FULL Disclosure?

[jslaughter]

So last night in the midst of the "laid off" debacle, Paul was hanging out at my house, and we started talking about Peter and where that relationship is going. During the course of that conversation he asked if I had told Peter about my son - I said I assumed that Peter knew as he was around then, is Paul's brother, etc. Paul said he was sure Peter had heard something about it but may not have put two and two together to realize that it's me. So at what point do I need to tell him?

I really care about him already, but we still haven't agreed to not see other people. (Don't get me wrong I'm not and don't think he is either, but there's been no "talk.") When do you have to lay that stuff out there?

There are some things I will NEVER tell anyone - I won't talk about numbers but the fact that there's a child in my life that could pop back up in 16 years wanting to get to know me - well that's something I need to tell him, I know but when.

I was also a bit shocked when Paul told me that while he didn't know if Peter knew or not, their mom DOES know. Why would she ever want me for her son knowing that I had a child without being married? It's like she knows the worst thing about me before she's ever gotten to know me. (She actually asked Paul if they (her and Paul) should be worried about this yet - what does that mean?)

How screwed am I?

Jules

[squirrley]

Youre not screwed Jules. You did what you thought was best for your child at that time. Im sure their mom in todays' society would have already figured that one out. Granted it was before marriage, but its not so looked down upon anymore. You are a VERY strong woman to do what you did, and I give you a ton of credit for making probably the hardest decision of your life.

As for tellin him, I probably would when things get serious. Theres no need to tell him right now, its not that you dont trust him or anything, but thats got to be a very personal thing that you just dont share with someone youre casually dating at the time. Give it a little time yet. When you two decide to become a couple, then sit down one night and tell him your story. I have no doubts he will understand and look to you with courage you have, and know that you are a wonderful woman.

Sweetie~not many people take the step you do, and take the cop out. Im so proud of you for doing what you felt was right for your son.

[jslaughter]

Thanks Squirrley!

I suppose I am just feeling extra vulnerable now that I don't have a job, a little displaced. So finding out that Peter's mom knows my deep dark secret just seemed overwhelming (And unfair!) I feel a little better now that I've read your kind words. I guess the important thing I did what was best for my son - the rest just isn't important