Am I Jealous? Am I justified?

[jimdandy]

I don't consider myself a jealous person, but I think I'm being jealous and want some input from you guys.

I recently started dating a girl who claimed to be "ashamed" of her past. I told her the past is just that and doesn't matter, it's the future that is important.

I meant it.

However, I just realized that all her guy friends she has are guys that she has had "pasts" with. She didn't have a relationship with these guys, but she just fooled around with them. More than kissing, less than full on sex.

One of these guys invited her to a going away party, he's moved away. He's also texted her since he moved telling her to come visit him and how much the greyhound costs and that she can "not tell me".

Another of these guys is someone that she actually hangs out with on a regular basis. She told me she was going to invite him over to watch a movie a while back. I just found out that the bad pasts that she's ashamed of are with these guys. Now she claims they are just friends.

I would never dream of telling a girl who she can or cannot hang out with, but I feel very awkward and, honestly, jealous about this. I trust her, she tells me everything... but is it ok for you to hang out with someone you've fooled around with and claim you ashamed of it? And also, why did she wait until 3 months into the relationship to tell me this.

Am I just going to have to deal with it or is she in the wrong? I honestly don't know haha, so maybe some consensus can be reached here.

[damn2008]

I would be honest and direct with her...but do it calmly. You tell her that you are uncomfortable with the fact that she maintains contact with these guys. And by doing so she is "egging" them on in some way...why else would one ask to visit and then she'll invite another over to watch a movie? Huh?

Really bizarre. You're not being jealous, you're being cautious. But keep in mind you're also just 3 months "in" which is a fresh time as well.

[lovehost]

Whatever you are going through is natural. Either go for a open conversation with her to sort out the matter or give your relationship some time to actually find out what she thinks about you.