The Friend Blues

[Nail the Hammer]

So I have fell for a friend of mine.

My best friend, lets call him John went out with a girl, and we'll call her Jane. They went out for about a month back in March, and John went on a cruise, and cheated on Jane with a chick he met. He dumped her, and I've been talking to Jane for awhile now, since March. We talk a lot, and hang out occasionally. She stalked him for awhile, but she seems to be over John. Over the time I've known Jane, we've become loser, and we talk a lot. We have a lot in common. Now I'm not a good looking guy at all. I am overweight, at about 260 pounds or so. I am not really outgoing around girls, but with her, I am pretty outgoing. I did a lot of thinking and I came to the realization that I like Jane as more than just friends. I had my cell phone with me while I was gone for a week, and I started to text her, dropping her hints and stuff. She ended up calling my best friend and said, "I think Bob likes me, but I don't know how I feel."

Jane is away on a conference this week until Friday, so I texted her and told her how I felt. Yes, I know it is cheesy how I went about telling her how I feel, but I got a response from her, and she said that she doesn't want a relationship with someone who is good friends with one of her exs. I then pointed out to her that she hasn't had a good relationship because every guy she has been with has cheated on her somehow. I told her that if she gave me a shot, I could change that. She then responded telling me that she just doesn't feel the same right now. She has been known to be the kind of girl who is shallow, and a lot of girls are.

Basically, I really like Jane, and she is the kind of girl I could enjoy a relationship with, but I don't know how it is going to work out. Any ideas on how to win her over would be really great. I know it's cheesy, but I don't want to give up.

[Curlz]

Don't know if it's possible to save it. You seemed to be doing alright up until you actually told her how you feel. Personally, I'd back off a lot, stay friends and look for other women. If it happens, it happens; if it doesn't, it doesn't. MVPlaya has some good stuff on making yourself attractive to women. Read it.

Oh yeah, not trying to be insensitive or anything, but if you're such a big lad, consider seeing a dietician and going to the gym. At the least it will improve your confidence and your health.

[Nail the Hammer]

I've been on a diet and I've lost upwards of 30 pounds so far, and I am continuing to eat the way I have been and exercising, so hopefully with time, I will actually be a normal weight for once in my life. It would be wonderful.

[Curlz]

Good work man! but think positive. "Will be wonderful. and just remember, do it for yourself, not for anyone else. Way to go!

[Nail the Hammer]

I talked to Jane for a few tonight. She went to a dance at a conference she is at and told me she basically wants to keep her options open, and remain single, because she hasn't had so much fun in a long time dancing with different guys. I can respect her decision. I just hope she was telling me the truth.

[Curlz]

And if she wasn't telling the truth? Look man, in the scheme of things it really doesn't matter. It's another experience for you, learn from it. If you're not good at meeting people, join some type of activity or sport or... you get my drift? It's a way to meet more people. And increase your life experiences. And it will give you someting to break the ice with when you are talking to these new women. Don't put your life on hold waiting to get Jane, cause it may not happen. And one thing that I can tell you for certain, if she thinks that you are waiting for her, it WON'T happen. I know this from (painful) experience.

[French056]

Try to know what does she think about you ? If you are cute for her etc... And if she does love you it does not count if you are a ex's friend