Single, Looking but REALLY SHY! (Females please help) - Love Forum

whitedragon20na · #1 (**permalink**) 17-07-04, 03:36 PM

I'm single again and I'm a really shy person. I have trouble talking to girls, period. While in IL with my friend Becky I actually talked to a girl and got her phone # but unfortunately she lives there and I live here (CO). So I figure I should get some advice on how to approach girls that I think are pretty or cute and whatnot. Just need some help because I'm really shy and I'm overweight so my self confidence is pretty much non existant.
Any help would be greatly appriciated.

english lad · #2 (**permalink**) 17-07-04, 08:59 PM

why don't you just try doing what u did to get that girls number? But do it in CO this time.

Getting her number should give u enough confidence to start looking again?

drakdragon · #3 (**permalink**) 18-07-04, 06:55 AM

I'm very shy too, I'm trying to get over it, but its hard. I've went up to a few girls before but they all ended in rejection. I know that if I wasnt shy and was able to start talking to people more, I'd be introduced to more and more people and I'd eventually find/get a girlfriend, but I get very nervous when i'm about to go up to a girl, I tend to stumble on my words,etc... I do have a few female friends though, after getting to know a girl or if she says the first word, i'm not nervous at all, i can talk all night, its only when i have to make the first move...

shenmue · #4 (**permalink**) 20-07-04, 02:29 AM

well, hang in there, spounds easier than it is, I know, and just keep trying, you're going to take a lot of shots before you hit the bullseye, watch for rings on the wedding ring finger, left hand ring finger. And remember, if she's mean, then **** her, there are plenty more. Good luck, let me know if I can help you man, cause I've been in this situation, IM me if you need to. I can ask my GF for a lady's perspective too. Just get out there and do it, and don't beat yourself up over any mistakes.

GBRaul · #5 (**permalink**) 25-07-04, 09:49 PM

hmm... I'm overweight too. Oh well. I think girls judge by appearances alot more than they care to admit. But all around this forum I see that confidence is like DA THING! So... confidence is important. Concentrate more on what you feel good about yourself. Believe in yourself. I think that's very important. But easier said than done I guess. I'm not even sure whether i practise what i preach haha...

Yep, I'm also single and looking. I have been rejected just once though. There must be something wrong with me or something. Cos I can talk at ease to anyone except for that one special girl I like. When I talk to her I just get tongue-tied! *smacks head against wall over and over* Oh well it's over now... sighz... back to reality for me...

Ratfish256 · #6 (**permalink**) 26-07-04, 12:49 AM

Clear you mind before you do. I am extreamly shy but I find if I think to myself a riddel with no awnser it helps alot. It may sound stupid but I have found the line from the matrix "There is no spoon" very helpful for that. For some reason it just covers my other thoughts.

dragoon · #7 (**permalink**) 27-07-04, 11:33 PM

Lose weight. Yes, that's hard to do, but if you keep the benefits in mind it's well worth it. Your self image will increase dramatically. And exercising releases endorphins which give you a natural high and increased confidence. When you have a regular exercise regime, you're slightly higher than normal all the time, it's great. I lost 55 lbs and now I've got girls flirting with me and saying how cute I am all the time, another huge confidence booster.

Love yourself. You have to know you are worth it. You're a great person with good qualities and a girl would be lucky to be with you. You have to know it. Ever seen those arrogant pricks (who aren't always even that good looking) getting the girls? They're confidence is a large reason why. They know they're the shit, even if they're not. It's all in the mind.

The girl in IL, you probably were able to get her number because you were so out of context it was like a "who cares what happens" situation. Get that mindset going in your local area. Don't jump into her mind worrying what she is thinking, stay firmly planted in your own head and do and say what you want. You'll act more natural, be more confident, and that will lead to success. When you start worrying what she's thinking of you, it's over.

Watch other people and learn from them. Like last night I was on a date with this girl, she started talking about Big Lots of all things (Big Lots is a surplus store). She just didn't care, it popped into her head and she started talking about it. Didn't bother me a bit. If you're so worried that what you say may come across as stupid, observe others. People say "stupid" things all the time.