Self-Esteem - Love Forum

HooKaH · #1 (**permalink**) 27-06-04, 11:17 AM

heres my situation...i have met this girl that i really like. She came to my prom with me and we have gone out twice ever since. I had not opened up to her and told her that i really liked her. However today i had the guts to and decided to do so. We were talking about her taking her license test again because she had failed the first time. She said that "maybe she just wasnt meant to get her license". This led to her opening up to me and telling me that she has low self esteem. That was the cue for me and i told her shes beautiful, smart, and really funny(she really is). The problem is that she was not accepting the things i told her. She said "im not smart at all i just work my ass off, im not funny cuz im just a blonde, and im not beautiful cuz, i mean have u seen other girls?" I really like this girl and i want her to know shes beautiful but its her friends that put her down and she thinks that they are being honest and she appreciates it. Im having a hard time convincing her. Any ideas?

MooneyPilot · #2 (**permalink**) 27-06-04, 11:20 AM

Here is what I do. Take her out for dinner and a movie. Take her to a good resturant, and take her to a movie that shes dying to see. Now to top it all off. Leave either a single rose or dozen in the passenger seat. That way when she walks to your car and she opens the door. She sees roses for her!

Alla_Aleks · #3 (**permalink**) 28-06-04, 02:06 AM

Don't try to convince her she's really beautiful or smth. Just be nice to her. Time will show her your real feelings.

HooKaH · #4 (**permalink**) 28-06-04, 02:36 AM

a little addition info...her previous boyfriends have been real jerks and they acted sweet to her in the beginning then broke her heart. I talk to her best friend and she told me that she says "even though he may be the sweetest guy in the world, i still have walls built all around my heart" . So that is how she feels right now and thats why we havent hooked up already. I dunno how to prove to her that im not like the others and that ill never break her heart. help!

armyPunk · #5 (**permalink**) 28-06-04, 02:40 AM

Kewl That Sux

Alla_Aleks · #6 (**permalink**) 28-06-04, 03:03 AM

Is it all for having sex with her?

jslaughter · #7 (**permalink**) 29-06-04, 12:58 AM

Invest time in your relationship with her - be complimentary but never over do it or it will seem fake. In time when she sees how real your feelings are her confidence will grow.

BBC1 · #8 (**permalink**) 29-06-04, 01:21 AM

The idea behind women's "i am nor pretty" statements often maybe "I want MORE compliments from you, I want MORE of your attention to me, I want MORE of your nice word about me", regardless of how confident she is.
So you may give it to her

I disagree with jslaughter: you may say fake compliments as well, as soon as they are wonderful, cute, awesome or just nice. She'll know it is not the reality, but the reality is not what she wants.