Please help!!

[Innocence]

Hi Guys

I'm new here...and I have a bit of a problem, I'm 17, 18 this year and well...I've never had a boyfriend ...and I mean ever...no first kiss or anything, so you pretty much would of guessed my username of "Innocence".

Okay, my problem is a tricky one, and I hope that someone can help me out there!!!

I like this guy that I work with, I have gone out with him to the movies three times, just me, my friends, him and his friends. We are really nervous around each other, and can't really talk to each other face to face, but over msn messenger, we flirt and talk non stop. We also have so much in commen that its kinda scary.

I have told him that I think he's gorgeous, and handsome etc...we talk about relationships all the time. My question is, are males really daft, and he might not have a clue that I like him, or does he know that I like him, but he doesn't like me, so he won't say anything about it?!

Please, please, someone help me!! I'm so confused!!!

Thanks, Innocence xx

[GBRaul]

Hi... I'm the same age as u and I have not had any first kiss or anything either. So nothing to worry about! (in my opinion)

Anyway, being very inexperienced myself too (i've only liked one girl b4 and screwed that one big time, but that's for a different story), I don't know if i can help but I'll try.

You said he flirts with you online but he's nervous around you. Hey, maybe he likes you too right? Unless you initiate all the flirting, and he's just being courteous. But when it comes to flirting, in my opinion, guys would not flirt with girls anyhow without having any feelings for them. After all, that can get him into some problems when the girl ends up clinging to him like a barnacle!

Also, since you told him right in his face you think he's gorgeous, I think he gets the drift. He should know you are one nice innocent girl so he should know that you are not toying with his feelings. Judging by what you say, I think that he's also into his first relationship. He probably has absolutely no idea what the heck to do and is afraid he would screw this up, especially since you probably had not directly told him u loved him or anything like that right? Or maybe his parents are against him having a relationship at this time. Or maybe you are in fact not his first and he just got off one horrid relationship? That could cause a mental block when it comes to accepting another so soon. I think you should really talk to him about it like ask him how he feels about you one day after one of those get togethers with both your friends or something. If he does not like you then just be friends and be cool about it. I feel that you should not waste your time with him if he doesn't like you. But you can still be friends. Who knows? One of his friends who you may or may not have met might be the special one for you and he might intro you to that other guy? But if he likes you, well that's a different matter now ain't it?

How old is he? If he's younger than you that might also cause a mental block on his part. But since you are WORKING together, I think that he should be about your age eh?

Well, that's about all I have to say now. Good luck mate!

[Reign]

You said you talk about relationships?
Has he ever mentioned a previous relationship?

If he hasn't he probably is embarrassed(sp?) that he hasnt had one. Its hard to admit openly never having a relationship. Does he know you have never had a relationship? If you can bring yourself to tell him you havnt it might be a confidence booster to him. Can you imagine him thinking hes just going to make a total moron of himself thinking you are experienced in relationships and he is not.

Does he ALWAYS sit next to you if given the chance? Does he ever glance at you when you would normally think someone wouldn't. Basically does he devote attention to you above and beyond other people around? of course if he is as shy as you say this attention might not be vocal. He may try to walk near you when he can etc.

How did he respond when you said he was gorgeous? I assume it was online you said this or you really arnt as shy as you said face to face .

If he's painfully shy around you but not others Id think he likes you.

I think everyone deals with this problem at least once if not numerous more times in their life. The time it takes to build the courrage lessens with age.

If hes a mature and nice guy just be flat out honest with him. You dont even have to do it face to face. He probably wont care if you seem to shy to say so in person. If you like him as a friend say so.

[Innocence]

Thanx guys...you are so much help already!!...I'm so glad I joined this forum!!

Okay...to answer some of the questions...

"Has he ever mentioned a previous relationship?"...ohh yeah..he's mentioned previous relationships...he's showed me pictures of his ex-girlfriends, he's told me that all of his ex-girlfriends where mean to him. He has also told me that the last time he asked out a girl, she cheated on him the next night, so he won't ask out a girl...and I told him, that being that I've never had a boyfriend, I wouldn't ask out a bloke for the first time....


"How did he respond when you said he was gorgeous?" ... that was funny...the conversation started because a customer called up at work and said my voice was 'very sexy, when I got the croakiness in it' and I told this to ..lets call him...Mr Frodo Baggins - my interest/ obsession (lol) and he was very shocked by this, and he said that he's never gotton compliments before, so I told him, that he's gorgeous, and he did a little blushing face emoticon, and kept going 'no I'm not'...but I kept saying it..etc..etc....he likes being called it!!...so when I call him gorgeous he just acts all shy...and I definately said that to him online!!!...I wouldn't have the guts to say it to him face to face!!

"How old is he?"...he is one year older than me, he's 18..turning 19 this year, if that is any help!

I don't think that I would be able to ask him out...I'm just too shy...and I am terrified of rejection, especially because I would still have to work with him!! Which would be really awkward....

BTW - A while ago at one of my work collegues party, there was a rumour going around with some people saying that me and Mr Frodo were together...which he told them all off about...I wasn't there for the party, and I also heard nothing about this, so as you can imagine, I was pretty shocked when he told me!! I liked that rumour...I wish it was true

Thanks for your help again guys!!!

