Moving in together - how appropriate?

[Killerbabe]

Killerbabe very upset. Killerbabe very cynical and sad right now.

I like it in Denver so much that it's pretty tough being back home. My family is driving me crazy. Before I lived on my own (well, with my boyfriend) I didn't seem to notice all the conflicts between my mom and dad and my older sister... But now that I'm so used to peaceful surroundings and people that just want to chill (yes, Colorado is a very laid-back state) their fights really stress me out and I feel like I'm on a battlefield. Not like they all hate each other but yes, they're pretty much sick of each other I guess.

Then there's another issue. I never really had any curfews or anything, I mean if I really wanted to do something I'd find the right strings to pull. But now that I'm used to storming out of the house at 2 am, just because I feel like hanging out, it feels like I'm somehow restricted. I guess I got pretty lucky that my parents didn't mind sending me off that far away. They don't even mind that I live with my boyfriend at 19.

Most of my friends back here live with their parents and can't even imagine how my parents let me go on my own. I guess it's a Russian thing. You see thirty-year old "kids" living with their parents (sometimes even if married). Sure it's a problem with getting apartments because they're really costly and everything, but that's truly tragic. I'm used to hanging out with couples like Mike and I who live together and their parents couldn't care less living in some other state and society doesn't consider it inappropriate.

Back here I am bombarded by intimidating and oh-so-annoying questions like "So when are you guys getting married?" WE'RE NOT! Why do we have to get married?! Why does everyone make me feel guilty for living with a guy I love under one roof without a stamp in my passport?! My parents' friends look at me with disbelief and friends' parents nod with disapprovment...

But Mike's family (in Denver) doesn't seem to mind at all, they're very nice to me and think that I'm a great girl.

Or do they think that I'm a dirty little girl too because I moved in with my boyfriend too?..

[squirrley]

Killa if its the norm to live with your family forever over there then of course they'll look down on your situation here...but its the norm to move in together here. Hopefully youre only going to be at your parents for a short while and you come back to some normalcy with Mike. But I'll tell ya even here when couples move in together the parents are gonna ask "so whens the wedding?"

Try to enjoy the time you have with your family-and when you get back you can do your own thing again...it wont be long!

[Killerbabe]

Yep, you're right. Thanks for the encouragement. So sick of that bullsh*t. Honestly - when people ask you questions like that they don't really expect you to know the answer, they just wanna make you feel bad! They really can't think that Mike and I would talk about something like that. As in "Mikey, darling, when will you marry me?" So obviously when I shrug my shoulders and make an "indifferent" face expression uttering a pathetic indeterminate something about me being too young THOSE HATERS take on a superior triumphant face while nodding their head as if in pity thinking to their narrow-minded selves "Oh...he just doesn't want to marry her."

[squirrley]

YOU know its not like that-so f*ck those people! Killa-you've got a head on your shoulders and you love CO and you love Mike-you happen to enjoy what you have with him...you guys are also young and figuring things out-youre at a time in your life where your'e suppose to have fun...HAVE FUN KILLA! Ya know when people ask you that you should respond with something like"Im NOT ready to get married" Something that shows YOUR own confidence in your situation. (whether youre ready or not) just say something so they stop right there and its end of discusssion and you wont hear it anymore-youre slick chick you can do it!

[armyPunk]

My Parents Through Me Out At 17 Because I Did Nt Want To Live Under Their Rules I Moved In With My Girlfriend At That Time And Noone Said A Thing Everyone Accepted It.