How to tell if a shy guy's interested? - Love Forum

babygirl · #1 (**permalink**) 27-08-04, 07:23 AM

Hi everyone.My question is a little on the easy side.Actually I would like to know whats the best way to tell if a shy guy is interested in you?Ok I'm a little shy myself and not used to asking guys out,so if I ask this guy out and he says no then I'll be really scared to do it again,so can anybody help me out a little here.Thanx

HastaSiempre · #2 (**permalink**) 27-08-04, 10:56 AM

I'm a shy guy, and whenever I'm really interested in a girl, I'll give her as much attention as she'll take. Try kissing him and see how he reacts. Ask him how he feels about you. Lots of shy guys have a hard time initiating a talk about that kind of stuff, but whenever it gets rolling, I always have so much to say. Shy guys are the sensitive ones.

GBRaul · #3 (**permalink**) 27-08-04, 11:24 AM

I think kissing him might not be such a great idea. It's even worse than asking him out in my opinion, as in it's more extreme. If our babygirl here doesn't even want to ask him out, how do you expect her to kiss him?

Anyway, back to the question. I think shy guys usually give A LOT of eye contact to the girl they are interested in. Usually the guy would just look at the girl he's interested in and just stare and stare and when the girl looks back his face immediately turns a bright red and he looks back at whatever he was doing. Usually his staring is accompanied by a few friends that are trying to nudge him to make the approach.

Shy guys also struggle very hard to strike up convos with the girl (and usually end up failing so miserably it's sad, but that's besides the point). They would just talk a lot of crap, and usually that's how you know a shy guy is interested since he usually wouldn't want to talk at all if he's not!

That's just from my observation. Good luck with this shy guy of yours!

And I agree with HastaSiempre in that shy guys are the sensitive ones. Usually if you manage to get a shy guy to open up, he's one of the nicests guys you can get in the universe

HastaSiempre · #4 (**permalink**) 27-08-04, 11:48 AM

May not have been the best advice on my part, but in my earlier days I always wished the girls that I really like and was spending a lot of time with would make the first move. I just thought it would be cool if a girl would get things rolling since I couldn't muster the guts.

GBRaul · #5 (**permalink**) 27-08-04, 12:02 PM

In my opinion, it would have been good advice actually if babygirl here weren't so shy too.

Exodus · #6 (**permalink**) 27-08-04, 03:04 PM

Very nice GBRaul, I see soo many of those things in what I do. Especially the eye contact. Heh there's this girl I have seen at work and I like her physically anyways and I always look at her when we are both working. I do the turn away when she looks back thing too lol. Damn you and your good speculations. I also have a tough time initiating the convos, its not that I'll fail miserably once i get started, its just figuring out how to get started. I usually end up getting stuck in the thought of not knowing how I should ask her in the first place and thats what really gets me stuck.

I'd say that what GBRaul said identifies shy guys very well. At least me... I'm a shy guy, and I'd like to think I am a really nice guy too. I guess i stereotype myself as the shy guys persona. I'm growing out of it but i am still me so maybe i'll just be one of those rare nice guys that you girls speak of

GBRaul · #7 (**permalink**) 27-08-04, 03:21 PM

Haha... I guess I know shy guys well because I used to be one before I turned 15 and I still have a lot of friends who are shy guys till this day

But even though I wasn't that shy after I turned 15 I still couldn't initiate convos with my crush without any stupidly awkward pauses. Sigh... oh well learn from mistakes I guess

babygirl · #8 (**permalink**) 27-08-04, 09:37 PM

Hey guys thanx for the advice.We have made eye contact a few times.Like there was this one time that I was walking by and I got the feeling that someone was looking at me.I looked up and it was him,we made eye contact and he just nodded and I said hello,and we kept walking.Everytime I talk to him he has this really big smile on his face.One day I was around him and I said something about walking and he said nah I'm not gonna make you walk.This is just a couple of examples.And again thanx for the advice.

PandaCivic · #9 (**permalink**) 27-08-04, 11:30 PM

if he's that shy, you have the advantage. since YOU know HE'S shy, you can pretend YOU'RE NOT. sit down in front of him and stare at him and then kiss him full on the lips! he'll be so surprised that anything else you talk about will be cake!

