AGE matters??? - Love Forum

sweff · #1 (**permalink**) 24-08-04, 08:31 AM

I'm dating a guy that is nine yrs older than me,he is 26 and i'm 17 I really like him and he likes me (I think) but I'm starting to wonder if he is just with me cuz I'm not as busy as women that is his age so I have more time to spend on him.I never really dated an older man before, so I'm just wondering could those be his intentions?

Fawn · #2 (**permalink**) 24-08-04, 08:39 AM

hmmm.... well every man is different. There is a possibility that he could just be there for sex, or just a casual hook-up till he finds a girl his age. I wouldn't know, since I don't know the guy.

Since your questioning it, I would go and have a serious heart to heart talk with him. You should determine what he and you want out of the relationship. Its important to have some idea towards what you both want. You may want something serious, while he may want something casual.

My boyfriend is 5 yrs older then me. So I know what its like to date someone older. Its a great experience. At the start I made it clear that I wanted to have something long-term and he was looking for the same thing. We've both had a few stressed times in the relationship, but we've made it through it.

You just need to talk it out. Get the issues up front to find out where its going.

GBRaul · #3 (**permalink**) 24-08-04, 10:07 AM

Age doesn't matter in a relationship, it's the connection that counts. And like Fawn said, do talk to him about what you want from this relationship.

PAgirl7 · #4 (**permalink**) 24-08-04, 10:25 AM

If it helps, I'm dating a man who is 8 years older than me- he's 26 and I'm 19. We've been together for 8 months and we're doing great. It's true that every man is different, but age doesn't have to play into it. Whatever his reasons for dating you, they would be the same if he was your age.

Illusional · #5 (**permalink**) 24-08-04, 10:30 AM

well i would say that considering that you're still a teenage and he is well on into the 20's age would be a big issue. i would never date someone 9 years younger than me because of mentality. however if you two are fine with it, so be it. raverboy

BeLoved0429 · #6 (**permalink**) 24-08-04, 04:09 PM

I dont think age matters too much- my parents are about 9 years apart. Their right, its about the connection between the two of you. If everything seems to be going okay- then go for it!

jslaughter · #7 (**permalink**) 24-08-04, 09:55 PM

I think that it depends on alot of factors - you cannot universally say that age matters or doesn't matter. What you need to determine is are your goals and needs similar? Are you in the same place MENTALLY in your life?

I dated someone who was 15 years older than me when I was 18 - we broke up quickly when we realized he was looking for a wife and I just wanted someone to date and have fun with. I also went on a few dates recently with someone 7 years younger than me - this time I realized I wanted to settle down and he needed to go out and experience the big wide world. In both situations it wasn't really the age difference that did us in - it was where our heads were at.

BillyGalbreath · #8 (**permalink**) 24-08-04, 11:16 PM

Age doesnt matter - I am a firm believer in this. You can be 30 years old, but have the maturity of a 15 y/o. And you can be a 15 y/o and have the maturity of a 30 y/o.

What matters is the maturity level the person is at.

Illusional · #9 (**permalink**) 25-08-04, 03:07 AM

age is a number like billy said but there are other factors like the maturity level. that is basically the bottom line. let's say for example this guy is what?? 24?? yet he acts like he is 18. their would be around the same age mentally, but age wise there is a huge difference. if they act and feel about the same age, i would say stick with it, but then there are many guys would take advantage of the unknowing youngan. raverboy

nomas · #10 (**permalink**) 25-08-04, 03:40 AM

Yep, it's all about maturity, and we all mature differently.

It gets tougher to judge when the younger member of the relationship is very young. You say there is a 9 year difference. Let's assume for the sake of simplicity that everyone matures pretty much at the same rate. Now, by the time you are 9 years old, he is 18. The maturity level is a world of difference between a 9 year old and an 18 year old. But fast forward 9 years. Now you are 18 and very much more mature than 9, but he's 27 and the maturity he obtained was not as drastic as yours. If numbers make sense to you, at 9 and 18, you are at 50% of his maturity level. At 18 and 27, you are at 66%. And by the time you are 100 and 91, you're practically right there with him at 91%.

Ah, numbers..they are your friend.

Freddie

ps. My favorite number is 3.

PAgirl7 · #11 (**permalink**) 25-08-04, 05:38 AM

LMAO! Freddie, you slay me!

sfalexi · #12 (**permalink**) 25-08-04, 09:50 AM

I agree with Billy.

And Freddie, all I can say is, "Bravo."

Way to break down dating to a formula. I didn't think it could be done, but WOW!!!!

Rod Steele

Rêveur · #13 (**permalink**) 25-08-04, 10:07 AM

It all depends on individual people really, as before mentioned. However I have to add the warning to be careful with older men, a lot of the time there's a reason why they are going after a female much younger. Just keep it in the back of your mind, it can't hurt to be aware.

Uncertain · #14 (**permalink**) 25-08-04, 10:41 AM

I think most men who date teenagers have serious issues. 26-17 seems like a big difference to me. I'm 24 and there's no way I could see myself with someone below 20.

Anyway, it's possible that you are mature for your age and that he's genuine about the relationship.

PAgirl7 · #15 (**permalink**) 25-08-04, 11:40 AM

I don't think it is fair to say that. I know that my age has nothing to do with the reasons that my boyfriend is interested in me. I'd say that if we're talking a 40-something-year- old guy, that's one thing. But just based on maturity levels and life stages, anything within ten years really isn't that big of a leap! At least in my opinion...