Sad - Love Forum

saddened · #1 (**permalink**) 12-09-07, 08:15 AM

Here is a brief detail of why I am here.
I am married with two kids and have recently had a conversation with my wife at dinner with another couple. Some how she got on the topic of her ex-boyfriend and things they did that we haven't i.e. sex on the beach and so forth. She went so far as to say I was smaller than he in size both stature and, well you know. She goes on to say if he had treated her right that she would have not married me. I guess you can imagine how I feel now that she has revealed all these things. Yes I am hurt due to what she said. Yes she was drinking. I finally had to tell her to shut up, but it was too late. The damage has been done. I would never talk about my past even to the point of not even telling her I sent flowers to my ex all the time and would never mention anything sexual. I tried to talk to her but she said I was being childish. I felt bad for the other couple, so I called and talked to them and explained that I was hurt and I did not want them to get in the middle of the situation and they understood and said they aggreed she was in the wrong.
What can I do...how can I talk to her about this...am I over reacting?

S

IndiReloaded · #2 (**permalink**) 12-09-07, 08:23 AM

It was very disrespectful of her to say those things to you. At best. At worst, you have some serious marriage problems that need addressing. This would merit some kind of counselling if its a regular occurance, IMO.

vashti · #3 (**permalink**) 12-09-07, 09:23 AM

Yikes! If I were so cruel when drinking, I'd never touch another drop. I'd be hurt, too... also humiliated that other people witnessed her shameful behavior. I agree that this warrants counseling. You need some help to repair the level of disrespect she hold for you before your marriage disintegrates. (I'm thinking of your kids.)

Gigabitch · #4 (**permalink**) 12-09-07, 09:42 AM

How did the other couple react? I would have been mortified by her behavior. You are not overreacting at all.

saddened · #5 (**permalink**) 12-09-07, 10:01 AM

The husband told her she needed to shut up and the wife tried to make a joke of it.

Vain · #6 (**permalink**) 12-09-07, 10:11 AM

Your not overreacting at all. Perhaps you may be trying to blame yourself after she said your childish but your not exactly being childish. I personally would be very hurt if my significant other said something like that. I agree with getting counseling especially since she thinks your being childish and does not realize how cruel she was.

DoesntMatter · #7 (**permalink**) 12-09-07, 11:34 AM

Wow, your wife is heartless. Good luck with your situation.

I don't know what to suggest other than to see a marriage counselor

bohemiandonut · #8 (**permalink**) 12-09-07, 12:17 PM

Stupid girls.

CAM · #9 (**permalink**) 12-09-07, 12:46 PM

I think your marriage is in deep trouble. That is beyond disrespect. That tells me that she's actively looking for either a way out of your relationship with her or she's having an affair.

But, I get the feeling there's more background here that we aren't privvy to, right? Is she a younger woman? Younger than you? Are you the sugar daddy? Um...let's see...does she have a drug or alcohol problem? Was she drunk when she said those things? Other background that you'd like to share?

miSSleepy · #10 (**permalink**) 12-09-07, 02:24 PM

Definitely not overreacting. Her being drunk is no excuse though...after all, that's when the honesty comes out. Seems like she might have some resentment or bitterness towards you, not necessarily because anything you've done.

Have you had any other experiences like this? Anything to raise suspicion that she isn't completely satisfied? Are you usually close/happy/etc or is this a more direct continuation of something that already exists?

If this came totally out of the blue and nothing like it has ever happened before, then I suggest seriously talking to her and telling her that you are NOT overreacting. Tell her exactly how you feel and what you think.

If this has been ongoing, you should either try working things out with her on your own os see a counsellor.

Gigabitch · #11 (**permalink**) 13-09-07, 01:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CAM

I think your marriage is in deep trouble. That is beyond disrespect. That tells me that she's actively looking for either a way out of your relationship with her or she's having an affair.

Oh, my God, CAM is totally right. It sounds like she's trying to make you end it.

CAM · #12 (**permalink**) 13-09-07, 03:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saddened

The husband told her she needed to shut up and the wife tried to make a joke of it.

Hmm. I wonder why the husband told her to "shut up" ? Perhaps she is having an affair with him? I'm serious. It sounds like she was close to blurting something out and he was telling her to shush up.

Frasbee · #13 (**permalink**) 13-09-07, 03:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CAM

Hmm. I wonder why the husband told her to "shut up" ? Perhaps she is having an affair with him? I'm serious. It sounds like she was close to blurting something out and he was telling her to shush up.

I wouldn't jump to that conclusion at all. I think most people could see the things she was saying as completely rude and disrespectful. I've been in situations where I could see one of my friends was taking a joke too far about another friend in company. It makes for an awkward moment for all, and you can't help but feel bad for that person. It's humiliating.

I'd of told her to shut up too.

bohemiandonut · #14 (**permalink**) 13-09-07, 04:39 AM

It's I'dve, Frasbee. I'dve.

vashti · #15 (**permalink**) 13-09-07, 04:46 AM

I don't think so... "I'd have" is more like it, I think.