Getting onto the not friends ladder...

[Ratfish256]

Ok I just finished read some stuff about the diffrent ladders and although I think some of the stuff is just bullshit I definately see now that I keep being put on the friends ladder. It must be something I am doing wrong because I just had it happen again ( See: Uh oh). Any advice as how to not end up there every time? Im not just looking for a quickie or something I am just tired of being "friends".

[MJK]

The only advice a can give you is to let the girl know your intention, i never did enter the frienship zone because the girl always know my true intention from the begining

[LucidDream]

Oh god, I hope you didnt go to IntellectualWhores.com! That site is depressing as hell.
I think that the guys that made that site are sexist, ignorent and just downright cold.

Even if there is any truth in that site, I would only belive it if somebody elce said it.

[Kermy]

Ratfish256: Hehe, I see you took a bit of advice from me from this thread. However, keep in mind, some of the ladder theory is a bit of bull but in all honestly, after reading it over and pondering on it for a bit. I believe that majority of what they say do have some truth behind it. It didn't take me long before I realized that the theory for men applies to me.

LucidDream: go to www.revscene.net ---> Loft 125 ---> Relationship & Gender Discussion ---> on the bottom right hand corner type in "ladder theory" in the search

Here you will find many different threads with reference to this theory and on quite a few of them many of the males were honest enough to agree with the ladder theory, at least for guys. And as much as I would like to be a gentlemen, nice guy...etc. I have to admit subconsciously I've come to realize that it is true. I will confess.

[KalCarter21]

I think the ladder is utter bullshit....it's only true if you want it to be true. IMO women don't want a nice guy.....nor a bad boy. I think they want a guy who can balance out both types, a guy who's nice but also can be independent.

[LucidDream]

Ok, just as long as its not from that godawful site I mentioned above
Cos that site is full of romance killers.
But I do know of the ladder theory, I read about it on that site.

[KalCarter21]

lol I just read that guy's theory in more depth....what a crack pot lol, "women are 99.99999% bitchs"........WRONGGG, these dude forgets the fact that humans AREN'T perfect, it's cool he defends his theory but he acts like its "EVERYBODY". He's theory is flawed, he was probaly a reject in highschool who played pokemon at the lunch table.

[GBRaul]

I've had a few girls have a crush on me before, and they say it's because I can be both the serious nice guy type who does well academically and the more outspoken type. And I involve myself in gambling though I don't over-gamble. They say it's exciting to them. Don't really know why. Well, apparently girls like guys who can balance out both types. But for me I do believe I'm still more on the nice guy side, though I talk a lot more and argue a lot more than the common nice guy, and I play A LOT of cards.

According to them if I'd just sculpt my body, restyle myself, get some cash I can REALLY spend and stop tripping over myself in front of the girl I like, I would be unstoppable. (I don't really believe that, but it's worth a shot ain't it?)

[LucidDream]

restyling is not only fun, but it gives you a tonne of confidence if you do it right!

[GBRaul]

Apparently I've got to restyle my hair! lol... right now I just crop it whenever I go to the barber, as in get it short and easy to deal with. I don't even use a comb or hair cream etc.

[LucidDream]

Mine is pritty long.
Goes down (and a bit past) the bottom of my neck at the back, and if you pull my fringe down strait it almost reaches the tip of my nose (but its started to get a parting so it curls up to the bottom of my eyebrow).
Not many people have hair as long as mine round where I live.
Some people love it, others hate it.
Either way, I got used to being a bit different and now I am more confident.

If your going to restyle, ignore local fassion, go against the grain and go with what YOU want, people realy do respect you for that! I tryed eyeliner and a couple of girls practicaly jumped on me .
And girls apreciate it if you look like you put effort into your appearence, and in turn you develop some self-respect too.
But Ill say this again, clothes are the easiest thing to change.

[GBRaul]

Yeah, when I finally get money of my own I'd go buy some new clothes. All of my clothes now are at least 2 years old... And if I got hair like yours my teacher would positively SHRIEK!!! It's totally disallowed in high schools in Singapore. All guys must have fringes that do not go beyond the eye. And hair at the side should not go past the top of the ear (this is a bit subjective, but the idea is there) and hair at the back should not go past the collar. Sideburns must not be overly long too. Which is why I chose to crop my hair - no need to visit the barber's too frequently. And it's more cooling too - good for a SWELTERING country like Singapore! Lol...

[LucidDream]

wow, I knew the rules where pritty bad over there, but I didnt know it was THAT bad.
I guess its for school reputation? Even though long hair can look realy smart if you go it right. But it isnt that good in hot weather I guess, but its fine for Cold Britan .

[GBRaul]

Yeah... Cold Britain. Heard that British waters in winter can cause hypothermia to anyone who dips in them without protective clothing. Yeah, the rules are bad. But I don't really mind... I wouldn't dream of long hair in this heat... Though I think having to wear a uniform sucks

[LucidDream]

Ah we have to wear Uniform in high school too