Why??? - Love Forum

eyesoulatedMIND · #1 (**permalink**) 05-07-04, 11:38 AM

Why do most girls with so much potential and has it all together go out with guys that are losers? I don't get this phenomena... Another thing to with girls is like you come off to weak, they walk all over you.. You come off too strong you scare them away...

Screwed_Guy · #2 (**permalink**) 05-07-04, 01:47 PM

This question has plagued mankind for ages... or at least its plagued me. Over the course of my life I have watched countless friends of mine date loser boyfriends. I tell them my thoughts on the guy and say that I'm only looking out for their best interest. Only to have them tell me I don't understand, he's really a great guy when you get to know him, ect.... Same story happens every time. Their BF dumps them, they come crying to me. My theory is that some girls prefer guys that are @$$holes (hear me out) Think about it. With guys that are losers, girls don't have to worry about them being friends already. As such they don't have to risk a friendship for a potential lover. Also when a loser ignores the girl, the girl gets curious about why. That automatically means that the girl will be thinking of the loser more, as compared to other guys. There is also the phenomena that girls seem to be attracted to mysterious "bad boys"... While I'm not saying that all losers are bad boys, I'm also not saying that no losers are bad boys. Plus, girls have the "nice guys" as emotional punchbags whenever the loser gives the girl a hard time. As such the girl doesn't need emotional support from her BF. She's getting enough from her guy friends. Its crazy, that's all that can be said for sure. All we can do is hope and pray that girls everywhere will wake up and smell the coffee... yeah... like that's gonna happen. Wow, I'm really rambling now. ne ways, I'd have to say in conclusion that as long as there are losers, there will be girls falling head over heals for them. I've simple avoided those girls and found the sane ones to date.

blue_moon2 · #3 (**permalink**) 05-07-04, 10:01 PM

well its cause some guys may be complete ass holes but around us they are completely different so we only see one side..but when we really like some1 you will not sway up off our path!! lol and sometimes we like them so much we are just comletely blind to what the guy is doing.

but yea...girls dont really even understand that one!

eyesoulatedMIND · #4 (**permalink**) 06-07-04, 01:11 AM

hhmmm.. your replies makes sense... It sucks to be a nice guy, I wish I was more of an @$$hole, bad boy, loser type of guy then maybe I'll have better luck on relationships. Thank's for the replies...

Exodus · #5 (**permalink**) 06-07-04, 02:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eyesoulatedMIND

hhmmm.. your replies makes sense... It sucks to be a nice guy, I wish I was more of an @$$hole, bad boy, loser type of guy then maybe I'll have better luck on relationships. Thank's for the replies...

Sad but true.. sad but true. I know exactly what you mean. The only reason that the losers get the girls is because they don't really care so they can do whatever they want and don't sweat over it, that gives them the illusion of confidence and like they're on top of it. Girls like that, the nice guys are usually considerate and won't make the moves to get girls because they don't want to offend them or don't know how they would react, in turn this has the effect that they usually don't get the girls. And then you've got the friends trap because they try to get close to them by being friends and end up getting stuck there. It's a vicious system.

zas · #6 (**permalink**) 06-07-04, 03:09 AM

"nice guys" are too wussy for me

we girls need a real man, not a nice guy who wont stop bugging us...

Nice Lover Boy · #7 (**permalink**) 06-07-04, 03:18 AM

hum.....not all "Nice" guys are going to be nice. I should know.

eyesoulatedMIND · #8 (**permalink**) 06-07-04, 04:40 AM

when i said "nice guys" i did not mean those nerdy guys who will be a slave to a girl and would do every single thing and the type that bugs every day. What I meant for "nice guys" for example: treating the girl right, not adding to her problems because she already has a lot of it, being understanding, being there whenever she needs someone to talk to about problems(family, friends etc) wussy?? okay... go out with a real man that would treat you as if you are just another piece of a$$, someone who will have stupid nonsense idiotic arguments, some guy who will talk like :where da f*ck you at b*tch?", or someone that will stack more problems... if you get a kick out of that then good for you....

Prodigal · #9 (**permalink**) 06-07-04, 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eyesoulatedMIND

when i said "nice guys" i did not mean those nerdy guys who will be a slave to a girl and would do every single thing and the type that bugs every day. What I meant for "nice guys" for example: treating the girl right, not adding to her problems because she already has a lot of it, being understanding, being there whenever she needs someone to talk to about problems(family, friends etc) wussy?? okay... go out with a real man that would treat you as if you are just another piece of a$$, someone who will have stupid nonsense idiotic arguments, some guy who will talk like :where da f*ck you at b*tch?", or someone that will stack more problems... if you get a kick out of that then good for you....

