I didn't mean to cheat - Page 2 - Love Forum

Fawn · #16 (**permalink**) 03-09-04, 02:31 AM

Either way its going to hurt her. Tell your gf. Tell the other girl u have a gf. Just do it and get it over with! You can't keep putting this off or else its going to start tearing you apart.

Elysium · #17 (**permalink**) 03-09-04, 03:45 AM

You cheated, you have to own up to the consequences. It's your responsibility to tell her, you owe that to her. If she forgives you, fabulous. If she doesn't, then it's a lesson learned, maybe next time you'll know better. The act of cheating, by nature, puts your current relationship on the line. There's no way to get around that. Time to face the music.

luvtif · #18 (**permalink**) 03-09-04, 06:02 AM

yes we that are cheated on ALWAYS find out!!!! so while it is better to tell her, you would still get the boot from me whether you were honest or not. what you did is bullshit. "she was just a friend?" please- you put the moves on her by bumpin and grindin, watchin a movie alone in your dorm room, and putting your arm around her...what did you think was gonna happen? and even if it didn't go further than that stuff, I would still be extremely pissed. sorry but i have this thing about cheaters---I HATE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

chrisodeo · #19 (**permalink**) 03-09-04, 06:13 AM

I could just try getting more distant from the girl I met here. Maybe she would get the hint. I can't tell my gf though. If she broke up with me, I don't know what I'd do. Around the time we started going out, she made me realize that the world is a good place. I was about to leave it. The same was happening to her - we need each other. If she found out I cheated, I don't even want to think about what would happen. One thing would be sure; whatever she did I would do the same.

luvtif · #20 (**permalink**) 03-09-04, 06:18 AM

so you still talk to the girl??? that needs to end asap. if your gf is so wonderful then why did you cheat? and tough that you don't know what you would do without her-your the one that ****ed it up. just know that she will prob find out eventually!!!!

Fawn · #21 (**permalink**) 03-09-04, 07:10 AM

You made a mistake... now fess up to it... you can try leaving it... but the guilts going to eat you away... then what happens if the other girl talks to your gf? the whole thing would come out.... be a man and tell the TRUTH....

mark20 · #22 (**permalink**) 03-09-04, 07:27 AM

Jeez, the only way to end this affair is to tell the other girl that you have a girlfriend 1.5 miles away. There's no real nice way of breaking news like this, but it's something that's inevitable and something you have brought on yourself by kissing this other girl in the first place. Also if you really loved your girlfriend you would not be concerned how this other girl would react to the news. This leads me to think you may still have some feelings for her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chrisodeo

Jeez. I arranged to meet her because I thought of her as a friend. Can't a guy have female friends without getting the moves put on him? In my family a kiss before leaving is just accepted. But I thought about it, and she really didn't know that. So that's not what that really meant. I posted here after realizing that. Now it seems to me like I knew it all along somewhere inside. It's not as bad as some things though, right? I mean, people go a lot farther than I did and still get forgiven. I do love my girlfriend, more than I would like to say here. If it wasn't for her, I probably wouldn't be anywhere. I just don't know what to say that won't hurt anyone.

LucidDream · #23 (**permalink**) 03-09-04, 07:49 AM

Try not to feel overly guilty about it mind.
Guilt has its uses, but it is a terrably self destructive emotion if you have too much of it. Use it to make sure you dont repeat the same mistake again, and by the sounds of it your already at that point.
If she does decide to stick with you (my hopes are with you mate) you need to get rid of some of your guilt. As I said, guilt is self destructive, and the last thing she will need is a relationship with a self destructive person. Thats never healthy.

So just try to ballance out how guilty you are. Guilt is healthy and it teaches you, it helps you grow as a person. You are unlikely to repeat this mistake now, conciousoly or otherwise. But too much guilt can destroy you.

MJK · #24 (**permalink**) 03-09-04, 08:17 AM

I still say dont tell her, its was just a kiss. There some people i know that did worst than you did and got away with it and they are still with there girlfriend now.

Anyway what you did was wrong and i think you know it, so i dont think its worth telling her. If my girlfriend cheated on me, i think i would not want to know.

Thats just my opinion

mark20 · #25 (**permalink**) 03-09-04, 08:47 AM

The only danger with that of course is if your girlfriend finds out, which happens quite a lot. You also have to be prepared to bottle things up and not feel too guilty, which can be very hard to do sometimes. I still feel you're right to tell her; at the very least she'll appreciate your honesty. It's better this than her finding out or you telling her further down the line; then she'll wonder why you didn't tell her sooner.

- Mark

cbee · #26 (**permalink**) 03-09-04, 02:42 PM

Just tell her. Make the situation clear to both of them. Your girlfriend WILL more than likely find out, if she finds out from someone else she'll get some warped story and probably be even more hurt than if she found out from you.

I also agree with Mark20 if you really loved your girlfriend then you wouldn't be too concerned about how the other girl would react.

chrisodeo · #27 (**permalink**) 03-09-04, 10:17 PM

I can't help but care for everyone I meet. I think it's what got me into this mess in the first place. Well, that and the head with no brains. I think I'll just tell the other girl I'd be better off concentrating on schoolwork for the moment. What we did wasn't that bad at all. If my gf does find out, there's a lot of doubt she would believe it anyway. People are constantly telling stories about the both of us for her to believe some rumor. I'm starting to think it was a bad idea posting this. It was just a kiss, after all. Nothing to worry about. Not like I'm going to go further.

cbee · #28 (**permalink**) 04-09-04, 02:14 AM

Just one word of warning.

If people are already telling stories about you and she finds out about this in someway that it is clear it is true. THen she's going to think every little story no matter how untrue did actually happen.

But on your head be it...

sfalexi · #29 (**permalink**) 04-09-04, 02:21 AM

Quote:

I think I'll just tell the other girl I'd be better off concentrating on schoolwork for the moment. What we did wasn't that bad at all. If my gf does find out, there's a lot of doubt she would believe it anyway.

Quote:

It was just a kiss, after all. Nothing to worry about. Not like I'm going to go further.

If you're not going to go any further why not tell the other girl that you have a girlfriend? And not "schoolwork"? Well, I just hope you're not a hypocrite and when you find out that some guy frenched your girl after she was invited to a movie in his room you can say, "It was just a kiss, after all."

Rod Steele

Metalhead6six6 · #30 (**permalink**) 04-09-04, 02:39 AM

A couple of people who responded had said for you to break up with her. That I think is a little harsh, but what you SHOULD do, is tell her, wait for her to calm down a bit, and definitely hold off the proposal for a couple of months until you're sure it will NEVER happen again.