Question for Women? - Love Forum

LoserMan · #1 (**permalink**) 30-08-04, 05:51 AM

What would you think of a boyfriend who has no friends at all.I'm in a position that a very nice girl wants me,but i'm a loner with no friends,would you find that strange and put you off dating me?

PAgirl7 · #2 (**permalink**) 30-08-04, 07:09 AM

I think it depends on why the guy has no friends. If he's mean, then yeah it would raise some flags. But if it was just that he doesn't spend a lot of time with other people... I don't think that's a bad thing.

Anthony · #3 (**permalink**) 30-08-04, 04:38 PM

I've always been a fairly solitary person and tend not to socialize with friends on a regular basis. It depends on the type of person you're in a relationship with, though personally I haven't found it to be a problem.

Illusional · #4 (**permalink**) 30-08-04, 05:03 PM

everyone always has atleast one friend.. don't put yourself down so much because girls don't like a guy with a low self esteem. if you can't be happy for yourself, what makes them think that you'll be strong and happy for them??

raverboy

sfalexi · #5 (**permalink**) 30-08-04, 09:41 PM

Make friends when you guys go places. Mutual friends. No worries. When she's dating you, she's dating YOU. Not your friends (or lack thereof). If she can't understand that, then she's not worth it.

Rod Steele

Uncertain · #6 (**permalink**) 31-08-04, 01:13 AM

I'm in the same situation.

I was with the same girlfriend for 4 years and she became my best friend. When we broke up, I had lost contact with all my highschool friends. The fact that we all went to different colleges didn't help either.

Now I've become a loner, but not by choice. Let's face it though, making new friends when you are not going to school anymore is no easy task. The second best option is the work place and I know for sure that none of the guys I work with could ever be my friend. They are way too different.

What am I supposed to do now? Hang out in places I enjoy like a bookstore and walk up to people and ask if they want to be my friend?

It is an obstacle when you want to meet girls because it sounds creepy when someone says "I have no friends". I'm sure my personality is strong enough to overcome the initial bad impression of not having friends, but it's still another handicap on my long list.

nebulachich · #7 (**permalink**) 31-08-04, 02:40 AM

What's the reason you don't have any friends currently?

sfalexi · #8 (**permalink**) 31-08-04, 03:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uncertain

It is an obstacle when you want to meet girls because it sounds creepy when someone says "I have no friends". I'm sure my personality is strong enough to overcome the initial bad impression of not having friends, but it's still another handicap on my long list.

Sorry, but I can't think of any worthwhile situation where someone asked, or even ALLUDED to the question "So how many friends do you have?" Once again. And I'll put it in bold so maybe this time you'll read it.

When she's dating you, she's dating YOU. Not your friends (or lack thereof). If she can't understand that, then she's not worth it.

The only time I was seriously asked that question was when I met some girl at my old job. We were talking and having a good time and she says, "So who are your friends?" I said, "Excuse me?" She says, "Who do you hang out with?" At that point it was obvious that she was trying to judge me through whatever "social standing" I had. So I stopped talking to her. It shouldn't be an issue.

Rod Steele

Uncertain · #9 (**permalink**) 31-08-04, 03:26 AM

I don't expect any girl to bluntly ask: "How many friends fo you have?", but she will obviously notice that I have none.

sfalexi · #10 (**permalink**) 31-08-04, 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uncertain

I don't expect any girl to bluntly ask: "How many friends fo you have?", but she will obviously notice that I have none.

When she's dating you, she's dating YOU. Not your friends (or lack thereof). If she can't understand that, then she's not worth it.

Seriously. How many more times need this be pointed out? If any girl decided to pass judgement on me at ANY point in a relationship based on how many friends I had or didn't have, then she's obviously not caring about ME. So screw her.

Rod Steele

zas · #11 (**permalink**) 01-09-04, 01:54 AM

I think it's good to have a balance of friends and gf/bf, simply because if you're in a relationship and you have no friends, who might you obsess over? and I personally find that quite suffocating.

slag1 · #12 (**permalink**) 01-09-04, 08:56 PM

I have this same exact problem Uncertain. but for me its not that girls think that its weird i have a little bit of freinds. its just that when i first go out with a girl (pre-relationship) I tend to go out with her an a few freinds so she does not feel uncomfertable. Im also the kind of guy who has to be freinds with the girl first before any relationship and i am afrad that she might get the wrong impresstion if just the two of us go out (I don't like to rush things).

so yea the girl is going out with me and not my freinds, but i just need freinds to start going out with the girl

GBRaul · #13 (**permalink**) 01-09-04, 08:58 PM

Well, you could just try going out with a girl by yourself for once. Hey, even friends go on one on one "dates" for lack of a better word. Ah... rendezvous! hahaha