Dealing with 'evil' step-mom

[Danog]

So, been with this girl for almost 2-months now. She lives 40km (25miles) away which is about a 30min drive on a nice summer's day. I can't imagine how long it will take in Winter.

Apart from distance, her curfew is midnight (or 11pm sometimes) on weekends and 9pm on weekdays when we go out. Not to mention her phone cutoff time is 8pm. I can't call or talk to her past that time.

She has a step-mother who I think treats her like shit. I just got off the phone talking with her and just found I can't come over for dinner, for my birthday.

My birthday is on Sunday (turning 25 - she is 19 btw) and I was invited for dinner on Saturday. But her step-mom got mad because she (g/f) didn't do some housework this morning before heading off to work. She wasn't supposed to do any work but still got in trouble because she chose not to do anything. Pretty stupid.

This is really bugging. I mean, this isn't the first time. I've overheard her mom yell at her enough times on the phone, made her cry, and all in all, just treats her like shit. I've even heard a few things that just make it look like the step-mom is trying to control my g/f and make her life miserable.

I've met her family everytime I've had to pick her up to go out. Her dad is cool I like him, but her step-mom just gives me a bad/uncomfy vibe everytime I have to see her.

I even bought her mom a bottle of wine the last time I went over, just as a good gesture.

I've asked her to talk to her Dad (considering he's blood) but don't think he really does much in favour. I'm tired of hearing my g/f sound sad and hurt on the phone cuz it brings me down, and I can't just drive over to comfort her.

What should I do? I've thought about calling it quits but I really dont' want to and perhaps I only think about when I'm feeling down. I mean, my g/f isn't really happy at this moment and me dumping her would REALLY destroy her emotionally at this point.

How can I talk to her mom without sounding like I'm interferring?

[GBRaul]

40km is not much. And what do you mean you can't drive over?

Anyway, if you want to talk to her stepmom, it's virtually impossible not to sound like you're interfering. Just interfere damn it, and if she doesn't listen, you could get your g/f to move in with you or something if you are very sure this relationship is heading down the right alley.

Sounds pretty extreme actually after I read it, haha.

[Danog]

Quote:

Originally Posted by GBRaul

40km is not much. And what do you mean you can't drive over?

Well for one if I show up at her front door, I'm not gonna be welcomed or allowed in. This isn't like Romeo & Juliette.

Plus I respect her family and whatever choice they make. I just don't have to agree fully with them that's all. Not much I can do.

I really wish I can just go over whenever something like this happens.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GBRaul

Anyway, if you want to talk to her stepmom, it's virtually impossible not to sound like you're interfering. Just interfere damn it, and if she doesn't listen, you could get your g/f to move in with you or something if you are very sure this relationship is heading down the right alley.

Well I don't think that's going to happen. For one I still live with my parents and 2-months is too early to start deciding how far ahead in life we can expect to be.

I'm not gonna interfere just yet. I'll give it some more time. The fact that I sometimes hear the dispute over the phone might give me a reason to bring it up sometime with the mom.

[GBRaul]

Oh... 2 months... didn't notice that. Yeah, you do what you suggested. And that thing about hearing disputes over the phone is a good way to bring it up I think.