel because she probably isn't looking out for your feelings. she's across a continent, and you're conversations aren't the best, so it's likely that she's not bothering to look at how you're feeling, you're going to have to express them to her so she can see things from your eyes. raverboy