AGAIN with the mixed signals!!!! - Love Forum

jslaughter · #1 (**permalink**) 02-07-04, 11:33 PM

You know I would've added this to some of my older posts but then the someone would reply and the people I have come to count on for good, sane advice would assume they have already read and replied to this and I really need some good sane advice but my problem seems to be a variation on a theme. . .

Andy, the guy from Church, the one I painted. The one who is social and outgoing and then suddenly he's heading for the hills practically mid-sentence. The one that two of my guy friends think is weird but they can't tell me why.

I shot him an email last week asking him if I "passed" the homework assignment he had given us last weekend. I never heard back from him. Well this Monday some friends from church invited everyone over for Pizza, and Andy was there. Two hours in I asked him if I passed the homework assignment, I jsut couldn't take it anymore!!!!!!! He said that I had and that he tried to email me back but got an error about the host not being able to be found. I find this odd - he has a yahoo account and I get literally hundreds of emails a day and many of them come from yahoo accounts. I had never heard that there was any problems before. . .

Well the next day I shot him an email from my yahoo account - thinking problem solved. No Answer, but it wasn't an email that required an answer, an answer just would've been nice. Well yesterday, I emailed and ask if I could meet him for his weekly trip to Lowe's so he could help me pick out some paint. No Answer. I do realize that not everyone is as email obsessed as I am. . .but should I just be getting the hint already or what? When he's around me he always seems interested. I have often caught him stealing glances at me. Hence the MIXED aspect of his signals.

Hellllllppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bonovox40 · #2 (**permalink**) 02-07-04, 11:42 PM

He could just be wishy-washy about the whole thing, trying to decide if he wants to pursue you or keep it on a business level. I'm not sure how to read this guy, I need more info than this.

How do you paint people? I mean, do you have any examples you can show us or link to similar painting styles that you use?

jslaughter · #3 (**permalink**) 03-07-04, 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bonovox40

How do you paint people? I mean, do you have any examples you can show us or link to similar painting styles that you use?

I laughed so hard when I read that - thanks.

When I first met Andy I honestly wasn't paying any attention to him - I was dating Drew and I tend to be a one woman man whether I like it or not. I noted that Andy was cute but that was about it. A few weeks later Drew had pulled that drop off the planet thing and I found myself working side by side with Andy at the house we were remodeling.

We were painting cabinets when he made a smart alec comment and I threatened to paint him and he said - "you wouldn't dare." DUH I left a stripe across his cheek. The next day he wore a white hand print on his cheek, courtesy of little ole me.

Since that time we have seen each other at several activites and have spent some one on one time AFTER those activities but the time always ends rather abruptly.

I can't decide if he needs a little more feedback from me . . .or if he needs me to get lost!

Bonovox40 · #4 (**permalink**) 03-07-04, 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jslaughter

I laughed so hard when I read that - thanks.

I guess I didn't make it sound quite right. lol. I wouldn't say the "Or if I need to get lost" part, nobody should make you feel that way, even if he isn't interested. There's obviously some kind of decent chemistry in the mix, wether it's a compatiblity for friendship, or something more, I don't know. Best thing to do would to just ask him. Seriously, if he's a decent guy, he shouldn't flip over this. If one of my friend gf's asked me if I like them in that way, i'd be honest. I might be surprised if I didn't look at them in that way, but as long as they weren't asking me "Do you want this body?" while humping my leg, it wouldn't change how I feel about that person.

Besides, if he says that he does think of you as "more than a friend" you'll know, and if he doesn't say that or skirts around the topic, then you have a good idea he's just comfortable being friends as long as you ask him at a good time. (i.e. not in public, and a casual time together) Besides, if he HASN'T thought of the possibility of hooking up with you and you tell him that you've wondered if he thinks of you beyond being friends, he may start to think of it himself and wonder if that might be something worth pursuing. "Plant the seed" so to speak! Good luck!

jslaughter · #5 (**permalink**) 03-07-04, 12:34 AM

Oh wait - let me clarify Andy and Drew are not friends. Drew and I have been non-exclusively dating. We are both free to see other people . . .

Andy goes to church with me - they've never met.

But maybe I should find a way to plant the seed . . . I will see him Saturday evening, hmmm. . .

PandaCivic · #6 (**permalink**) 03-07-04, 12:43 AM

well seems like he is messing with your head. he has a yahoo account? try to send him an email with a read receipt. this way you can track the email and find out if it was sent with an error. you can also tell if he deleted it without first reading it. but it's best not to know right? something like that. why don't YOU ask him out? why don't YOU be the first to say something? this way you aren't trippen so much cuz of what he will or won't do? good luck.

jslaughter · #7 (**permalink**) 03-07-04, 12:59 AM

LOL - you are not the only wise person who suggest that - - I have been in intensive therpay with Dr.Ratfish for sometime now. He's trying to help me get over the notion that I am supposed to be a "demure Southern girl." DANG IT - - - I bet Scarlett didn't have these problems!

PandaCivic · #8 (**permalink**) 03-07-04, 01:48 AM

haha! or you can just pass him by and accidentally grab his crotch. whatever works.

squirrley · #9 (**permalink**) 03-07-04, 02:01 AM

Jules:we might be reading into this too much-maybe he didnt check his email? It is possible-most guys dont check it everyday.

Hang in there kiddo-men are strange when it comes to certain things-and email is probably one of them-like talking on the phone. Gotta have that one on one direct contact. Andys a good guy and someone you could have fun with-dont give up on yet. Wait it out a week and see what happens with the holiday weekend and all who knows-but dont wait around too long for him. Youve been direct in a way-maybe not socially hint:time to kick in overdrive here!

Next email:ask him to lunch-or CALL him and ask him to lunch even better! I think youve guys established that much that you could call him. Keep us posted girly!!!

Ratfish256 · #10 (**permalink**) 03-07-04, 02:06 AM

Haha, I know all about reading too much into stuff. Anyway I think she should call him up. He may be too timid to call her or just not sure yet.

squirrley · #11 (**permalink**) 03-07-04, 02:07 AM

get the damn duct tape

jslaughter · #12 (**permalink**) 03-07-04, 03:14 AM

I like the duct tape idea!!!

PandaCivic · #13 (**permalink**) 03-07-04, 03:21 AM

all this time i thought us guys has stuff like this to worry about. i guess you gals have the same issue???? who would have thought...that's right, a guy.

squirrley · #14 (**permalink**) 03-07-04, 03:29 AM

Yea yea us GALS do have the little shitass person on our shoulder too! Oh yea-she sucks too! But what to do we do? WE listen like an ass...and then realize oh shit-we just messed up something fierce! Hence the duct tape-either to shut up our shitass on our shoulder and ourselves...

go away little shitass go away...

Ratfish256 · #15 (**permalink**) 03-07-04, 03:32 AM

You should introduce your little "shitass" to mine, maybe they will fall in love and leave us alone.