I know what you mean. I am one of those guys (what you described, not the 'slave'). It seems as if you are one of them too. I think that very few girls want guys like us anymore (did they ever?). It's just some fairy-tale story. Almost all girls don't seem to want that. They SAY that they want that, but the guys that most of them pick don't seem to follow. What does it show? Probably that most say one thing and do another, at least in this case. So the guys are assholes, are perverted and think primarily about having sex when it comes to relationships, and don't treat the women right. And the women fall for these kinds of guys (maybe it's because they think that they can change this guy into someone 'good'?). It makes the nice guys want to be more 'bad ass', more people turn into assholes, more people get hurt... it's a vicious cycle. It's why I've lost faith in this world.

Breezy18 · #10 (**permalink**) 06-07-04, 08:54 AM

Okay, I GOTTA step in here. It seems to me that you are lumping all girls into one category here when really it may be just the girl you seem to be enamoured with at any given time isn't interested in you, so you just chalk it up to her not wanting the nice guy. I'm sure there are many girls out there that would LOVE to give you 'nice guys' the time of day, but for one reason or another you aren't interested in her. Girls have the same problem guys. Cut them some slack. It's like saying all guys go for skinng, big breasted blondes! It's insulting and is not a fair assessment of men in general. Just like girls are only attracted to guys that treat them like assholes isn't fair. It's the same as anything else in life; love is an enigma. It creates frustration and anguish. BUT it can also create euphoric feelings that delight both body and mind. Finding the right one is trial and error, but when you DO find that one, you'll wonder why you were ever thinking such nonsense before.

Don · #11 (**permalink**) 06-07-04, 11:54 AM

My opinion though. I think the problem is not getting to know each other deeply enough. My approach is when I meet a girl is to stay calm and do like I do everyday and at the same time getting to know her more. This is not 1 week process. It is slow process but in the long term, it benefit you. Another important thing is creating a comfortable relationship between she and you during the getting to know you period. Hope this helps.

Screwed_Guy · #12 (**permalink**) 06-07-04, 12:07 PM

Before I go into the issue at hand, let me just say that I didn't ever group all girls into what i've said. I've simple said that there are too many girls who fall under this "spell" that the bad asses cast.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breezy18

Okay, I GOTTA step in here. It seems to me that you are lumping all girls into one category here when really it may be just the girl you seem to be enamoured with at any given time isn't interested in you, so you just chalk it up to her not wanting the nice guy.

I think now you are the one trying to lump these guys into a single group. You are trying to say that ALL guys who think that girls fall for bad asses, only think so because the girls we are interested in, aren't interested in us. Kinda hypocritical don't you think... accusing of of lumping girls into groups when you just grouped all of us together

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breezy18

I'm sure there are many girls out there that would LOVE to give you 'nice guys' the time of day, but for one reason or another you aren't interested in her. Girls have the same problem guys. Cut them some slack. It's like saying all guys go for skinng, big breasted blondes! It's insulting and is not a fair assessment of men in general. Just like girls are only attracted to guys that treat them like assholes isn't fair.

Never did we say that ALL girls are ONLY attracted to assholes. We only said that there are a LOT of girls who are. That's not being unfair, its just a true problem.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breezy18

It's the same as anything else in life; love is an enigma. It creates frustration and anguish. BUT it can also create euphoric feelings that delight both body and mind. Finding the right one is trial and error, but when you DO find that one, you'll wonder why you were ever thinking such nonsense before.

Ok, well in my case, I'm with someone I love very much. Does that mean that all i've said here, I will later think is nonsense? I think not.

Oh, and one last request before I end this post. Please don't try to turn this into battle of the sexes. I'm just not in the mood right now.

Breezy18 · #13 (**permalink**) 06-07-04, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Screwed_Guy

Oh, and one last request before I end this post. Please don't try to turn this into battle of the sexes. I'm just not in the mood right now.

well, holy hell, ya sure coulda fooled me!!! A little touchy are we?

Screwed_Guy · #14 (**permalink**) 07-07-04, 01:28 PM

Yeah, sorry about that, I was kinda in a bitchy mood when I wrote it

Rachel · #15 (**permalink**) 07-07-04, 07:33 PM

There's also the question why do guys with so much potential(cute,decent.nice non-cheaters,etc.) go out with girls that in the end make them suffer?I can't understand that too...