trust issues!! :( - Love Forum

neo511 · #1 (**permalink**) 14-07-04, 05:10 AM

i love my girlfriend of more than 6 months very much. The problem Im dealing with .. is that, she is going to be turning 21 pretty soon and is going to want to go out and party with her friends and people who want to take her out. The thing is.. i am not a party person, nor do i drink, so, i guess i worry that she is going to think partying is more important than me..
we have had tons of arguements about drinking in the past, and i have gotten used to it, but, she thinks just because shes 21, means she is allowed to go out whenever she wants.. shes not an alcoholic by anymeans, but im worried with her new "legality" she will find partying more important than our relationship.. PLEASE HELP !! thank you sooo much in advance!
robert

neo511 · #2 (**permalink**) 14-07-04, 05:12 AM

P.S.
i could go to the clubs with her.. but HATE club atmospheres.. and id would rather not.. THX!!!

Rach · #3 (**permalink**) 14-07-04, 05:35 AM

Well, you don't know for sure that she'll do that. BUT, if she desides to go out with her friends sometimes to clubs, you will just have to learn to trust her. Even in a relationship, sometimes you just need a night out with the girls/guys. But, if she begins to want to go out to clubs/bars on a regular basis, ask if you can tag a long, or just sit and talk with her and tell her you feel a little uncomforablte with her doing that all the time.

Good luck with that, But I hope you don't even need the advice of this page. Maybe she won't be that fascinated with the bar scene anyway.

squirrley · #4 (**permalink**) 14-07-04, 05:56 AM

Ok from experience dated a guy younger than me-I hit 21 and i was out at the bars everyweekend because I COULD! There was no intention of hooking up with anyone but going out with friends and having innocent fun-dancing and drinking some! THATS IT! You must already have trust in your relationship after 6 months this shouldnt change anything but because youre not into that scene youre uncomfortable with her going out and the possibilty of her priorities shifiting-they wont or they shouldnt anyway if she feels the same about you.

You should be in a position of security here-youve been together for 6 months and have established a foundation. Let her do her thing cause if you start demanding things from her your relationship will go down the tubes fast and she will resent you for it. So spend as much time as you can with her during the week and trust in her when she does go out with her friends. Tag along now and then for HER! When you love someone you do things for them and this would prove you can do things together even if the other isnt into that particular thing-its a give and take thing. You dont always have to go but a couple of times here and there would be nice.

And in the meantime-she'll probably outgrow the bar scene-gets boring after awhile of the same old same old scene. Have faith and trust in your girlfriend.