| Could use some honest advice So, I am a 20 year old male, and I have been in a relationship with the same girl since March of 2003. Wow, this could be a long post if I typed everything....I'll try to be short. This girl was in a year long relationship before me, and about maybe a month after they broke up, she got drunk and had sex with another guy - needless to say even though she and her ex were broken up, he was not happy, as they were still talking and trying to work it out at the time. Fast forward to March, and her and I begin dating. Everything is fine at first, but the first warning sign for me was being at her house, and reading an email she had accidentally left up on her computer - a conversation with the previously said "other guy"....talking about their little sexcapade and how they both thought it was pretty great, and he admitting he always had a crush on her, etc.
I confronted her about this, and was lied to at first, then I put the email in front of her face, and she spilled the beans. We broke up over this for a while, not because of the convo - I could care less - but that I HATE being lied to. Relationships should be built on trust.
But heres the real meat and potatoes...maybe around mid-late June she started hanging out with this questionable group of friends, I swear I am not saying this as a possessive boyfriend, they really are bad people. One of them is basically a slut, the other one is a spoiled brat, and the third is already pregnant (shes one of those adolescents you see on Maury Povich, wanting a kid, but WAY too immature).
The red light immediately goes off in my head, I say nothing to her, only that I would appreciate spending equal amount of time with her as she does with her friends (I hang out with my guy friends quite a bit too). This eventually turns into her "wanting to take a break", and telling me the spark is gone, and she wants to seperate. She plays games with me for a few weeks, and on the fourth of july, she was just saying awful #### to me, and while I was drunk, I slapped her. As bad as I feel about it, I have never hit a girl, and felt awful about it - so as much as I feel bad, I don't hold it against myself....I don't consider myself a violent person and it was an isolated incident. Anyway, this provoked her to completely ignore me for three weeks, even though I tried to apologize numerous times. I later find out she has been spending a lot of time with this other guy named Adam.
Fast forward again, I get an email out of nowhere from her, saying she wants to get back with me. I say ok, we can't get back together, but we can certainly talk about it. She flirts with me like mad, something is weird.
I later talk to one of the three girls I hate, who tells me that she slept with this guy numerous times, and basically broke up with me for him. Then he broke up with her, and she apparently came crying back to me. I confront her about this entire thing, and receive a completely different story. According to her, she was just not happy in her life, and after listening to the advice of her mom (you need to take a break, and find out why you arent happy), and her friends - she broke up with me. She also said during that entire time she missed me like crazy, and she never dated this Adam guy. However! She does admit that while extremely drunk one night, he took advantage of her, and once she really realized what was going on, she told him to stop - he got mad, and thats why they didnt talk anymore. Granted this other girl is a compulsive liar, but I am inclined to believe her more than my ex-g/f just because her story was so detailed, and she really has no reason to lie about it. My ex-g/f has all the reasons in the world to lie - now all he friends hate her, and if I dropped her too, what else would she have?
So I am really left at an impasse here. Who do I believe? What do I do? Any help would be appreciated either in this thread or on AOL, my screen name is "halcyon312".
Thanks.
So, I am a 20 year old male, and I have been in a relationship with the same girl since March of 2003. Wow, this could be a long post if I typed everything....I'll try to be short. This girl was in a year long relationship before me, and about maybe a month after they broke up, she got drunk and had sex with another guy - needless to say even though she and her ex were broken up, he was not happy, as they were still talking and trying to work it out at the time. Fast forward to March, and her and I begin dating. Everything is fine at first, but the first warning sign for me was being at her house, and reading an email she had accidentally left up on her computer - a conversation with the previously said "other guy"....talking about their little sexcapade and how they both thought it was pretty great, and he admitting he always had a crush on her, etc.
I confronted her about this, and was lied to at first, then I put the email in front of her face, and she spilled the beans. We broke up over this for a while, not because of the convo - I could care less - but that I HATE being lied to. Relationships should be built on trust.
But heres the real meat and potatoes...maybe around mid-late June she started hanging out with this questionable group of friends, I swear I am not saying this as a possessive boyfriend, they really are bad people. One of them is basically a slut, the other one is a spoiled brat, and the third is already pregnant (shes one of those adolescents you see on Maury Povich, wanting a kid, but WAY too immature).
The red light immediately goes off in my head, I say nothing to her, only that I would appreciate spending equal amount of time with her as she does with her friends (I hang out with my guy friends quite a bit too). This eventually turns into her "wanting to take a break", and telling me the spark is gone, and she wants to seperate. She plays games with me for a few weeks, and on the fourth of july, she was just saying awful #### to me, and while I was drunk, I slapped her. As bad as I feel about it, I have never hit a girl, and felt awful about it - so as much as I feel bad, I don't hold it against myself....I don't consider myself a violent person and it was an isolated incident. Anyway, this provoked her to completely ignore me for three weeks, even though I tried to apologize numerous times. I later find out she has been spending a lot of time with this other guy named Adam.
Fast forward again, I get an email out of nowhere from her, saying she wants to get back with me. I say ok, we can't get back together, but we can certainly talk about it. She flirts with me like mad, something is weird.
I later talk to one of the three girls I hate, who tells me that she slept with this guy numerous times, and basically broke up with me for him. Then he broke up with her, and she apparently came crying back to me. I confront her about this entire thing, and receive a completely different story. According to her, she was just not happy in her life, and after listening to the advice of her mom (you need to take a break, and find out why you arent happy), and her friends - she broke up with me. She also said during that entire time she missed me like crazy, and she never dated this Adam guy. However! She does admit that while extremely drunk one night, he took advantage of her, and once she really realized what was going on, she told him to stop - he got mad, and thats why they didnt talk anymore. Granted this other girl is a compulsive liar, but I am inclined to believe her more than my ex-g/f just because her story was so detailed, and she really has no reason to lie about it. My ex-g/f has all the reasons in the world to lie - now all he friends hate her, and if I dropped her too, what else would she have?
So I am really left at an impasse here. Who do I believe? What do I do? Any help would be appreciated either in this thread or on AOL, my screen name is "halcyon312".
Thanks.
-Jordan
-Jordan  |
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