Mother F$%#er I need help! - Love Forum

Ratfish256 · #1 (**permalink**) 08-07-04, 10:13 AM

I assume you all know what has been going on Between Jade and I. Today I called her to see how she was doing and we talked for about an hour, maybe more before I had to go. At one point during the converstation she said "her boyfriend." Now I am completely confused. I could write a lot of stuff, but I will just list reasons that made me think she didn't have a boyfriend and things that make sense if she does.

Reasons I thought she didn't:
1. When we first me she was very flirtatious. (is that a word?)
2. She continued to talk with me after I told her that I liked her and that I though she was beautiful.
3. She liked the flowers and told me more than once.
4. I made it very clear that I would want to go on a date with her the first time we talked on the phone and she didn't say she wasn't single or any of that jazz.
5. Instead of going to prom she went into the city with her brother to see a show.
6. She sent me a few pictures of her (not at my request) and her friends/family but no boyfriend.
7. We have been talking for nearly 4 weeks and nothing before this has given me any idea that she would have a bf.
8. She isn't the type of girl that would hide stuff like that. (Yeah im sure that a lot of people would make assumptions like that but after what I have been through in the past few years I can pick people like that out from a mile away.)

Things that make sense if she does:

1. This happens to me 95% of the time so it would fit with my stats.
Hmm thats about it that makes sense.

What really confuses the hell out of me is that a few times during our chat she said girlfriend and quickly changed it to girls that are her friends. Maybe she made the same slip? We were talking about our diffrent friends. She told me that she wont be home much the next few days for various reasons and that I should call her cellphone. Why would she want me to call her more if it couldn't be clearer that I want to be more than friends? I am pretty sure that I will call her tomorrow and ask her flat out if she has a boyfriend or not. If she does, so be it. If not, I hope to change that =).

Please help me.

Screwed_Guy · #2 (**permalink**) 08-07-04, 10:21 AM

It sounds very confusing on your part and from the sound of things if she does have boyfriend, she's done a pretty good job of making sure you didn't know about him. I say that you just do what you said you would. Call her and ask her if she is single or not. Can't think of anyway you could confuse that answer.

alwaysjustin · #3 (**permalink**) 08-07-04, 03:43 PM

So... if you've been talking to her for that long, wouldn't she tell you about what she did with her boyfriend, if she had one? If she didn't tell you anything, maybe it's a shitty guy, or a shitty relationship?

She's single (or single enough)

Take her away!

squirrley · #4 (**permalink**) 08-07-04, 05:56 PM

OMG RATFISH WTF? Alrighty Im assuming here that she's utterly confused herself. Maybe she does have a boyfriend is seeing where this could go with you. This sucks so bad Ratfish-wait til Jules and Breezy read this one. Im throwing in my two cents cause I really thoght this was a good thing for you here so here I go:

1. Shes got a shitty boyfriend and does want to see you, talk to you,etc. If you REALLY like this girl DONT change what youre doing-she'll see the potential boyfriend material you are...

2. Gotta throw this is in too: if she does have a boyfriend and say she dumps this guy-you two hook up-are you not going to have worries that she would do this to you?

Damnit-damnit damnit-this does throw a wrench into things. Ok-so call her on the carpet about it tomorrow, you HAVE to know for sure, but dont sound insecure about it. Just talk casually as always-and somehow fit that question in that conversation-she knows youre interested in her and if she has feelings for you she SHOULD come clean and let you know whats going with her.

You have the power here and have the ball in your court-this is the good thing-you have choices here-you can stick this out and hopefully she'll bail out on the crappy boyfriend-or you could say screw this its not worth sending anymore flowers!

I do wish you the best Ratfsih-this sucks I know...but hang in there-something will change for you-something good has to come out of it for ya!!!

