dying over here.... - Love Forum

need_help · #1 (**permalink**) 29-06-04, 05:43 AM

I'm a college kid who's completely and totally infatuated with a girl who I've been good friends with for a few years. I've always had a crush on her, though she didnt always know. So she comes back from college for the summer and is ALL over me... putting me above her other friends (she never used to do that). It's totally killing me, and she also happens to be a HUGE flirt. Yada yada, she kisses me when I tell her I want her more than she can imagine.... but tells me she doesn't want a relationship seeing how she just got out of one that lasted several years. We decide being friends is our best option... then AGAIN she breaks the rules of engagement by having me sleep in her bed with her while she holds my hand and has her legs all over me (we had gotten pretty drunk that night). The next day she basically acts like nothing happened. She leaves for college at the end of the summer, so am I shit outa luck or WHAT??? Am i supposed to act like nothing happened or do i tell her to stop ****in with me?

Huendin · #2 (**permalink**) 29-06-04, 05:47 AM

Unless your having fun(temporary fun), which I doubt you are like that since you've had a crush on her for a long time, I'd tell her to stop, or at least make her choose between knowing that something's there(you both like each other) or just not doing anything with her at all. I meen, It's just going to make it much harder for you when she finally does leave.

jslaughter · #3 (**permalink**) 29-06-04, 06:23 AM

Just let it go - telling her off won't serve any purpose, just keep your distance and hopefully when she's ready for a real relationship you'll still be around.

BillyGalbreath · #4 (**permalink**) 29-06-04, 06:35 AM

this falls under the "friends with benefits" section - and friends with benefits NEVER work. TRUST ME.

need_help · #5 (**permalink**) 29-06-04, 07:15 AM

thanks jslaughter... i think that's maybe what i was trying to hear. Great quote too!

BBC1 · #6 (**permalink**) 29-06-04, 07:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by need_help

so am I shit outa luck or WHAT??? Am i supposed to act like nothing happened or do i tell her to stop ****in with me?

Sorry, you are out of luck.
And yes, you may act like nothing happened.

I guess you can combine two previous advices: keep a distance and have fun.
i.e. keep in mind she's totally flaky, you dont want that flaky person around in a long term.

if she is that flaky, treat her as a flaky person.

But there is no reason not to be friends with her and have fun
(means you as well can just forget about your agreement, can drink with her, touch her, but still keep in mind you dont want to be with her - just imagine she'leave tomorrow anyway)

need_help · #7 (**permalink**) 29-06-04, 05:46 PM

But I want to be with this girl more than ANYTHING.... with that in mind, do I have to keep distance lol? Or can I just pretend like nothing happened, cause we are really good friends... and yea she IS flaky, but I'm telling you there are like 5 guys that like this girl, me included... and im the only one she's done anything with (hoping its not because she doesnt know other guys feel same way as me... but she is smart). ANYWAY, does getting out of a 5 year relationship really make someone unwilling to get into another relationship?

BBC1 · #8 (**permalink**) 29-06-04, 09:37 PM

Need_help,

".......But I want to be with this girl more than ANYTHING.... with that in mind, do I have to keep distance lol?"

If you want to feel at least OK- yes, do keep _emotional _ distance.
If you go for her, flakiness will cause lots of trouble. You really like that flakiness?

"...Or can I just pretend like nothing happened, cause we are really good friends... "

You can do that - have fun with her as a friend, do not come to her closer _emotionally_.

"....and yea she IS flaky, but I'm telling you there are like 5 guys that like this girl, me included... and im the only one she's done anything with (hoping its not because she doesnt know other guys feel same way as me... but she is smart)."

So what? you probably is better than the other but still she is not willing
to go into anything like relationship. Forget about her, treat her as a friend.

"... ANYWAY, does getting out of a 5 year relationship really make someone unwilling to get into another relationship?"

Probably. We dont know. ...Get her here, and and we'll try to answer you question