Clouded Vision?

[neurophane]

I am looking for some advice about my current situation:

I am 24 and my last relationship was about a year ago ... I met this girl on the internet and she moved to my area and I basically supported her financially and emotionally [she was very immature and younger than me and I based the relationship on very superficial things]. She then [sparing the details] attempted to force/blackmail me into marriage at which point I was finally able to end things [overall bad deal]. This took a huge toll on me as well as my family [parents and siblings] who were [as they should have been] worried about me.

Now fast forward to the current and I met a girl at a political event and we started talking and had a lot in common. The problem is that she lives across the country and was only visiting the area. We have continued to talk on the phone and see each other when she is in the area [although that will no longer be happening now that she is back in college] and our friendship is growing into something more than that.

My family is not happy about this relationship and I am getting no support from them. They tell me that its not a normal relationship to have and that they are worried I am going to have the same thing as happened last time happen to me again.

I am a very family-oriented person and I want them to approve of what I do and be there for me in a relationship that is going to be difficult anyway because of the distance.

This post makes me sound very dependent and soft -- but I am an independent person and make my own decisions ... I just don't want to jeopardize my family relationship -- but I am unsure of how to approach them about it. Maybe I am wrong myself [hence the thread title] and I need to just step away from this thing all together...

[GBRaul]

No it doesn't make you soft. There are many nice family guys around. In my opinion there's nothing wrong with long-distance dating, but since you haven't really had anything going yet, you can't expect too much from this (i.e. marriage is rather impossible in my opinion) unless the two of you are closer together. Think about it, are the two of you gonna be living near each other or something in the forseeable future? If not my suggestion is that you consider breaking this relationship and just remaining as friends. Unless you can work something else out with her.

[KirstyM]

Yeah I would suggest getting to know each other as friends... Describe her to your family as just a close friend. If you both want more from your relationship, perhaps it would be better to wait until you'll be able to see each other more often? I'm sure she would be worth it in the end.