4 months of low contact and..

[Bigboy77]

So me and my gf of 4 years broke up 4 months ago..
I was DEVASTATED!!
I went NC immediately and went through the whole spectrum of emotions.

The break up hit me SO bad that I attempted suicide.
After surviving my suicide attempt (embarrassingly enough) I started to rise up!

She hit me down so HARD that I smashed into rock bottom and ricocheted back up three times as high!!

I've done everything right.

-I'm in the best shape I've ever been in.
-I've cleared my skin up.
-Been going to a tanning salon.
-Been thinking positively everyday and being very enthusiastic about everything.
-Entirely rearranged my wardrobe into classy outfits only.
-Made tons of new female friends

She contacted me about 7 times during the 4 months.. but they were never about us getting back together..I was friendly but i always cut the conversations short and never let her know a thing I was up to because i could tell I needed to hold off in order to win her back.

Anyway during these 4 months i have stayed very close to her family ( she is 1000 miles away at the moment). She is coming home in a week so i will see her for the first time in 4 months.

I'm a little unsure of how I should act because I still want this girl back. Key word there is "want" because I don't NEED her back.

My mental state for it is as follows : I'm not going to be a prissy whipped boy, but I am going to show I care for her and at the same time pull back and show I am not eager for a relationship right away. I'm going to be happy and stay in my own positive world and if she telegraphs interest it's on.

How do you guys think I should act on my first interaction with her in 4 months? Or just anything in general that might help.

[Bumble_bee]

Don't 'act' just be real, she broke you, you fixed yourself, good going.

show her you missed her but that your moving forward, that way she won't feel its all to get her back, but that you still have feelings for her but your man enough to respect her decision.

Hang out with her, stay kool, you already know what to do , you managed the break-up fantastically...go with the flow

[Bigboy77]

thank you.

[Yggdrasil]

That's all pretty cool and stuff... but you left the most important part of information out: WHY DID YOU GUYS BREAK UP in the first place?

[Rollerderby]

Exactly as ygg said. It's hard to determine if this is a worthwhile relashe if we don't even know what drove you to break up.

My read from this is that, this girl tore you up... so what makes you think that while you changed, she did too? If you weren't good enough for her then...

[SAVANAH]

I agree, is she even worth going back to?

In order to understand the situation fully, we need to know what happened.

But thumbs up for "picking up the pieces" you did really well, just remember one thing.... how do you break the heart of someone you love? I never get that, we all know it, but yet we still run back in one way or the other, maybe it's closure you want?
If someone hurt you once they could do it again, if you meet up again and she wants you back let her work for it, that's if the reason you broke up was cause of her.
I'd never be able to break the heart of someone I love, would never want to see them suffer, remember that's how love is, before you attempt going back.

But as I said we need more info.

[Bigboy77]

she lost feelings for me then i chased her

[Doc Durian]

Never chase. Question, sure. But if they make the break. You sweep up the pieces right then and there, in their view, and move on.

When you've fallen for a girl, especially if you've readily considered asking them to marry you, you're compromised.

Or weakened.

If they turn on a dime, reasons unknown, and attempt to shuffle you off after pushing you to arrive to that point. They're weak but think themselves stronger by their ability to act.

It's imperative that you show no emotion, show no bother. You just gracefully exit.

Leave them hanging and find the quickest manner in which to move on with your own life.

Cut all ties possible, never be forthcoming with any info about your new life if approached and questioned, and never offer an explanation about your thoughts, feelings, concerns.

Put them back into the void like a picked up supermarket item you've later decided half way into your shop that you don't want or need.

It's the best hope for the future, while being the best revenge. If she comes back... it's on your terms, if she stays away, again still on your terms and you've revisited upon her the same you've experienced by her hand, tenfold.

This is the gentlemens code of yore.

It has served mankind for thousands of years without a hiccup and women are powerless to counter it or forget it.

Women need to be reminded of this code from time to time.

They think they own all the cards now.

Good luck, and man up... (half jokingly and not condescendingly)

[Bigboy77]

sounds good