Luv Innocence xx

[GBRaul]

My guess is that this guy likes you. I mean if he's shy around you he should be shy online too, unless he likes you. I don't know. But seriously, he probably is not as shy online cos he doesn't get all tongue-tied since he isn't looking at you. Plus, he might be kicking himself for not being able to talk to you like he does online when he's face to face with you.

Anyway, don't rush into things. You two work together and have a long time ahead of you (you are still teens!).

And he showed you pictures of his ex's. Hey, I think he's trying to see your reaction! He probably wants to know whether you would be like all his ex's and cheat on him or be mean to him. Also, he slipped in a remark that he won't ask out a girl. Therefore, he's making a VERY BIG hint to you that you should be asking him out!

Make the move, ask him out. Don't take it too personally if he rejects you (which he probably won't), cos as i said earlier, you two have a long time ahead of you. And maybe he really has just come off a horrid relationship and he's trying to break through that mental block of dating again. Take things one step at a time.

Just be yourself, and tell him that he can be himself around you. I think this guy needs some assurances...

Good luck!

[Ratfish256]

Your going to have to make the first move. Give him a call sometime and ask him to go somewhere with you. Don't do it on msn its too impersonal. Just ask Jules how important it is to make the call . She was in a similar situation, then she made the call and got the date. Given his past experience he may just be afraid that something bad will happen between you. By the way, did I say you should make the call yet?

[Grim-Life]

there is a problem with the world today
they think they are ALONE if they have not had a relation ship before

I AM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE

lol just wanted to say that and i am glad that there is at least one person out there that is some what simmilar in the relation ship scale to me


oh and im a guy

[Innocence]

Thanx everyone...you've all made me feel so much better. I always thought that I was the only one that has never been in a relationship before, that I was some sort of freak!!

But now that I know that there are so many people in similiar situations I feel a lot better about myself....althought, I still would love to have my first kiss sometime soon!!!!

Thanx again
Luv Innocence xxx

[Grim-Life]

YOUR ONE OF US (grim says in a drone like voice)
no lol

ah first kiss i dream of that something romantic like her in my arms her blue eyes full of tears weather it be from the rain or whatever had happened recently. from the rain her beautifull long blond hair soaked. but neather of us care as we look into eachothers eyes. its dark and the streetlamp above us shines a glow over us like an angel shines its holy light. "dont look at me, my make up is all messed up" she says turning her head "you know your cute when you cry ... but your beautifull when you smile" she looks at me supprised and it is at that moment that we kiss holding eachother tightly.

AHH !!!!! im a guy and im imagining stuff like this mby i should post a forum should guys act like i doo!!!!!!

oh well its great that you have finaly realised your not alone LOVE IS SUCH A LOVELY THING PITTY THAT EVERY ONE CANT OBTAIN IT

"there are plenty more fish in the sea" "but i dont like fish ... i like humans"

[Innocence]

Hi Grim

you have quite a imagination!!! I didn't make up a story like that in my head!! hehehehe...

but I want my first kiss NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOWN OWN OWNO WNWONWONWONOWNWOWNWOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNWOWO!!! I really do!!!!!....

Not trying to offend any blokes out there, but I'm sick of your DAFTNESS!!!!.... I would like some ACTION!!...and I want some NOW!!!

Thanks...it was good to get that out of my system!!

Luv Innocence xxx

[Innocence]

Me yet again!!

Just had to add a bit to my story...

Today, was FANTASTIC!!!...once again, we messeged each other all day, he was so sweet!!...we talked about a lot of stuff like we usually do....but the interesting bit of the conversation is when he asked me if I was doing anything this weekend!...I said.."I'm doing my usual...bumming"...as I usually do!! ... my weekends are pretty boring...probably because I'm still undersage! Which totally sucks!!!

Anyway...once he asked me what I was doing this weekend...he goes.."Do I have your number?"...and I'm like.."Umm...yeah..I think so...but of course you probably didn't write it in when you got it"..and he checked...and he does have my number...but the shocking part of it was HE ASKED FOR MY NUMBER!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!...I'm definately turning my phone on loud this weekend!!!!!!!!

Cross fingers he will call!!...I will let you all know the progress as it goes on!!!!

Luv you all
Innocence xxxx

[Grim-Life]

lol i do i think its cause i watch to much love story/ comedy anime CHOBITS

warning it wrecks your social life

oh well being 17 and in serious need of a new hobby is kinda fun with a good sence of humor

oh and lol i wish the girls in my year would stop REMEMBERING my former version IM UPDATED im now version 2.1 oh well i can keep on dreaming

and tonights dream is ... Grim saves girl from evil maniac trying to marry her off my arch enemy

[GBRaul]

Innocence: I think he's gonna call. But don't be too sad if he doesn't. Long time ahead of ya (like I always say).

And we are not daft. It's just society that says males should always take the lead. For some of us guys (including me sometimes) we are too shy or unsure of ourselves so we don't do anything!

[GBRaul]

Regarding my previous post: I realise that's realli stupid though, that thing about not doing anything. I know now that if I want something I gotta go out and get it. NO DOUBTS! NO MORE! Sigh, I still love my first love anywayz...

Waiting for that special girl who would toss my thoughts of that first girl to the wind.

[Innocence]

me again!!

Just wondering is it making a difference because we work together?

Is that why he's not making a move? Because we work together and he thinks that it might get uncomfortable?