Got a question - Love Forum

diligentpsycho · #1 (**permalink**) 10-09-07, 02:47 AM

Ive been seeing my girlfriend for about 5 months now, we live together after a month, moving into our OWN apartment in month...spend ALL of our free time together and both of us are very happy with each other. The question is, How soon is to soon to ask for her hand in marriage? She talks about marriage alot, and how she cant wait to start our life together. There would deffinitly be a great amount of time spent being Engaged before a date is set, but I want her to know that I want to make that commitment and show her how serious I am about her.

Your Though on the matter is greatly appreciated.

vashti · #2 (**permalink**) 10-09-07, 08:53 AM

Generally, my criteria for good marriage candidates are people who have been seeing each other for a couple of years and who are not younger than 28 (female) or 30 (male). They should share common views about the role of religion, child-rearing, and finances. They should be able to get along with each other's families. They should know how to compromise without resentment, and they should know how to fight fairly.

IndiReloaded · #3 (**permalink**) 10-09-07, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

Generally, my criteria for good marriage candidates are people who have been seeing each other for a couple of years and who are not younger than 28 (female) or 30 (male). They should share common views about the role of religion, child-rearing, and finances. They should be able to get along with each other's families. They should know how to compromise without resentment, and they should know how to fight fairly.

This post should be a Sticky or get otherwise logged as a great answer.

Gigabitch · #4 (**permalink**) 11-09-07, 02:47 AM

At least two years together is the bare minimum for marriage, IMO.

diligentpsycho · #5 (**permalink**) 11-09-07, 05:41 AM

Marriage, I totally agree. Proposal is what Im intending to do. Let her know that Im prepared to further our relationship. I do not want to rush into marriage by all means.

Gigabitch · #6 (**permalink**) 11-09-07, 05:41 AM

At least a year, then. At very least.

miSSleepy · #7 (**permalink**) 11-09-07, 09:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by diligentpsycho

Marriage, I totally agree. Proposal is what Im intending to do. Let her know that Im prepared to further our relationship. I do not want to rush into marriage by all means.

well, you are rushing, judging by that post.

diligentpsycho · #8 (**permalink**) 12-09-07, 12:31 AM

Just because I want to propose does NOT mean that I will be rushing into marriage, did you read what i posted at all?

vashti · #9 (**permalink**) 12-09-07, 04:07 AM

::confused::

Isn't a proposal an agreement to get married?

I agree with missleepy. It seems too soon.

diligentpsycho · #10 (**permalink**) 13-09-07, 12:22 AM

Of course it is, but it doesnt mean, "Hey we are engaged, lets get married in 2 months"

miSSleepy · #11 (**permalink**) 13-09-07, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by diligentpsycho

Just because I want to propose does NOT mean that I will be rushing into marriage, did you read what i posted at all?

what, the bit about being with her for 5 months so far? Yeah, I have.
Dude, you're still in the honeymoon phase. You're rushing, period, whether into marriage or the idea of it.

miSSleepy · #12 (**permalink**) 13-09-07, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by diligentpsycho

Of course it is, but it doesnt mean, "Hey we are engaged, lets get married in 2 months"

You seem naive in your thoughts about this proposal is a proposal, doesn't matter when the date for the marriage is.
You have my thoughts on the matter and everyone else's, which you asked for by posting here. If you still want to do you own thing, go right ahead, no need to get snappy.

Vain · #13 (**permalink**) 13-09-07, 10:29 AM

Sure think about marriage but I must agree with everyone else in that it's way to soon to actually propose to her.

bluesummer · #14 (**permalink**) 13-09-07, 01:48 PM

I personally believe there is no point in getting engaged unless you fully intend the end result to be marriage. Engagements should not be 'testing-out' periods. They are simply points in time used to plan a wedding. Therefore, if you are not 100% sure your relationship is solid enough to last to the end, you have no business proposing.

I had a friend tell me once how retarded she thought it was that people got engaged for years at a time - because isn't the point to get married? Why wait two years? Are you unsure? If so, why did you propose in the first place?

I'd say wait until AT VERY LEAST one year. Although experts say it takes two to three years to truly get to know a person. Two years is my personal minimum.

Maybelline · #15 (**permalink**) 13-09-07, 02:18 PM

I honestly think that you should only propose when you yourself know you are ready for that commitment. If you are questioning us here, then surely you aren't ready for this. Just because she talks about it, doesn't mean you have to act on it. Plus it should be more of a surprised and less expected.

I don't think that time has a limit on how soon or how far along a relationship should be before you get married, if it's right, then you just know it in your heart. Sure it doesn't hurt to spend the few extra month to figure her/him out and what you want from the relationship, but heh, if it's love then it's love. That's just how love works.