Exodus · #10 (**permalink**) 28-08-04, 11:38 AM

lol are you serious? People just go up and kiss people like that? That'd be a little awkward... lol maybe thats because i'm shy haha. I mean hell I wouldn't mind it if someone I liked would do that to me... lol thats for sure, but still hehe... I guess I'm more for the traditional dating a little then kiss.

daletom · #11 (**permalink**) 28-08-04, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PandaCivic

. . . sit down in front of him and stare at him and then kiss him full on the lips! he'll be so surprised that anything else you talk about will be cake!

That sounds like a sure-fire way to make certain he's NOT interested in you. He'd probably take it as somebody making fun of his shyness and deliberately trying to embarass him.

Chances are that if you convince him you're genuinely interested in him, he'll become interested in you even if he has no interest right now. Your best bet may be in a small group setting - a school project team, a club, church group, etc. Someplace where he has the safety of a few friends around him, but not so many people around that he feels like the whole world is watching. Become friends around your common interest - the subject at hand - and let things naturally move in an interpersonal direction.

You'll probably have to nudge him a little from time to time but if he gets the idea that you're trying to manipulate him, take advantage of him, or drag him into something he's not ready for, you'll probably lose him. Treat him gently and respectfully. Simple, direct statements like "I was hoping you'd be able to come with me to the ballgame on Saturday." will go a long way toward "educating" him; vague remarks and hints like "Diane said Jim is taking her to the ballgame." will either miss the mark entirely or be interpreted as sarcasm and cattiness.

You might discover that many people labeled as "quiet and shy" actually have very strong personalities: they're accustomed to being unpopular so aren't afraid to take a position and stick with it. They may also have a great deal of perseverance and loyalty in them.

Good luck.

HastaSiempre · #12 (**permalink**) 28-08-04, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daletom

You might discover that many people labeled as "quiet and shy" actually have very strong personalities: they're accustomed to being unpopular so aren't afraid to take a position and stick with it. They may also have a great deal of perseverance and loyalty in them.

You hit the nail on the head with this one. This perfectly describes me and a bunch of my guy friends. Luckily, many girls tend to love the fact that I'm opinionated and willing to express myself when they get to know me.

babygirl · #13 (**permalink**) 28-08-04, 10:34 PM

Its me again.Well its like this,the guy I'm talking about I usually only see on the weekends.I work at this race-track.But anyway,he used to only come down there unless his friends were down there.Now since the first time I actually spoke to him he comes every weekend.I'm talking about wether his friends are with him or not.I really appreciate all of your advice,it makes alot of sense,thanx for taking the time to answer my question.

Uncertain · #14 (**permalink**) 29-08-04, 01:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by babygirl

Its me again.Well its like this,the guy I'm talking about I usually only see on the weekends.I work at this race-track.But anyway,he used to only come down there unless his friends were down there.Now since the first time I actually spoke to him he comes every weekend.I'm talking about wether his friends are with him or not.I really appreciate all of your advice,it makes alot of sense,thanx for taking the time to answer my question.

There is a very good chance he's interested in you then. You should try to make the first move, but please don't listen to those people suggesting you to just kiss him out of nowhere.

Does he ever stay around until your work shift is over? That could be the right time to ask him for a walk or to go eat something together.

babygirl · #15 (**permalink**) 29-08-04, 11:09 PM

Hey I just thought I'd let all of you know what happened this weekend.Well I got there late so I had to walk around and collect money for a little while.When I got to him he asked me how much he owed me(like he didn't know)but I told him and he gave me the money and then said I appreciate it.He left and came back both times he stared at me and waved.Later on I caught him staring at me.And I was also talking to this other guy who is 15 and I had him by the arm but I was just taking him over to my dad to show my dad what this girl did to him..lol...but anyway he was staring at us the whole time.After my dad seen the boys eye he talked to him for a little while and then he left.I sure hope he doesn't think I'm dating that guy,cause he is way to young for me.