Dating "down"? - Love Forum

Off2College · #1 (**permalink**) 18-12-07, 01:53 PM

How many of you have experience with dating someone from a lower social class or income bracket?

I admit that I'm sort of a jerk when it comes to these things because I don't want to be financially responsible for a girl from a family with a lower income bracket. Social class isn't important, but income bracket is pretty important...

atomicdefection · #2 (**permalink**) 18-12-07, 03:19 PM

In ways I see what your saying here and in others I guess it sounds kind of self-centered? Maybe that’s not quite the word I’m looking for. But I see where you are coming from on not wanting to support someone who isn’t willing to try and help, but if the other is at least trying and making an effort, what is there to be questioned? Now if there the bottom feeder type, that’s a different story.

vashti · #3 (**permalink**) 18-12-07, 10:03 PM

What is it you are worried about being financially responsible for?

Gigabitch · #4 (**permalink**) 19-12-07, 05:55 AM

I've done this, and I'm glad I did. It was a view into a different world.

Look, O2C, you don't have to take this dating thing so seriously. Dating doesn't imply marriage. Sample the buffet, dude.

Tedel · #5 (**permalink**) 20-12-07, 12:04 AM

I have. I met other way to live, to see life, to tidy up their stuff, to treat their relatives, to share... It was nice.

He/she is just another person, another human being... the rest are just mental barriers.

vashti · #6 (**permalink**) 20-12-07, 12:18 AM

Frankly, I would think dating a female from a lower socioeconomic class would be a nice change. They are much more likely to appreciate your attempts at generosity, and are often less frivolous with money.

On the other hand, sometimes wealthier guys are a bit of a pain in the a$$ because they assume they are valued primarily for their money.

DoesntMatter · #7 (**permalink**) 20-12-07, 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

On the other hand, sometimes wealthier guys are a bit of a pain in the a$$ because they assume they are valued primarily for their money.

I don't blame them. When I'm making a lot of money I'll probably end up treating girls like shit because they don't even notice me now

O2C, I personally have always liked girls with a work ethic (just how I like anyone who has a work ethic). Such as, if a girl is from a lower income bracket but works a lot to pay for college or whatever, I find that attractive. If she is from a low social bracket but makes no effort to move up, you should be a little more wary. And by a little I mean a lot

j_r_l · #8 (**permalink**) 20-12-07, 03:16 AM

Well how low is low? And how high is high?

Look at me, I'm college educated and live an aparently middle class life. I've never managed to make more than 30k in a year though. I'm often hard up for money. This year, for the first time in my life, I started working a job that I actually make good money. It's a job I could have started out of high school if I felt like it. Many of our guys are complete morons, not derogatory, but they are fvcktards. That's concrete work for you. It's a lower class than I've ever been exposed to yet every one of these guys is making a ton more money than I ever did as a teacher. So am I. Just because of their mentality, I can't spend too long with them though. I do my job and go home, I'm not social with them.

What's the point of the above rant? Maybe to illustrate that personality mesh has more to do with mentality and education than money.

DoesntMatter · #9 (**permalink**) 20-12-07, 04:36 AM

A college education from today is like the equivalent of a high school education from 50 years ago. It's really not saying much

What matters is the the degree you got, the college you went to, and your major. The people I know going to the community college majoring in basket weaving... Have a pretty bleak future

Mishanya · #10 (**permalink**) 20-12-07, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Off2College

How many of you have experience with dating someone from a lower social class or income bracket?

I admit that I'm sort of a jerk when it comes to these things because I don't want to be financially responsible for a girl from a family with a lower income bracket. Social class isn't important, but income bracket is pretty important...

Meh, what difference does it make? Once you marry them and have kids you'll be paying for them staying at home anyway.

Off2College · #11 (**permalink**) 20-12-07, 02:21 PM

I also really find hardworking girls attractive. But what I mean by being financially responsible is that I don't want to have to talk about little money all the time. Many of my guy friends are like that from back home, and it is annoying. My first girlfriend (short-lived relationship) was like that because she's from a low-bracket family who lives on a farm. I'm not championing frivolous spending, but I mean, I don't like people who count the small stuff and people who are just reluctant to spend money all the time.

Only-virgins · #12 (**permalink**) 20-12-07, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoesntMatter

A college education from today is like the equivalent of a high school education from 50 years ago. It's really not saying much

What matters is the the degree you got, the college you went to, and your major. The people I know going to the community college majoring in basket weaving... Have a pretty bleak future

Sad but true. I had to work for a Masters because in the science field anything below that is not going to get you far....maybe an assistant.

j_r_l · #13 (**permalink**) 21-12-07, 01:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Only-virgins

Sad but true. I had to work for a Masters because in the science field anything below that is not going to get you far....maybe an assistant.

I agree but only a little. If you want to work for someone in your chosen field "IE: Here's my qualifications and experience, pay me what I'm worth", then you need as much education as you can afford then a bit more.

The wealthiest people I know have little to no higher education and have found something that works well for them. Bachelor and even most master degree folks tend to be quite middle class. Not a bad life but it's not significantly more until you're highly qualified and highly specialized.

I personally don't feel the need to go to 4 more years of school and more debt for money. Passion for your subject is the only reason to seek out a post graduate degree. Don't kid yourself that the money is going to be that much better.

Mathias · #14 (**permalink**) 21-12-07, 03:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoesntMatter

I don't blame them. When I'm making a lot of money I'll probably end up treating girls like shit because they don't even notice me now

Please don't do this. As a guy that makes a lot of money at a young age, I don't think I could be happy treating people this way as some sort of revenge for my early teenage years.

When you get there, enjoy it--but don't take advantage of people.

bebi · #15 (**permalink**) 21-12-07, 03:24 AM

actually loving a person is what you would adhere to if you really wanted to keep a relationship. if everyone in the world were to worry about income brackets, that would lead to a pretty fake world filled with fake relationships. from your type, you'll probably go around dating, but it'll be hard for you to remain committed. we cannot base individuals on social classes and then from there, decide if we're going to date them. isn't marriage all a part of building a family together and managing financies together? the family may not be financially stable or have "high enough income brackets" for you, but that does not mean that the girl you're seeing/dating will not wind up as a lawyer or doctor. lower brackets doesn't mean lower education or less successful careers.