Age Difference: Important or Irrelevant?

[umi]

Hi, I am new to the site and to new to love, hope you guys can enlighten me, so here is the situation:

The beginning:
After two months of searching for work, I got a call from this lady telling me to come in for a interview, and so I did, I was glad because I thought I would be jobless for another summer... I met her at the company. She is 13 years older than me and I'm 23. When I saw her for the first time but never felt anything. The the second and third time I saw her and talked to her my feelings grew. I don't know what happened, for days I lost appetite, lost interest in all other things; it just kind of unexplainable, she is the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and last thing I think about when I'm in bed; she is just such down to earth, heart warming woman, genuine and loving.

The detective work:
I don't know if she is married or not but I have a good guess that she isn't; I saw no ring on her fingers except for some ring for decorating/styling, no pictures in her office which is weird because all other co-workers there got pictures of their family and children etc... on their desks and in their cubicles; the co-workers were even teasing her while I was in her office doing paper work because she didn't have any pictures, so they made some cardboard box and drew bunch of stick figures on it and hanged it on her wall. She was even saying to me, " they are teasing me because I don't have any pictures". All these tell me that she is definitely single, and I must not let chance go. Just something I read off the bulleting board because she was person of the week or something like that, she trains for marathons, and likes to do yoga.

The problem:
I will be returning to university in September to do my bachelor of education, I am planning to become a teacher. It is gonna be 2 hour drive from work to my university and I don't have a care as bad as the situation is. So in this such short amount of time, how am I suppose to get to know her better? Her office is like right next to the entrance of the building whereas I work in the back of the plant. Also I get different shifts each week, so the chances of seeing her or have an excuse to talk would be slim to none. How is she going to accept this, I mean even if I don't care about the age gap, she might feel uncomfortable and think I lack maturity. To be honest, I am quite mature compared to the guys in my age group. In fact, I don't even act like those people and my friends, I feel like an old man ready to settle down and live life.

So my fellow members, I definitely need help on this. It kinda drains all my energy, that is probably why I got low energy ever since this started. I do appreciate sincere help and input. I will keep this updated as much as I can.

[Frasbee]

I didn't read it, busy eating this burrito, but I'm curious to see what others say about this. Age gaps always make for interesting conversations.

[vashti]

She's your boss? Forget about it. Unless she has the intelligence of an embryo, she wouldn't risk her position.

Aside from that, you can usually get a pretty good idea about the age/character of a person answering this question. Usually it is the younger, 20-something posters - or the outrageously lonely older ones - who will say something like "age doesn't matter". They average person over 30 would hesitate to say that.

[Aeradalia]

I'm going to get old reading all of these age gap discussions...

Sure... give it a whirl... but be prepared for her to:

a. Reject you outright

b. String you along for a very short-lived 'fling'

c. Destroy your hopes of having a long-term functioning relationship


It's difficult to start and maintain a relationship with quite an age gap in the best of conditions. These are no where near the best of conditions.

[Aeradalia]

Aside from that, you can usually get a pretty good idea about the age/character of a person answering this question. Usually it is the younger, 20-something posters - or the outrageously lonely older ones - who will say something like "age doesn't matter". They average person over 30 would hesitate to say that.

...or the ones who are in such a relationship and trying their damnedest to make it work.

I for one am not inclined in the slightest to say "age doesn't matter." It does, and I am reminded of it everyday.

[umi]

She's your boss? Forget about it. Unless she has the intelligence of an embryo, she wouldn't risk her position.

Aside from that, you can usually get a pretty good idea about the age/character of a person answering this question. Usually it is the younger, 20-something posters - or the outrageously lonely older ones - who will say something like "age doesn't matter". They average person over 30 would hesitate to say that.

not my boss, she works at the human resources department, I think she is the only person working at human resources. And she just got the job like 3 months ago...

[IndiReloaded]

She's not interested. If she is, she's nuts. Forget it.

[Gribble]

If I was da boss I'd want to **** all my young hirelings.

[Henry123]

The beginning:
After two months of searching for work, I got a call from this lady telling me to come in for a interview, and so I did, I was glad because I thought I would be jobless for another summer... I met her at the company. She is 13 years older than me and I'm 23. When I saw her for the first time but never felt anything. The the second and third time I saw her and talked to her my feelings grew. I don't know what happened, for days I lost appetite, lost interest in all other things; it just kind of unexplainable, she is the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and last thing I think about when I'm in bed; she is just such down to earth, heart warming woman, genuine and loving.