BillyGalbreath · #5 (**permalink**) 08-07-04, 09:36 PM

oh **** no ! This is where I would have to back the **** off if I were you, ratfish. I have been that other guy WAY too many times. You all say that she has a shitty b/f ?! I say she is at a bump in that relationship - there is no such thing as a shitty b/f unless he is beating her or abusing her in any way. And if he was doing that she would have said something by now...

I will never take a girl away from her man - ever ! I have been that other guy many times.

Karma is a bitch. You steal from someone, someone will steal from you !

Ratfish256 · #6 (**permalink**) 08-07-04, 09:38 PM

Thats the same way I feel. I figure if someone will drop their current BF like that I could get dropped just as fast. I do want to find out for sure first though.

bivio · #7 (**permalink**) 08-07-04, 09:53 PM

Hello! I haven't heard anything about this relationship due to just joinin.

Maybe she has a Bf and is confused because you've came into her life and made such an impact. If this is so she must be havin a hard time, no doubt her relationship with that Bf was strong but it's stronger with you. Do you meet face to face?

Maybe she did make a mistake but that is very doubtful.

Mate you'll be doing the best thing by being honest and just ask her if she does or doesn't.

If she does, what will you?, will you change the way you are? - you might say you wont but I think we all know we would. She obviously like these conversation with you, I'd suggest if she does have a bf keep these conversations going just make yourself open for other options and girls.

Bivio

Ratfish256 · #8 (**permalink**) 09-07-04, 12:21 AM

Alright, I talked to her today and it turns out there is no boyfriend. I don't know though. I am having second thoughts about the whole situation. She did mention that she sortof likes someone else right now. I guess that doesn't take me out of the running but I hate playing ****ing games. I think I am going to just drop it and walk away. I wont call her anymore. If she is interested she has my number and email so she can get in touch. At this point I have a bitter taste in my mouth from the whole experience.

BBC1 · #9 (**permalink**) 09-07-04, 02:58 AM

Ratfish256,

...........Alright, I talked to her today and it turns out there is no boyfriend. I don't know though. I am having second thoughts about the whole situation. She did mention that she sortof likes someone else right now. At this point I have a bitter taste in my mouth from the whole experience.

Man, this is a human auction, you make your bid but there are hundreds of others who can offer a higher price and dozens of those you have offered.
You know that only one person can actully "buy", the guy who offered the highest price:looks\money\attitude. And she'll go for him like she never
knew you.

So there is no good advice here, think over the auction thing, take some real sugary pills

and think how you can offer a higher "price".

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
-- George Bernard Shaw

jslaughter · #10 (**permalink**) 09-07-04, 03:24 AM

Ratfish - you are a rare and wonderful individual, in time there will be someone who will appreciate that. Find that person.

Perhaps Ms.Jade will come around when you aren't so available to her and then you can decide if you are still interested or not.

BBC1 · #11 (**permalink**) 09-07-04, 04:26 AM

Ratfish,

"....there will be someone who will appreciate that. Find that person."

I agree with that. Find that person, bcz you see know Jade demands and looks for higher "price" that you may offer.

Dont wait until she'll tell you "..lets be friends, ok", cuz then you'll need
even more sugar pills. If she is hesitant about you, that means most likely one thing: she is getting ready to switch to a new BF. Be ready. How?
jslaughter gave you good piece of advice: "Find that person".

bivio · #12 (**permalink**) 09-07-04, 07:20 AM

I think you're going over the top with this.
I think it's best to leave it until she rings but don't competely ignore and forget everything you two have had.

Same question as before... Have you meet her?

Ratfish256 · #13 (**permalink**) 09-07-04, 09:15 AM

We spent A whole weekend together the first time we met. Its over though for me. I have had enough of games and all that shit. I wont bother to try to talk with her unless she calls or something and I wont be waiting around for a call either. Frankly at this point I can find more reasons to cut her out of my life completly than not. If she decides to call I will be very apprehensive. On a slightly diffrent note I may have some better news tomorrow. Stay tuned to the days in the life of Ratfish.

PS. Don't worry about me, I am taking this better than I thought.