Please help I feel messed up - Love Forum

shenmue · #1 (**permalink**) 14-06-04, 12:08 PM

hey all- got a problem here-

about six months ago- after some terrible agonizing heartbreak {that Jane really helped me out on} I found a gf and fell in love. We have always gotten along great and been good to each other. I was a virgin, and she was my first time, but she has been with a LOT of guys, she's told me it's under 50 but it's a high number. She also did a fourway with 3 other guys. I didn't like hearing that of course but it was in the past and I already loved her.

Things were going great till a little while ago, little over a month, and at that time she had started talking to her ex again, she insisted that it wasn't romantic, but she had told me how mean he was to her and I didn't like her talking to him, it didn't feel good as you can imagine. She said she didn't want to be mean to him, that she doesn't want to be mean to anyone, and that there was history there.

She also sprung it on me early on that she'd be leaving for college far away, and that bothered me cause I wanted her to stay, but her mom wanted her to go and she seemed to be listening.

So then I decided I wanted to break it off with her. I told her and she started screaming and crying, it was agonizing to listen to it, she kept apologizing and saying she wouldn't talk to him again and that she'd quit school to be with me if necessary. She was crying so hard, she seemed to be in terrible pain, to this day it's hard to think about that.

So I gave her another chance, but lately I've felt like I don't want to be with her anymore, I don't feel as attracted to her as I used to. I'm around other girls now and I feel like I'd rather try it with one of them.

But I do believe she genuinely loves me, and has apologized like crazy for what she did. she got a different job to have weekends off to be with me, and wants to be together all the time.

I am just EXTREMELY attracted to these other girls I'm around, and it bothers me, I feel like a superficial pig. I don't want to hurt this girl, she used to cut herself when she got depressed and upset and she might go after some other guy who's bad for her. I know I should feel lucky to have someone who loves me, and I honestly do. I just feel kind of tired of her in a way and would like to date other girls. What should I do?

Nice Lover Boy · #2 (**permalink**) 14-06-04, 01:08 PM

Bro, this is a hard situation. By the way that your describing her feelings towards you to stay with you sounds as if she loves you. But when she was telling you that she has "been around tha table like a salt shacker" would mean trouble. When she was telling you this, was she smiling, gigling, and smurking at you? If so, she probably wanted to see her bad girl side, but in a way, it has turn you off. But dude, if she leaves leaves far away, what makes you think that her hormones would want when she is feeling "freaky"? Bro, I hope someone in here could give you better advice because if it was me, I would pretend as if we were still together thinking that she would give it up to soem jerk and give the girls(that are around you) a chance. But that's just me because I am a sex machine, lol.

MVPlaya · #3 (**permalink**) 14-06-04, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shenmue

I just feel kind of tired of her in a way and would like to date other girls. What should I do?

Well, consider the following:

Quote:

Originally Posted by shenmue

She has been with a LOT of guys, she's told me it's under 50 but it's a high number. She also did a fourway with 3 other guys.
Quote:

Originally Posted by shenmue

She had started talking to her ex again, she insisted that it wasn't romantic, but she had told me how mean he was to her and I didn't like her talking to him, it didn't feel good as you can imagine. She said she didn't want to be mean to him, that she doesn't want to be mean to anyone, and that there was history there.
Quote:

Originally Posted by shenmue

She'd be leaving for college far away, and that bothered me cause I wanted her to stay, but her mom wanted her to go and she seemed to be listening.
Quote:

Originally Posted by shenmue

I told her and she started screaming and crying, it was agonizing to listen to it, she kept apologizing and saying she wouldn't talk to him again and that she'd quit school to be with me if necessary. She was crying so hard, she seemed to be in terrible pain, to this day it's hard to think about that.
Quote:

Originally Posted by shenmue

But I do believe she genuinely loves me, and has apologized like crazy for what she did. she got a different job to have weekends off to be with me, and wants to be together all the time.
Quote:

Originally Posted by shenmue

She used to cut herself when she got depressed and upset and she might go after some other guy who's bad for her.

and finally...
Quote:

Originally Posted by shenmue

I'm around other girls now and I feel like I'd rather try it with one of them...

I just feel kind of tired of her in a way and would like to date other girls. What should I do?

She's a headcase. Pure and simple. She needs help, but having her cling onto something that isn't there is really not going to do the trick.