What would you do? - Love Forum

woodmister · #1 (**permalink**) 01-09-04, 03:10 PM

Lets say you have a daughter (some of you may) and she is living at home. So one day you get a letter in the mail to your daughter, and you open it and read it. It's from some guy that you have never met, and in this letter the guy explains how much in love he is in with her etc... Would you give her the letter, what would you think about it?

This is my situation... I know her parents read her mail, and i'm not certain what their reaction will be when they see how much I love her.... We dated for almost a year, but she does not trust me and does not believe I love her.
So if your the parent what would you do? She is 19 and I am 17....

GBRaul · #2 (**permalink**) 01-09-04, 05:21 PM

I would just give it to her. It's her business who she wants to date. Anyway, she's already 19. No sense holding her back. But because I'm Chinese and am rather traditional (especially since my parents are very traditional), I still want her to at least bring her b/f home for dinner so at least I get to see him and find out at least what kind of person he is before she decides to marry him or something.

But I'm still 18, so I'm not sure if my views would change as I get older.

slag1 · #3 (**permalink**) 01-09-04, 08:11 PM

Though i do belive you should send her your letters, you can't ignore the fact taht her parents are still a part of her life. If u do or say something taht upsets them they will make it harder for her to see you. Trust me because this is speaking from personal experinces

LucidDream · #4 (**permalink**) 02-09-04, 07:53 AM

Ummm my advice would be to send it, but think about what you write. Make her pairents proud that she is with a nice guy like you. The pairents that would make a fuss over the letter are the kind of pairents that would worry about the kind of person they might be dating if they suspect something. Use the letter to hint to them that your a nice guy and the pairents might respect you. They might even invite you round from dinner. And from what Ive seen, people that see eachothers pairents become a more stable relationship.

woodmister · #5 (**permalink**) 02-09-04, 04:59 PM

I just don't want her parents to think i'm some kind of obsessive lunatic.. We broke up because she did not trust me and did not think my love was real etc.. So in the letter I go pretty deep to tell her how much I do love her. I'm just afraid her parents will think i'm crazy and not give it to her. Maybe I should redo it?

GBRaul · #6 (**permalink**) 02-09-04, 07:51 PM

I think most parents would not read letters that come in the mail for their children? I am not so sure about this though.

Breezy18 · #7 (**permalink**) 02-09-04, 08:18 PM

I would hope that parents wouldn't read personal letters that are addressed to their children. If my daughter received a letter, I would just hand it over to her, (actually I never get the mail anymore.......the kids always beat me to it, lol). But yes, I agree with Lucid. If you suspect they are going to be reading it, I wouldn't go overboard. I would just state your case as sweetly and respectfully as you can. Good luck.

LucidDream · #8 (**permalink**) 02-09-04, 09:14 PM

Yeah, last think you need is for you to sound like the stalker type in your letter.
Dont rave too much about how much you love her, just try to keep it sweet.
I wouldent worrk about it too much. There is no fine line for how her pairents will interprit your letter, and you wont be able to get it perfect word for word.
I guess its like an exam, you can spend ages going for an A+, but a pass will still do. Im sure her pairents wont mind that much, as long as you sound 'nice enough'.

sfalexi · #9 (**permalink**) 02-09-04, 11:33 PM

Quote:

I just don't want her parents to think i'm some kind of obsessive lunatic.. We broke up because she did not trust me and did not think my love was real etc..

In THAT case I say don't send the letter. And don't worry about what her PARENTS would think, because you alread know what SHE thinks. Just let it go man. Let it go . . .

Rod Steele

Fawn · #10 (**permalink**) 03-09-04, 02:14 AM

Parents should not have to right to open personal property... Thats invasion of privacy and its not fair. Easpecially if she's 19, she's old enough to look at her own mail without her parents having to open her own private letters.

mark20 · #11 (**permalink**) 03-09-04, 07:34 AM

This girl is 19, can't really understand why her parents should still read her mail! Weird! Anyway you should still send the letter, just make sure its contents are suitable for the parent's eyes as well. Most likely though they will just hand the letter to her without reading it first.