Please Help Me!!! Or At Least Kill Me!!! - Love Forum

2deepinluv2stop · #1 (**permalink**) 14-07-04, 01:41 AM

I know exactly what you are goin through....I am 100% with out a doubt in Love (i have never used that word other than with her and my first GF) with my best friend, and see is seeing some clown whom i dont trust nor do I really like due to certain circumstances... I have tried getting over it but that dosent work..... I have told her how I feel, and she tells me 'o, i know u and I would be perfect for one anouther, but i have to see this through' and 'If you would have asked me 4 months ago if i had feelings for you i would have said nothing other than friendship, but i now do have feelings for you but not as strong as mine for him' and 'i could see me and you together me in your arms watching the sunset and talking' and my personal favorite 'I do love you, like a brother....'
she sends so many mixed signals, like when I pay attention to another girl, right away that girls a B!T(H or a WH@RE, or ugly and she gets pissy....... she'll have me give her foot rubs and back rubs in front of this kid shes dating, she tells him (while she's completely exhausted and out of her head) 'Jerry's a better boyfriend than you....' but she also tells me that she wants to marry him, that she loves him, and she slept with him after 2 weeks....
Me and her are so close, and her BF hates it, her parents think we should be together, our other best friend Angel has even told me there could be a lil hope... i have tried to get over her, but my feelings are so strong for her it kills me to try and play nice with her BF cause i know he'll hurt her in the long run......

I've tried to get over her, butI can't and I know that this coming into the picture like he did threw fate off course, because even my friend Angel said to me one night, "watching you to while you were rubbing her feet, i knew what you were thinkin, yoo were thinking 'this is how it was meant to be' " (i was thinkin that) and then Angel said "I know that you would be together if it weren't for him too"

What should I do?

Konstantine · #2 (**permalink**) 14-07-04, 08:04 AM

It seems that since you guys are such good friends, she doesn't exactly want you right now, but she doesn't want anyone to have you either. It's like she's so used to you being the one to do things for her, to care about her, that she takes you for granted. I know it's so hard letting go, but until she breaks it off with this guy for good (if she ever does), you should find another girl that is worth your time.

Cybog · #3 (**permalink**) 14-07-04, 10:34 AM

2deep, she is using you - plain and simple. You are her shoulder to cry on. You are her little toy that she runs to whe she is bored, and whom she will run to when this relationship she is in now, turns sour.

You are what is commonly referred to as: The Fall Back Plan.

Stop talking to her with the idea in mind that you are in love with her. You need to cease having those thoughts. The only thing she will feel for you is friendship. Its obvious this girl is not in love with you. And if she ever lied to you and said she was in love, she would only be further using you to obtain that which she desires.

You cannot will someone to love you, and when it is obvious that she doesnt, you are only defeating yourself by still pining over her.

I had to be harsh, but love is. And until you step outside of the ring and look at things for face value, as what they really are, you will continue this false idea with this girl that there is hope.

Cybog · #4 (**permalink**) 14-07-04, 10:35 AM

P.S. - Call Angel, and ask her out on a date. See what she says.

2deepinluv2stop · #5 (**permalink**) 14-07-04, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cybog

P.S. - Call Angel, and ask her out on a date. See what she says.

been there done that, Angel is gettin over a bad break up, and likes just bein friends with me..

BTW I went out with a girl i work with tonight, and we ate dinner at this place called Larry's, and this girl that I love works there, she was so mean, and so nasty to me for bein with another girl, i never seen her be so cold..... when her boss asked for a intro, she said o this is my friend jerry (when she normally introduces me as her BEST friend Jerry!) then when I and my work friend were finished i told her I'd be back to hang with her after work... she was loke "no i have my car!" and I said ok well are we still goin out after you get off "and she muttered something under her breath about ".....not with her....."

what do ya make off her behavior when she saw me with anouther girl?

Cybog · #6 (**permalink**) 14-07-04, 02:23 PM

Did you read what I posted above??

She is using you as a toy!

She isnt your girlfriend! Why does it matter what her behavior was?

At what point in your lives did who YOU dated (or went out to dinner with) ever become a concern of hers? Did she ask YOU for permission to date HER current boyfriend? NO, she didnt. Apparently she doesnt really care what YOU think about her situation. Thats why she continues to walk over you.

She KNEW you were going to get upset at her actions. Thats the only reason she did what she did! She is an attention seeking....you fill in the rest.

Her implied jealousy is only one of her characteristics. She is attempting to control you, control your feelings (by keeping you at arms distance), and now, trying to control who YOU see.

Why do you put up with this again?

2deepinluv2stop · #7 (**permalink**) 15-07-04, 06:36 AM

cause i love her

Cybog · #8 (**permalink**) 15-07-04, 09:40 AM

Quote:

I am 100% with out a doubt in Love (i have never used that word other than with her and my first GF)

How many poeple have you dated total since, oh, the age of 16?

2deepinluv2stop · #9 (**permalink**) 16-07-04, 04:18 AM

about 8 no long term 3 months the most my first GF and i were 1 1/2 year

GBRaul · #10 (**permalink**) 17-07-04, 11:49 AM

i haf to agree wif cybog on tis one... she IS using u as a toy... she's treatin u like someone to grab onto when she's in between b/fs. She jus wans u to b there at her beck n call... u shudn't fall for it! Granted tt guys do haf a soft spot for girls... as I believe I do... but yea u shud b movin on. If she's serious abt u but for some reason is wif tt other prick... she wud probably have broken up wif tt guy already imo. Rite now wat i tink u shud do is to break contact wif her and make urself available. After all, u nid to let her kno how u feel and the best way to do tt is to make her feel wat u r feelin! If she doesn't respond, as hard as it is to accept, she's not the one for u m8.

I hav a cuz who wuz lyk u too... i'm sure he felt the same feelings as u do now for some girl, but he decided to jus break off contact wif tt girl and moved on. Now he's goin to get married!