Dating Someone With a Disability - Love Forum

PAgirl7 · #1 (**permalink**) 19-08-04, 06:35 AM

I'm just curious to see what people think... Would you ever date a person with a disability? Why or why not?

Killerbabe · #2 (**permalink**) 19-08-04, 06:37 AM

Depends on what kind of disability...there's a lot of different kinds of disabilities.

But if something happens to the person I love and they develop a disability I would stay with them.

PAgirl7 · #3 (**permalink**) 19-08-04, 06:43 AM

But would you date someone who was already disabled when you met them? ANY kind of disability.

Killerbabe · #4 (**permalink**) 19-08-04, 06:52 AM

Hmm...well if you mean a physical disability, then maybe. If it's something small like a deformed hand, then maybe.

I'm not sure and we all know that love is blind, and it's hard for me to tell because I don't consider any options but my boyfriend, but here's what I can say: I like tall guys with broad shoulders. I don't mean a beefy pile of muscles, but a cut body is nice. Green eyes are the best and brown, slightly curly hair is the most adorable.

I wouldn't be able to date a guy that is mentally disabled. I don't think anyone would. It just doesn't make sense when you can't share thoughts with each other and moreover, share the same kind of lifestyle and goals.

PAgirl7 · #5 (**permalink**) 19-08-04, 06:55 AM

Okay you make a good point with the mentally disabled comment. Let's talk strictly physical disabilities. I suppose it is harder for someone who is in a relationship to answer that question! LOL!

nomas · #6 (**permalink**) 19-08-04, 07:32 AM

I think I would. Just as an example, a deaf girl or blind, or a wooden leg. I see absolutely no issue with it. If the important things (non-physical) are in place, these are minor things.

Of course, it's easier to say than to do, but this is what I think right now.

Freddie

squirrley · #7 (**permalink**) 19-08-04, 08:39 AM

Shoot~this is one is new to this forum. Presents some thinking!

K~uh I dont know that I could say honestly I would date someone whose physically majorly physically challenged. And I say this ONLY because I am an outgoing person and like to do outdoor things. If it were a small thing I dont think it cause a problem, missing hand or whatever, damn this seems shallow.

Mentally~hmm depends on the severity of it. MY GAWD I cant believe Im postin on this one. I honestly havent even thought about this, maybe because Ive never been put into this situation. So as Nomas says, who knows, my thoughts could change.

wow~great thread to think about!

PAgirl7 · #8 (**permalink**) 19-08-04, 09:02 AM

I thrive on making other people exercise their brain! It's one of the great perks in life! Hehehe!

jslaughter · #9 (**permalink**) 19-08-04, 12:53 PM

I went on a few dates with someone who was paralyzed from the waist down - his disability was not what held me back - he liked smoking Pot a bunch, and that just wasn't my thing. However, while we were never "boyfriend & girlfriend" things got a tad ugly at the end.

He showed up at my job unexpectedly after we hadn't talked for a month and Jens was waiting for me to get off work to take me out. The guy in the wheelchair accused me of being superficial and to this day I doubt that he believes it was the ever present cloud of smoke in his house that was the turn off, not the chair.

Based on that experience, I would not say that I would not date anyone who is handicapped again BUT I can say that I would enter into it a lot more cautiously so that no one gets hurt.

PAgirl7 · #10 (**permalink**) 19-08-04, 01:58 PM

Yeah that can be a huge challenge. If things don't work out, there's the high risk of the person assuming it has to do with their disability, even if that's way off base.

Illusional · #11 (**permalink**) 19-08-04, 04:00 PM

to be honest, it would take a lot to look past the disability. many people see a person that is disabled, and first impression is usually to feel sorry for that person. they don't mind opening the door for them, or picking up something that has fallen off the ground, but they are never thinking of a relationship. to date a person with a disablity is solely on personality and for many people, that usually isn't a first impression. to be honest, i doubt that i would get past that first impression and actually take the time to get to know them. on a friend level, i wouldn't mind working with them but it won't get as far as developing into a relationship. raverboy

PAgirl7 · #12 (**permalink**) 19-08-04, 04:12 PM

"to date a person with a disablity is solely on personality" (sorry I don;t know how to use the quote thingy).

So when you say this are you saying that if a person dates someone with an apparent physical disability that they wouldn't be physically attracted to that person and that personality and wit and all that would be the only basis for dating them? I'm just making sure I understand what you're saying.

I think that your response was VERY honest, and I appreciate that!

Illusional · #13 (**permalink**) 19-08-04, 04:42 PM

to quote someone, you can simply hit the reply button under their post. i think you can also [ 1quote1 ] to quote (without the 1)

well if i see that two people are together and one of them is disabled, it might or might not be based on personality. i'm saying that unless a women has become disabled after we started a relationship and it was really serious, then it would be very hard for me to see past that disablity. it takes a lot to help out disabled people, my grandmother had cut off one of her legs and it was really hard on the family. given that we didn't spend every day with it, it was a bit easier for us. dating someone with a disability has huge responsibilites and brings a lot of hardships for both people.

i think that more so, it would also be very emotionally draining. the other person is going through a lot of changes in their life, and a lot of stress will follow. and basically to test the waters with a girl so see if i'm compadible with her, is a risk that i would not want to take. raverboy

GBRaul · #14 (**permalink**) 19-08-04, 09:09 PM

Well, I'm quite inexperienced in the dating scene so far (17 going on 18

). But I've had this girl who has a muscle disorder claiming that she loved me and I was like thinking oh hell, how do I break this to her, how do I tell her that I don't feel the same way about her? But luckily things cleared up and we are still friends now. But yes, rejecting someone with a disorder might cause some misunderstandings.

Another thing I would like to add is that I was born with some minor mental disorders, but I managed to overcome some of them. Thus, I do like helping people who are in need. But whether or not I would actually go into a relationship with someone with a disorder? Currently, I think I would say most probably not unless it's something minor. I guess I sound very superficial too...

I think I would be able to accept a girl with a physical disorder more than a mental disorder because I am a very avid thinker and I am more inclined towards staying at home with my books rather than do outdoor activities. (I guess that's because everyone used to make fun of me when I was young and I wanted to prove them wrong - that someone with mental disabilities can do well academically)

jslaughter · #15 (**permalink**) 19-08-04, 10:23 PM

I thought about it after last night and I have to say. . .Jeff, the guy in the wheel chair, that I went out with a few times was such a nice guy. He had a wonderful personality and he was quite handsome, despite the chair.

However, I hadn't put alot of thought into the longevity of the relationship - he did alot of things for himself but there were somethings that down the road someone might have to do for him. All I knew is I saw this great positive attitude and an awesome smile and that made him fun to be around.