The detective work:
I don't know if she is married or not but I have a good guess that she isn't; I saw no ring on her fingers except for some ring for decorating/styling, no pictures in her office which is weird because all other co-workers there got pictures of their family and children etc... on their desks and in their cubicles; the co-workers were even teasing her while I was in her office doing paper work because she didn't have any pictures, so they made some cardboard box and drew bunch of stick figures on it and hanged it on her wall. She was even saying to me, " they are teasing me because I don't have any pictures". All these tell me that she is definitely single, and I must not let chance go. Just something I read off the bulleting board because she was person of the week or something like that, she trains for marathons, and likes to do yoga.

Are you saying your not dating her?

[umi]

Are you saying your not dating her?

I never said i wouldn't date her, I said I ain't sure about her status, I'm gonna find out later by tlaking to her.

[Henry123]

Hi, I am new to the site and to new to love, hope you guys can enlighten me, so here is the situation:

The beginning:
After two months of searching for work, I got a call from this lady telling me to come in for a interview, and so I did, I was glad because I thought I would be jobless for another summer... I met her at the company. She is 13 years older than me and I'm 23. When I saw her for the first time but never felt anything. The the second and third time I saw her and talked to her my feelings grew. I don't know what happened, for days I lost appetite, lost interest in all other things; it just kind of unexplainable, she is the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and last thing I think about when I'm in bed; she is just such down to earth, heart warming woman, genuine and loving.

The detective work:
I don't know if she is married or not but I have a good guess that she isn't; I saw no ring on her fingers except for some ring for decorating/styling, no pictures in her office which is weird because all other co-workers there got pictures of their family and children etc... on their desks and in their cubicles; the co-workers were even teasing her while I was in her office doing paper work because she didn't have any pictures, so they made some cardboard box and drew bunch of stick figures on it and hanged it on her wall. She was even saying to me, " they are teasing me because I don't have any pictures". All these tell me that she is definitely single, and I must not let chance go. Just something I read off the bulleting board because she was person of the week or something like that, she trains for marathons, and likes to do yoga.

The problem:
I will be returning to university in September to do my bachelor of education, I am planning to become a teacher. It is gonna be 2 hour drive from work to my university and I don't have a care as bad as the situation is. So in this such short amount of time, how am I suppose to get to know her better? Her office is like right next to the entrance of the building whereas I work in the back of the plant. Also I get different shifts each week, so the chances of seeing her or have an excuse to talk would be slim to none. How is she going to accept this, I mean even if I don't care about the age gap, she might feel uncomfortable and think I lack maturity. To be honest, I am quite mature compared to the guys in my age group. In fact, I don't even act like those people and my friends, I feel like an old man ready to settle down and live life.

So my fellow members, I definitely need help on this. It kinda drains all my energy, that is probably why I got low energy ever since this started. I do appreciate sincere help and input. I will keep this updated as much as I can.

I never said i wouldn't date her, I said I ain't sure about her status, I'm gonna find out later by tlaking to her.

What I was asking was 'are you currently dating her? (but since it seems you are not. My question doesnt really matter).


"I'm gonna find out later by tlaking to her."
It doenst mean she will reciprocate feelings for you. You dont know her that well and she is your boss.

[umi]

What I was asking was 'are you currently dating her? (but since it seems you are not. My question doesnt really matter).


"I'm gonna find out later by tlaking to her."
It doenst mean she will reciprocate feelings for you. You dont know her that well and she is your boss.

I have said this earlier and will say this for one last time, she ain't my boss, just another workers working at the human resources. Whether she likes me or not won't matter, at least I know I tried, won't have any regrets.

[umi]

You want to go out with someone from human resources! lmfao!!!

That's what you call irony.

I get what you are saying lol

[Doc Durian]

Nothing wrong with flings in that age difference, but for relationships, it's difficult. Priorities tend to be different, and they continue changing all along the way of the relationship.

Unless both are absolute hornballs in the sack. In that case, priorities be damned.

[Rob26]

I take it you are very inexperienced since you are having such strong fantasies about someone you hardly know.

If you approach her, try not to come on too strong, or it may seem weird.

I think it'd be better for you to ask out much younger girls -- like 18.